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Ready to give up...

Hello everyone! I am 36 years old and I’m ttc like forever.. I never had a baby or been pregnant before. Me and my hubby are together for 7 years and we weren’t really “trying” since this year. We weren’t preventing it also. I always had a concern because it could happen anytime since we weren’t preventing it and I was always being afraid that I might be infertile. I’ve been checked by my doctor and everything seems to be ok with me except that I have my right falobian tube blocked. Doctor said that many women achieved to have babies even in this condition. My hubby at the moment is afraid to check himself if he deals whith any problems on this topic so I’m here trying to figure out every month if I’m pregnant. Every time I feel that might be my month, I have symptoms but every time I’m dealing with BFN’s. This month I’ve checked everything before ovulation. Temperature, cm, I had a positive opk and we BD every day on my fertile days. Now since 1 Dpo I’m experiencing some symptoms that of course I had before but I also have some that never had. I had before on my TWW: cramps, tender breasts, bloating, dizziness, diarrhea. This time (I’m currently 6 dpo) I have all the above and also some symptoms I never had such: hot flashes, my body always feel warmer than usual, creamy cm ( I’m usually dry at this time of my cycle), I’m very moody, gassy and I also had a very sharp pain on my belly twice around 4 dpo. Now I’m sitting here in agony and even tho I don’t believe anymore that there will be a day that I will see my BFP, I can’t help but still wondering. Is there a chance for me to be pregnant? I’m ready to give up.. every month is so heartbreaking...
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