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10dpo I’m so scared...

Hi everyone, I’ve been looking at all the posts for months and months now hoping that one day I’ll be able to post a BFP story, but no luck yet. I’ll give you some back ground info. My partner and I have been actively been trying to concieve for three months now but have not used protection in 20 months and have always BD’d on or around Ovulation (sorry I’m not great with the abbreviations yet). I’ve had a few months where I was so sure I was pregnant with a few symptoms but have always got a BFN.. I have always been big on POAS as early as possible around 5 days before AF. This month was my birthday and I was off work, we went away for the week and during this time I was O’ing. We Bd’d At every opportunity (sorry TMI). Short story long (lol) From around 5dpo I have been feeling nauseous but not sick, and have been waking up every few hours in the night, completely overheated and I’ve also had cramping but not like when I’m about to see AF (that doesn’t usually start for me until a day or two before AF). I am 8Dpo now and I have all these symptoms still, but I am also quite tearful (though I am usually and angry premenstral person). Today I went to the toilet and had CM which had a brownish tinge to it but no actual spotting. I keep yawning and my partner went into the toilet after me yesterday and he said “your pee smells really strong”. I’ve kind of gone off fatty foods as well and have been having salad (mixed with salmon) followed by fruit for lunch and I am more that satisfied. I really want to test in a few days time but I’m so scared that I’ll see a BFN. It’s so disheartening because I’ve just had BFN after BFN. I have a draw of tests ready to go but my fear is making me want to wait until well Post AF. What do you all make of this? I will keep you updated... with any extra symptoms and results of any tests that I do. The next 6 days is going to feel like 6 years Update: 10dpo:- Burping (I NEVER burp), hot flashes, nausea, nipples hurt, constipation (very hard stool), (TMI coming up) I have just been to the toilet and I have a lot of CM and it looks brownish like the last day of a period, I’ve had this for two days but today it’s ALOT. But I am still having a pain in my uterus where I usually get it when AF is on her way (this usually happens around three of four days before AF but this month started 5Dpo) I just want to know so badly now. I’m 10dpo and I usually come on 14dpo.. is it too early to test.. I don’t want another letdown

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