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Trying-to-Conceive Blog

Trying-to-Conceive Blog

If you’re anything like me, you’re reading everything you can get your hands on when it comes to trying to get pregnant. Thank goodness for the Internet – I don’t know how anyone got pregnant before the advent of personal computing….

We have a place here on TWW for ladies to tell their BFP stories, as well as a spot for submitting their symptoms to determine if they might be pregnant. We have a wonderful TTC community where you can get valuable support and ask questions. But until now, we didn’t have a spot for the detailed monologue of your trying to conceive experience.

Introducing the Two Week Wait Trying-to-Conceive Blog. This is where you can create your very own blog of your TTC experience—every detail, blow by blow. Note that you’ll need to create an account with us first in order to create your blog. It’s free, of course. That’s how we roll here at TWW.  *there is a 24 hour waiting period on new accounts before you'll be able to start posting to your new blog.  In the meantime, have a look around and get to know the site!

Happy blogging!

https://www.nutritionsofhealth.com/jet-pro-x/

Jet Pro X during physical activity, how to step down, how to modulate it? To do this, as we have seen, it would be necessary to decrease the SHBG so that there is a greater bioavailability of Jet Pro X in the blood. It turns out that when insulin and IGF ( Insulin like growth factor increases, SHBG concentrations decrease because insulin actually inhibits SHBG. Insulin and IGF are peptide hormones that have similar chemical structures. IGF is produced by the liver by stimulating GH growth hormones. In other words, the higher the insulin, the more anabolic. The concern with insulin is that it makes the muscles swell but it increases the number and size of the fat cells which is unpleasant for all people.

https://www.nutritionsofhealth.com/jet-pro-x/

Acupuncture & TTC

So, getting stuck with needles. Turns out I’m into it.

Acupuncture has diminished some of my formerly hideous PMS. It’s regulated my cycles to 28 days and makes for fewer colds and flus. This was the first winter I only fell sick once and that’s a miracle considering I take public transport in Brooklyn 7 days a week, which is sort of like licking a biohazardous petri dish on the daily. I’m also convinced it helped me get pregnant and (downer alert) helped my body to return to normal more quickly after that pregnancy ended in blighted ovum. 

A fascinating thing happened in the days following my first TTC acupuncture session. I have no less bizarre way of putting this: it felt like there was popcorn going off in my ovaries and uterus. I don’t mean in a scary violent way, but more in a “waking up” sense. I wasn’t ovulating (it was CD3) but when I looked this phenomenon up, multiple women had posted similar accounts. Until that moment, I’d never really “felt” my insides to such an extent. It was a big deal for me.

Everytime I read posts by women asking if acupuncture is really worth it, I’m reminded of the days when I’d google-stalk “TTC + acupuncture“ in hopes of figuring out whether it was right for me, and while I’ve been doing it weekly for half a year, I’ve never weighed in on it.

Until now:

I live in NYC where you *can* get super fancy high end acupuncture for hundreds of US dollars a pop, but because I work in education and have budgetary restrictions I got to Chinatown weekly, where they charge $45 for an hour long session. 

The first time I showed up for an appointment, I burst into tears when the acupuncturust (a demure Chinese gentleman in his 60’s) asked if I had kids. That was last year, and at 36 I could look the guy in the eye and say I’d never been pregnant. He asked me to lie down and relax. It became clear that this was not going to be the sort of medical relationship where I could spill my emotional beans, and you know what? I’ve savored that quietude ever since.

Once a week I fork out $45 to lie down in a small, bare room and listen to a CD of calming piano on rote while the good doctor patiently needles me: three horizontally placed in a line just above my pubic bone, two on the first joint of each thumb, two on the pinky-side of my ring fingers, one in each inner ankle, one in each temple and one at the crown of my head.

Then as he leaves my module, he says “ok, try to sleep.” 

I never sleep. 

Instead, I listen to other patients through the thin walls explaining their ailments, or the odd groan from acupressure activities in the neighboring rooms- shoulders and spines being squished. My thoughts travel all over the map.

