I've been reluctant to write anything here because, while I'm not totally pessimistic, I am realistic. And when you've been TTC for over 3 years and are on a first name basis with your RE and his staff, realistic is the only thing that helps maintain your sanity.
It all started out in a kingdom far, far away in a land called NJ where a weird, loud girl met a very serious but secretly hilarious boy and the rest was history.
DH and I are both 31 and married for 7 years (to each other.) Around December/January 2013 we decided we were really ready to start a family. So, since we decided, POOF, it was going to happen! Right? Wrong. Year one - nada.
Year two then became a job. OPKs, legs up for 20 minutes after, Preseed, fertility vitamins, pineapple core, the whole kit and caboodle. The result? Nada for yo momma.
Year three - we're seeing a specialist. In Feb 2015 I had an HSG with no complications. Prior to IUI's, it was determined that my DH and I had no complications, no medical anomalies, nothing that could be "fixed." We got to set up our tent in Camp Unexplained Infertility. Oh, joy. In July - IUI#1 with 50mg Clomid - Nope, try again. August - IUI#2 25mg Clomid - Ask again later. September - IUI#3 25 mg Clomid - What did you think was going to happen? BFN.
That last IUI failure was definitely deflating and we decided to really enjoy the remainder of the year and move onto IVF in January 2016. On 1/26/16 I started my first IVF cycle. I was on 200IU of Follistim from CD2-9, Ganirelix from CD6-10, triggered with 5000IU of hCG on CD10, and retrieval on 2/5/16. 20 Eggs retrieved, 11 Matured, and 9 Fertilized. I began with 1CC of Progesterone the following day. (I'll get into my system for that shortly.) My transfer was 5 days later, the doc even showed me a picture of my blue haired, blonde eyed embryo. Looked just like his dad. (For more on the procedure, see my blog here.) I jumped the gun and tested with an Early Response Clearblue on the 16th (I HAD A $5 OFF COUPON! YOU CAN'T WASTE THAT!) and I got a BFN! That was it, I thought I was out. But I thought, better to know now then on the 19th after my blood test, at least I'm expecting that call from the nurse.
I go in the 19th for my blood test feeling pretty neutral. Spent the rest of the day not really thinking about it. I get a call from my nurse around 3.... Congratulations. "What? You kidding? Shut up!" I could tell the nurse was used to be screamed at because she was laughing. I FINALLY GOT MY BFP! It's STILL surreal. I shut my office door and had myself an unexpected sob-sesh with that ugly laugh cry, ugh, it was gross, BUT TOTALLY WORTH IT!
Tomorrow I am officially 6 weeks pregnant and am having my first ultrasound. Received a call today from my nurse and my levels are increasing as they should I did have to up my Progesterone (PIO) dosage from 1CC to 1 1/2CC about a week ago, my levels weren't where they should have been but it's looking good now.
As for symptoms, it's still early so nothing has been show-stopping but there are some noticeable differences:
1 - 2 DP5DT: Obvious pressure down under; sporadic pinches, possible implantation? No spotting.
3 - 9 DP5DT: Getting up many times a night to pee. My dogs are like "again?"
3 - 22 DP5DT (today): Definitely tired. I get random spells during the day when I get very sleepy, but nothing that stops me in my tracks. I now just go to bed around 8/8:30 and that has helped with my exhaustion during the day.
And this one JUST happened and I find it HILARIOUS! My DH STINKS!!! I should preface with the fact that we constantly joke about how my DH never smells, he sweats and there's no BO, feet after a run are like a spring rain, the man just NEVER stinks. So, last night I'm sitting with him watching some TV and I start leaning away. I smell the blanket, no. His t-shirt, no. The dogs, no. Then I grab his arm and smell his skin, DING DING DING! Awful smell - it was so weird! This morning I'm sitting at the clinic (blood work) and I google "Pregnant, my husband smells" and article after forum post after top things that smell - husbands. I was that crazy broad laughing to myself in the waiting room. I did let him off the hook by telling him "it's not you, it's me."
And that's my story! I've attached a little visual of what it took to get to where I am now but I wouldn't trade it for anything (not even my multi-colored, kids bandages)! SCIENCE! And some good mojo ;)
Good luck to everyone still TTC. My wish is that I brought a little hope to you that it can happen, but with everything that's worth doing, we have to put in equal effort.