I am beyond happy to be finally able to share my success story and hope to all of you.
We had been trying for about 5 ys (started at 29) after the first year we started to see doctors as nothjng was happening, but no concludent results. He was onced diagnosed with a minor...slowness in his sperm, but took treatment and it improved. I had a sinosalpyngogram to check my tubes, came out perfect. Hormone tests, perfect. We went to a fertility specialist who had me monitored, put me on Clomid and triggered ovulation. Nothing,
By that time we started having troubles in our marriage (not connected with the infertility, but I suppose the whole mechanical baby making and rush didn't help much). This was year 2 of trying I think. After a very rough patch we got therapy, started working really hard on ourselves, both individually and as a couple, and I'm beyond grateful to say we made it. Needless to say, we did not prevent during this time and I kept hping that maybe...but no.
After about 4 years someone recommended a good embryologist who had us run some genetic tests and sent us to a new OB Gyn. This was my 4th or 5th doctor since we had started trying. The genetic tests came out well, but I had really low ovarian reserve (AMH 0.6). But the doctor was hopeful, she said as long as it's not 0 we can aways have a baby. We made a plan. The first thing she noticed was that I had a cyst on my left ovary, it had been there for years and had not evolved. All previous doctors had expressed a concern that it might be endometrial but stopped there. This doc put me under operatioin (histeroscopy) to check what was inside my uterus.
The results were bad. There was tissue floating everywhere inside, and my tubes were blocked with endometrial tissue. This lets liquid through (hence the ok sono test) but not the egg (hence, no pregnancy). We were relieved to finally understand the reason. It's worth mentioning that I never had the excruciating pain linked to endo, though I had often asked myself (had felt!) that maybe I have it.
We started preparing for IVF, our only option.
A few months before, listenjng to my body signals, I had started a very restrictive diet, after having read the book Inconceivable. I quit sugar, meat, dairy and gluten. (Kept alcohol though, because sanity). Later I found out this is the endo diet. It took about 4 months to see some results in improved digestion. I also started accupuncture.
I had some new cysts, got on birth control, they went away..only after 4 months were we able to do the IVF.
By that time I was exhausted, but made a pledge to stay positive throughout the treatment, as I had read it's invasive and takes its toll on body and mind.
I had 5 follicules(very low by normal standards) even after stimulation. I was also concerned what stimulation will do to the endo , since estrogen exacerbates endo. BUT. I took stimulation very well. Had little if any symptoms. At the retrieval they only found 3 eģgs, 2 of the follicles were cysts. My doc did the impossible and fished one out from behind my endo cyst. 2 of the eggs got fertilized ok, 1 made it to blastocyst. We were thrilled.
After the transfer here's what I did:
1. Lots of meditation started even before. Daily or even twice daily. No visualization, just emptying the mind and relieving stress.
2. Took 4 days off and stayed in bed.
3. Ate all those healthy stuff they recommend on youtube videos : pineapple, warm foods etc. No sugar. (I had cut out alcohol beginning of stimulation)
4. Continued accu (day 3 post transfer and onwards).
5. And most important : had FAITH and listened to my body.
My doctor also gave me a cocktail of medication to make the embryo stick : antispastic meds, aspirin, magnesium and progesterone. I did not take any prenatal vitamins but ate as healthy as I could.
All these years stalking the TTC boards, I had all the possible pregnancy symptoms ever. So I did not believe anymore..and had very little symptoms when I actually GOT pregnant. Sore breasts - not more than in PMS. Sleepyness - but I was lying in bed and resting all the time! Nausea - none!
I hsd days when I felt pregnant and days when I felt nothing.
I tried to believe that if this little speck of light inside me wants to stay, it will. If not, it will be okay.
I really believe that it was this combination of Faith and Letting Go that made the difference.
Two days before the Beta (I did not pee on a stick but waited for lab results) I noticed that when driving, I avoided potholes and cringed whenever I went over a bump. I was doing this completely unaware, but instinctively protecting my belly. That's when I went home and said to my husband "I really think I AM pregnant".
A few days later, just on Christmas Eve, we went for Beta, and it came out positive. I am now entering my 3rd month, and feel overjoyed, surreal and frightened at the same time.
I want to say what i believe made the difference for me: