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pregnancy after miscarriage

I remember living on this website when TTC last summe so wanted to share my story. At the end of August I FINALLY got my BFP and posted my ecstatic BFP story on this website only to experience an early miscarriage shortly afterwards. It was DEVASTATING. But I wanted to share the follow up story to give people who have had a MC or CP some hope for future pregnancies. Started miscarrying on August 26th 2016. After I naturally miscarried [bled for about 4-5 days], DH and I began TTC again right away without waiting any cycles in between. We BD'ed every other day from CD9 through CD 21 with no expectations since I had JUST miscarried. I also continued with OPKs which confirmed that I ovulated even with it being post MC - it just happened little further out in my cycle than normal. We continued to use preseed every time we BD'ed because we got our first BFP our first month using it and really think it helped since I have dryer CM. Around 5 weeks post miscarriage I realized that 5 weeks had passed and still no sign of AF. I thought maybe this was normal since my cycle was still off from miscarrying the month before. But then I started gagging and feeling nauseous and that's what prompted me to take a pregnancy test. I was at work and felt so impatient that I drove to the walmart across the street, bought a walmart cheapie and took the pregnancy test in the walmart bathroom. It immediately came back positive. and it was a STRONG positive [September 30th - so almost a full month after miscarrying]. I was so overcome with joy I almost cried. I practically ran out of the store and instantly called my husband from my car while sitting in the parking lot. I couldn't believe our rainbow baby was coming so soon after losing the first one! Here are my temps/symptoms notes leading up to the BFP [as you can see, i wasn't very hopeful]: First Cycle Post Miscarriage DPO 1 - 97.99 Very thirsty. Could definitely be unrelated. Tired - napped for a couple of hours. DPO 2 - 98.07 Mild constipation. Dreamed of peeing/having to pee and woke up at 6am really needing to pee. Tired in the afternoon - took a couple hour nap. DPO 3 - 97.79 Tossed and turned all night and was so hot all night - but it was also a very hot and humid day and our AC isn’t the best. Woke up in middle of night and felt dying of thirst - chugged gatorade that was by my bed. Kind of feel resigned towards not being pregnant this month. Just not “feeling it”. Mood = not hopeful. Breaking out on my face and experiencing mild constipation. DPO 4 - 97.48 Temp took a major dip this morning. Feeling zero symptoms as of this morning. Clear wet CM. Barely noticeable internal boob pain sensations. DPO 5 - 97.72 Tossed and turned a lot last night. Vivid nightmares. Woke up with a stiff neck. Slight lower back pain. Very brief pangs in lower left abdomen. Clear wet CM. Normal amounts of energy. DPO 6 - 97.58 Temps are not promising this cycle. They look similar to the cycle when I wasn’t pregnant. Feeling pretty normal...haven’t had an ounce of boob soreness. Stiff neck and tossing and turning last night are the only things. Experiencing some mild cramping mid morning, slight back pain and clear wet CM. Blood while brushing teeth. Tired. DPO 7 - 98.07 Woke up with SLIGHT runny nose..barely noticeable. No other symptoms. DPO 8 - 98.07 No noticeable symptoms. DPO 9 - 98.07 Bleeding gums/sensitive teeth. DPO 10 - 97.98 Vivid nightmares. Not sleeping well. Bleeding gums/sensitive teeth. DPO 11 - 97.75 Vivid nightmares. Not sleeping well. Bleeding gums/sensitive teeth. DPO 12 - 98.07 Felt like I was going to throw up on my way to the gym. Vivid dreams. DPO 13 - 98.02 Small amount of lower back pain but I think it’s from working out. Been having vivid nightmares throughout the week. Also waking up constantly in the middle of the night and not sleeping well. SLIGHT breast pain every now and then, but probably because AF is coming. Had to pee at 2:30am. DPO 14 - 98.15 Waves of nausea all morning long. Hot all night long. A little constipated. Runny nose. Either I’m pregnant or I’m sick. Boobs feel “fuller”. Bloated. Lower back pain. Took a pregnancy test and it came back positive!!!!!!! Looking back, the most noticeable early symptoms were a stiff neck and bleeding gums/sensitive teeth. I know it sounds weird, but I experienced a stiff neck during BOTH months that I got my BFPs and this has not happened to me before or since. Also bleeding gums/sensitive teeth are not normal for me and this also happened both months I got BFPs. Its not towards the very end that the nauseousness ticked me off to the fact that I may be pregnant. Anyways, I am now 36 weeks pregnant with my rainbow baby and just want to pass on the hope that you can STILL have a beautiful healthy pregnancy following a miscarriage. Can't wait to meet my baby boy in just 4 weeks time!

Finally Happened! :)

To All Hopeful Mother's To Be, Like many woman who are TTC I symptom spotted on this site so many times wishing it'll be my turn already! So here I am 11 weeks pregnant giving you all who read this a little more hoping help along the way! :) My Last Menstrual Period (LMP) was 2/17 O day (ovulation) 3/1 Backaches, gas, cramps, left pelvic pain CM (cervical mucus) Lotion Like CP (cervical position) High, Medium/Soft, Open 1dpo (day post ovulation): Nausea CM: Same CP: Same 2-3dpo: Nothing CM: Same CP: Same, Same, slightly open 4dpo: Gas CM: Same CP: Medium, Same, Same 5dpo: Nothing CM: Same CP: Same 6dpo: Dull cramps after intercourse (normal for me) CM: Same CP: Same 7dpo: Bloating, cramps CM: Same CM: Same 8dpo: Gas CM: Same CP: Same 9-10dpo: Nothing CM: Same CP:  Low, Firm, Closed 11dpo: Implantation Extreme bloating & cramping. It felt like a long duration of heartburn! CM: Same CP: Same 12dpo: Right pelvic pain, Cramps CM: Same CP: Same 13dpo: 1st day of Missed Period (3/14) I waited exactly 7 days (3/21) to test because I did not want to be disappointed. But when I did... Lo & behold a very clear plus sign! I've tried the mucinex & the preseed but it didn't work for me. It worked the natural way w. Vitamins. I was taking iron, calcium magnesium zinc, & vitamin E. I want to let every woman here, who has doubts, know that if you have not been clinically diagnosed with infertility there is NOTHING wrong with u!!! All in God's timing. "Don’t worry about anything, but pray about everything. With thankful hearts offer up your prayers and requests to God" -Philippians 4:6-7 Lots of Baby Dust to you all! Xoxo
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Natural BFP w/ 400,000 sperm count SEVERE Male Factor

I'll keep this short & to the point but wanted to post this to give someone else hope!! I was never able to find any natural stories on counts as low as my husbands. I stopped birth control in 2010. We werent trying or preventing. We started really trying and opk strips from 2011-2012 (In our early twenties) My cycles were 30 days long. Nothing abnormal. After a year, we had a sperm count done on my husband and his count was only 800,000 TOTAL and only 50% motile. So only 400,000 able-bodied sperm. Genetic tests on both of us came back normal. Fertility clinic gave us a less than 1%chance of conceiving naturally. (Also, Husband had an undescended testicle at birth and surgery was performed when he was 2 years old so he has a varicocele on his left side and his left testicle is atrophied which is usually not a problem as long as the other testicle is functioning fine per the Urologist, sperm counts can still be normal. His isn't. Not sure why the right one isnt functioning as normal like it should but we never got it looked into or looked into varicocele surgery) Fertility dr put my husband on 3 months of Clomid and we did another sperm count. No improvement. He told us he wouldnt let us do IUI without 5million count minimum so he recommended IVF and ICSI. We decided to give up due to lack of funds and stress. Kept trying on our own and then stopped trying actively in mid 2013 after doing the whole Pre-Seed, opk strips, ferning checks etc. Nothing worked. We decided to move on and accept a life without children. In December 2014, I got pregnant. HUGE surprise! SO elated! No more than a day after getting my BFP, I miscarried at 5 weeks. Blighted Ovum. Just absolutely crushed us. Naturally miscarried. We assumed that was a fluke chance and never thought we would get another so we didnt start trying again or anything. just not preventing. In November 2015, I got pregnant AGAIN! Had ultrasounds at 6 and 8 weeks along and saw and heard a heartbeat and everything was fine or so it seemed. I began bleeding at 12.5weeks a few days before my next ultrasound and when we went to the ER we found out the baby had passed at 9 weeks. Missed Miscarriage. Naturally miscarried. No testing on tissue was done because we wanted to bury our baby. No testing on me was done either. 2nd cycle after my last miscarriage and I got pregnant AGAIN!!! Not trying or preventing. This time I was put on progesterone suppositories at 4 weeks until 14weeks along just in case and I am proud to say that we now have a happy& healthy 7 month old little girl after 6 years!!! I honestly think that the only reason we ever got our miracle baby was because of my miscarriages. It may be weird to think that but let me explain. I read that a womans cervix becomes slit like after it dilates a bit and tissue passes out even with a miscarriage so I believe that because of those, my cervix was a bit more open afterwards and allowed more sperm to go through. It only takes one!!!!! We have not had his sperm tested since the first few times years ago but I cant imagine anything has changed. His varicocele is still there. According to doctors and a fertility specialists, it should be near impossible for me to have gotten pregnant THREE times NATURALLY with only 400,000 sperm but it happened! Dont ever lose hope!!!!! I hope this story helps someone.

BFP after 8 long years of trying , thank God he's Faithful!

I have read all of these BFP stories for years, and I said I would post after I got my BFP. I am 38 yrs old and DH is 39yo, we've been married 10 yrs. My pregnancy road began in 2008, I tried natural cycles with Femara, then in 2010 found out I had endometriosis from exploratory laparascopy and found out DH had severe male factor. DH and I continued to try to get pregnant but nothing. In 2012 we tried a menopur cycle with hcg trigger but nothing. 2014 I had another laparascopy and polyp removal. We then tried IUI x2 , but still BFN. In 2015 after a failed IUI, we decided to look into IVF. Well November 2015 we had 7 eggs fertilized by ICSI. We transferred 2 3 day embryos. Needless to say, we were both devastated when it didn't work. We had 1 last embryo that was frozen, but we decided to wait because honestly I was very discouraged at this point. Well March 16th, 2017 we decided to transfer our 1 and only 2AB blastocyte frozen embryo, and on 3/27/17, I found out I was pregnant with beta of 270! I am now 7 weeks 6 days, and I know this is truly a blessing from the Lord. I thank him daily for this miracle. Here are my early symptoms : 1dpo Bloated feeling, pulling at navel. 2po- had very vivid dream, where I was killing people who were trying to kill me ( I know crazy right) that same night I had a somewhat spontaneous orgasmic like feeling. I just knew I was pregnant. 3dpo-4dpo- gassy, mild cramp here and there 5dpo- I had a very sharp pain when walking at the park with my mom, I had to stop walking for a second. 6dpt- early that morning around 2am, I took pregnancy test- BFN. I decided no more testing. 7pt- period like cramps and pressure in pelvic area 8dpt- I was at the grocery store and felt what felt like a menstrual period. I ran home and wiped say dark red/brownish blood. I wanted to cry, but prayed and took a HPT. I wasn't going to look at it thought I was out but I saw 2 faint lines. I took a digital and it said negative, so I decided to wait for my Beta in 3 days. 8dpt-10dpt I had very light brown or beige spotting, a cramp here and there. 11dpt- I had beta- 270 BFP 13dpt- beta 599 20dpt- beta 6,331 My EDD is 12/2/2017, MY 11TH Anniversary! ! God has a sense of humor! Let this be encouragement to all of you, with God all things are possible, Only Believe! Doubt the Doubt! If he did it for me he'll do it for you too!

BFP with uterine fibroid after 12 cycles!

I've read a million of these over the last year and just wanted to share with the other people reading these while they feel like they are waiting and waiting and waiting.... Just a little background info. I got pregnant with my DD with only 3 months of trying. During that pregnancy they found I had a uterine fibroid. It grew to about the size of a softball but somehow did not interfere with my pregnancy. Second time around not so easy. Still have the fibroid and with watching my diet and taking DIM plus for the past 4 months we were able to shrink it a ton. God finally gave us a yes! This is our 12th and finally successful cycle of Ttc! DPO 1-7 - Nothing DPO 8 - found I was emotional and pretty tired DPO 9 - still tired and emotional also had loose stools tmi DPO 10 - exhausted and starting to not sleep well. Cried over a commercial. Loose stools. DPO 11 - completely exhausted and ate chipotle twice in one day and was still hungry! That was one of the first signs with my first pregnancy. Hungry all the time DPO 12 - had a very vivid dream that I was pregnancy and had a blonde hair boy. I jumped out my hospital bed and yelled to everyone "See, I told you I was pregnant! It'll be interesting to see if this little one turns out to be a boy :) DPO - 13 Usually start craving chocolate by this time and my boobs are sore but I have none of this. Buy a hpt and decide to test next morning DPO - 14 I take test and......it's a dud! It only shows a partial test line but wait! I think I see the top part of the pregnancy line! I Wait one hour and test again and bam! BFP! PTL! Things I've been doing differently the past couple months is taking an estrogen metabolizer DIM plus - look it up! It rids your body of all the "fake estrogen" your body takes in from all the junk we eat. It also helped my periods a ton. We dtd from cd 5 and on (which I was really still on af) because I had a huntch I O'd earlier than my signs showed. I also have been a ton more active this past month mostly due to it being nice out. Not sure which one worked but so so so glad it did! I can't wait to meet our little bean! Do your research and don't be afraid to talk to a Dr! Blessings to all you reading this!
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BFP After 2 MC and 21 Months TTC!

I have been a lurker on this site for quite awhile and I always found people's BFP stories very helpful! Background info: I had a chemical pregnancy in April 2016 and a missed miscarriage at 11 weeks in October 2016. My cycles range from 32 days - 35 days with ovulation usually around cycle day 21 or day 22. I track BBT and use ovulation tests. This cycle I had my husband take Ubiquinol, B6, B12, Vitamin C, Vitamin D and Calcium. This was to improve his sperm and his sperm's DNA. We don't know the quality of his sperm, but I knew we had lost two babies and I'm only 1/2 the equation. I was taking prenatals, FertileCM, Ubiquinol, Calcium, Vitamin C, Vitamin D and used preseed. The previous cycle I took extra folic acid, vitamin b6 and vitamin b12, but I felt like it delayed my ovulation. So I stopped taking them. TWW Symptoms: I had slight spotting (VERY SLIGHT) 5 days before ovulation (very normal for me and is due to estrogen surge) and very slight spotting one day before ovulation (first time for this). 1-5 dpo - I was working on the deck outside and had company staying with us, so I didn't have time to think about symptoms. 6 dpo - I was exhausted, threw up in my mouth and struggled with nausea. At this point I had been working outside for a full week doing hard labor, so I didn't think anything of it. Noticed my breasts were a little sore on the sides. I was preparing dinner and got really dizzy. I had to hold onto the counter to keep from falling over/passing out. Told husband I might be sick and to keep an eye on me (in case I DO pass out). 7 dpo - Nausea continues with some slight vaginal cramping. Again, working outside, so I attributed it to not drinking enough water. Breasts still slightly sore on sides (normal for me). Runny nose and no cm. I noticed my hair was more oily than usual (this was my 1st pregnancy sign with baby #1). 8 dpo - Exhausted, slight nausea, breasts now sore on sides and underneath. Watery cm, but mostly dry. Noticed a little heart burn. Painful lower back (worked outside all day, so I figured I just had poor form). 1 bout of diarrhea. 9 dpo - Tired, lower back was killing me. Very nauseated in the morning. Hungry all the time, but after eating I almost threw up. The skin on my cheeks/nose were so dry, they started peeling. Boobs were very sore. I found myself talking about baby names with my husband and how to announce when we do get pregnant again (we NEVER talk about names unless we are pregnant, so this was weird for us). Moderate amount of watery cm. I had loose stools and insane, painful gas. I was having strong stabbing pains on the upper left side of my abdomen and a few sharp pains under my belly button. My right armpit (lymph nodes) were having aching pains. I also had some vaginal cramps (I associated all of this with horrible gas and possibly being sick). That night as we were going to sleep, I had this overwhelming sense of peace come over me. My heart started racing and I couldn't help but praise God for another chance to have a baby. 10 dpo - I got a faint positive test! I had mild nausea, one more stab of pain on my left side and very slight lower back aches. I also started having terrible heartburn. My facial skin was very dry and peeling. 11 dpo - Face is still peeling, breasts are very sore, but overall I feel pretty good. What I am doing to prevent another mc: I am now taking Prenatals, Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12 (read a study that showed women who had diets high in B12 tended to have quieter babies because they could produce melatonin more easily), extra folic acid, Vitamin D, Calcium, Vitamin C and have been eating pineapple since ovulation. When I got my BFP I got a prescription from my doctor for progesterone suppositories and started taking 1 baby aspirin a day. I have a good feeling about this baby! Please pray we get to keep him/her! I hope this brings you hope!

NEVER GIVE UP!

I can remember the days of wanting to be someone writing on this board telling my story. I promised myself I would do it. There were so many days I would look at this board hoping my symptoms matched up with someone else's giving me that big fat positive. That actually never happened for me.... So here it is.... Oct 2015--first time ttc we got pregnant, only to start miscarrying about 5 days later which we later found out was ectopic...I was a lucky one in that I did not lose my tube or damage it. (Found that out with a hsg the following January) In February 2016 we were giving the okay to start ttcing again! Yay! I was so optimistic. 6 mos later I was still not pregnant so we went to my ob/gyn to discuss options. It was suspected that I had mild PCOS and that using the fertility medication clomid would help. I took this 3 months in a row and had confirmed ovulation from blood work....still not pregnant.... we decided to stop the medication in November 2016 and seek additional help from a fertility specialist. I saw the specialist in January who also suggested a mild case of PCOS that would not be affecting my fertility. My husbands SA came back perfect. We decided to try an IUI (Just google it if you aren't familar). I was told that the first one has a chance of not working because they may miss my ovulation while learning my cycle, so I was cautiously optimistic. The next day after my first appt with the specialist I got my period! (I was SO excited for this) I began my medication (clomid again) on day 3-7 then went in for a follicle scan on day 12 that determined I had 2 great mature follicles and 1 potential (so possibly 3 Eggs) I was instructed to trigger shot on day 14 and have my iui on day 16. I had mild cramping on this day. The following symptoms are post iui.... Dpiui 1-11----not a single symptom! I normally get sore boobs about 7-10 dpo when I get bfn's so this was a little strange to me, but has fluctuated before so I didn't think much of it. Dpiui 12----waves of nausea after lunch which I chalked up to me eating greasy chicken at lunch, I really didn't think much of this either. I was instructed not to test until day 15 due to the hcg trigger shot potentially giving me a false positive, however the night before I was supposed to test my husband and I really wanted to go to the casino....and because if I was pregnant I wouldn't want to be around second hand smoke, I told him I'd go ahead and test and if there was no line we would go...because obvious it would be bfn.... It was BFP! With FRER. I took a digital one the next morning and it said positive 2-3weeks! Then I was instructed to do blood work at 16dpiui...came back great at 346! I was instructed to return 2 days later...bad news...it had only risen to 593 and the doctor would like to see it double....I was told to be cautiously optimistic. But they wanted a recheck in another 48 hrs....hcg was 979...still not doubling....after googling (mistake!!!) I read it could be ectopic....and my doctor asked if I could come in first thing Monday morning for an ultrasound to see if it was ectopic....I prayed. And prayed. And prayed. And asked everyone around me to pray. To my surprise, the baby was in my uterus, there was one baby and everything was measuring normally. (All we could see was a yolk sac at this point) yay! Two weeks later we saw a baby and heard a strong heart beat of 144 ❤️ And two weeks after that I saw my baby with arms and legs and measuring right at what it's supposed to. My best suggestion is to NEVER give up hope, never stop praying. I stopped telling God what I wanted and started saying "if it is your will, will you please give me a child" I let go of the control and just put my faith in God. I'm not saying this will be God's will for everyone but he always has the greatest plan in mind. Just trust him. I'm 10 weeks pregnant now and continue to pray for God to keep his hand on this pregnancy. I pray for each one of you reading this that God will answer your prayers. He will.

I'm a NEW Mom :-) but it wasn't easy!

It seemed like everyday I was reading stories on this site and I found them so comforting to me. I'm happy that I'm taking the time to write one of my own and hopefully ease the feelings of some of the women on here. I know it made me feel better to know that hope was just around the corner. I got married on 05/23/14 , I was 27. I got off birth control right after the wedding. A year passed and still nothing, I began to worry I was too old. By Christmas of 2015 I was ready to throw in the towel and just settle with the idea that we would just be a family of two. I didn't count days, stress or worry about babies anymore I enjoyed drinking and partying because I would be leaving my 20's soon. That x-mas i read up on Mayan Abdominal Massages so I figured hey what's the worst that can happen, I tried it and come January, I was pregnant, super excited, but sadly an excitement that only lasted 5 days, i miscarried but I told my husband that I was happy because at this point I knew I was able to get pregnant, IT WAS A POSSIBILITY, I had NEVER been pregnant before. Next thing you know I got pregnant right away, I spent all 2016 (9 months) pregnant, my daughter was born November 14, 2016 I was 29. For those of you out there TTC, be patient and remain calm, try out that Mayan Abdominal Massage and God could send a blessing your way.
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Finally BFP at 39, no supps!

So at last I am not out this month! I got my BFP early this morning and it's surreal bc I wasn't even getting my hopes up, as I don't really feel PG. I believe the only weird thing I noticed was irritation down there. I have been around this site for over a year, and we ladies always symptom spot inside the 2ww, but I must say that this cycle was where I experienced the least symptoms and I am PG! And believe me bc this is the 5th time in my life I've been PG with one live birth, DD 17. I had a non-viable at 7 weeks in 2015 and took a break so this was my 7th cycle actually tracking my O dates and with much prayer to the Almighty, and one baby aspirin each night, here I am! I mentioned not much symptoms, but I am still going to give you what I was feeling. Now my cycle is like clock work every 26 days with a 11-12 day Luteal: 2DPO – Nothing much, slept in til 11am. (Daylight saving day) took a long walk with SO and starting to feel irritation in groin and vaginal area and itchy butt. Very hungry. IBS with bloody stool. (not unusual for me prob eating too much sh**) Didn’t sleep well. 3DPO – Super tired in the morning, didn’t want to get up. More IBS. Hungry. Otherwise, all seems absolutely quiet. Extra tummy churning and loud rumbles. 5DPO – Vaginal and rectum area extremely irritated. Piles? 6DPO – Nothing much, slight discomfort in lower pelvic area. March 17th/7DPO - 8DPO – Early AF spotting? Not yet. 9DPO – AF due. Not yet. Felt super tired and slept a lot this day, was bloated in the early part of the day then it went. Some discomfort in lower pelvis but not out of the ordinary. If I was still spot checking I would think this is ligament stretching pain. 10DPO – AF here? No AF yet! But strangely no longer thinking I could be PG either. Woke up with slight headache. But no symptoms, no sore or throbbing BBs so I know I’m not PG just waiting on AF to arrive sometime this week. 11DPO – AF? Not Yet. AF is always early never later, but I don’t feel pg so I don’t want to POAS. Late afternoon still no sign of AF. Lower pulling in pelvic. Feeling as though I did a bunch squats and crunches. 12DPO – AF? Nope. 13DPO – Now AF is officially late and I still feel pulling in my the middle of pelvis, especially when I stand up. I went to buy a HPT. Breasts started getting sore that evening, loosing concentration and I sliced my finger while cooking! 14DPO – 4:20am I got up to pee and took the HPT and BFP! BumP! Wow within seconds too! I’ve been super forgetful and sleepy all day. I sum it up to my only symptoms in the 2ww to be headache and piles. I will keep my prayers going for my sticky bean, I wanted to wait until a see a HB but I have faith this is the one, I just know it. Good luck to you ladies, your time is coming! ***Baby dust to all!!
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BFP two months after miscarriage

I always told myself I would post my story since there are so many different stories and there could be someone going through what I did,end up reading this, and having hope. That is what this website did for me. I never thought reading stories about a bfp (an unhealthy amount of stories a day might I add lol) would have such an impact on my negative or positive mood. I'll start with a little background story. I'm 26 years old, and from the age of 18 had an addiction that I would try to beat for 8 years. I decided to make a life change and leave it behind however I always felt inadequate, I felt like I could never be a good mom after some of things I had went through. I felt like I had ruined my body and chances of even carrying a child but God saw something different for me. I never thought I would get my life together, meet a genuine guy who loved me and treated me right, and that I would live a life of normalcy. By the grace of God I was able to overcome those things. In December I found out I was pregnant. I wasn't trying,but like I said I thought I could never get pregnant so I thought it may be stress. I took a test at a week late and it was negative. When I still hadn't started two weeks later I took a second one and it was positive. I was in shock, I panicked, I thought everything I had worked for all of the goals I had in place were at a hault. I honestly didn't know how to feel. Someone close to me talked me through it and explained how God had given me a new purpose in life and those words changed everything. When I really thought about it financially we would be fine,I was in a healthy place emotionally, and I finally got a little confidence that I could do this. I was good enough to be a mom. But after a week of constant cramps and spotting red blood I knew something wasn't right. I went to the ER because I had no idea what else to do,and found out I had miscarried. The heartbreak was worse than anything I had ever experienced (which has been a lot with my past). I once again felt even more inadequate, I thought it was my fault,that my body just couldn't handle it. I never thought this would have such an impact on my life. I had fell in love with the idea of being a mom, of the new life I had ahead of me. The sleepless nights, the stress, but all for an amazing purpose. I went through a depression, the first month I couldn't stop obsessing about it. I had came up with all of these insane reasons of why I had a miscarriage until I realized how it's actually almost normal. I finally had gotten to a better place and we decided maybe we could try and start a family. So we did. After my first period after the miscarriage. I wanted to try but I didn't want to try so hard as to stress my boyfriend or me out during the process. So I did simple things like checked my discharge daily, downloaded an ovulation app, had sex every other day give or take a few days. I actually started eating healthier, making sure I had my greens every day etc. Which I'll be honest these things still stressed me out. I never realized how stressful getting pregnant could be! I just pictured it like a movie. I was up and down the entire month. I ovulated around cycle day 14. I had egg white cm. Ever since the day I ovulated I was bloated,had gas,had random cramps. On cycle day 20 I woke up with a dull cramp that felt like ovulation cramps. It kept me up for three hours. That's when I knew I was probably pregnant. After that I would wake up with headaches, I was so emotional and on edge. I lost it on my boyfriend a few times. The anger during my pregnancies I can feel so much more than usual anger. I'm very laid back and calm usually. This was also a huge indicator. I cried a few times (very out of the ordinary for me) I started to break out towards my period, which is normal but last much longer than the usual two days of a pimple or two. I had taken tests since a week after ovulation and had gotten negatives. Four days before my expected period I had a very very light line on a test. I showed my boyfriend and he could see it too. But I didn't want to get too excited and ended up with negatives after that so it was probably a faulty test. I end up missing my period and my breasts started aching. Took a test day of missed period and three days after all negative. I was so upset and this was such a stressful situation I decided I would stop trying and trust God that it would happen the next month if it was meant to be. I couldn't go through the stress of tracking everything again! Four days after my missed period I got a very faint positive on a first response. Which honestly I couldn't see when I first looked but noticed later. I had just bought a puppy to help with the healing of the miscarriage because I was so sure I wasn't pregnant. But when I see that very faint life that even a camera couldn't pick up I knew. I took a second one two days later scared to death but also had another faint line.
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