After 30 minutes the acupuncturist returns, removes the first set of needles and tells me to roll over. I stick my face through a hole in the table I’m lying on and he places around a dozen needles in my back. Some of these I barely feel going in but a couple of them definitely make me jerk a little. He says “hurt!” like it’s a good thing, and I grunt. The pain goes away in seconds and then, if he’s feeling extra proactive he’ll put a heat lamp over the exposed back and hook me up to a machine that sends low frequency electrical currents to those needles. This is thought to strengthen the result with a little extra stimulation. It sort of feels like your back is being aggressively flicked, at worst. Eventually he comes back, unhooks me and removes round two of the needles. Then he says “ok see you next week” and there you have it.

During these sessions I try to think about my body readying itself for a healthy pregnancy. when I fell pregnant earlier this year it lasted 7 weeks before they diagnosed me with blighted ovum. Yes, I was crushed by the news and a natural miscarriage turned out not to be all that “therapeutic” for me (ow). 

But.

I *actually got pregnant.* That was a first. And at 37, I’m counting all the blessings I can. If I got pregnant once, theoretically I can swing it again. Who’s to say next time, I won’t score a healthy ovum? Only time will tell, but I do believe that acupuncture kickstarted what little fertility my body can biologically muster at this point. So I’m gonna keep going back until a baby shows up or I grow old in reasonable immunological health... hopefully both, though. 

 

 

 

2ww: Month six, dropping the sticks.

I'm going to try a slightly different approach this month, the more dare I say it 'relaxed' approach. I have decided to put my clear blue fertility monitor and the sticks down. Just for this month, give myself a little break from the craziness of OPK kits for one month. I think my husband will be relieved too, I won't be running around screaming "IT'S A PEAK GET ON ME BEFORE MY EGG DIIIEESSSS." Which obviously can lead to performance anxiety and just isn't a turn on surprise surprise. Or something to that extent. We have tried the I won't tell you when I'm peaking approach, to my horror he normally says "Not today I'm tired." Then in my head I'm like "OOOOH REAALLYY! So you want a baby or not because MY EGG'S ABOUT TO DIIEEEE BIITTTCH GET ON THIS!" 

 

Yeah maybe all that stress on myself and on my partner isn't great, but I know my cycle well. I get ovulation pains when I'm ovulating so won't be able to ignore it. We've decided to try and do the baby dance every other day, and make it more fun. It was getting a bit like hop on and get it over with, if you get me. Maybe this will give our relationship a slight renaissance period taking us back to the ever more normal pre baby 'trying' days. I feel good about having a little bit of my life back.

 

Another change I am making is a big change to my diet. I have been reading Fertile by Emma Cannon through my period tear filled eyes and it is making  a lot of sense to me. I have suspected Endo, and there is a diet tailored to those who may have Endo. There's other things in there too, like possible blood issues and how to balance your blood out. It is such an interesting read and I honestly think all women should read it TTC or not. Now, Emma says to stop saying you're "trying" for a baby and start saying you're "preparing" for a baby. I guess that takes some of the feeling of 'I tried and I fucking failed' away from your thoughts. Honestly, anything that can lift you up from the period gutter is worth it in my eyes! I got mine on my phone through the kindle app so I can sneak a few pages wherever  I am. 

One more thing I am doing, meditation. Yes. I am becoming a full on hippy. I will only wear leaves and bathe in streams from now on. But seriously, I have a stressy job, as do we all I'm guessing, and I need to zen out at the end of the day even for 10 minutes. I have done fertility meditaion before and actually quite enjoyed it, though my husband officially thought I'd finally lost it. Then one day, he lay next to me and joined in and saw what the fuss was about. That was a good day.

I have also been googling baby announcement photos...Just incase it is me one day. And it actually didn't make me feel sad. So that's good.

Be kind to yourselves,

Love

Hopefulmum2b xxx

 

2ww: The cycle bicycle

Hello, I'm HM2B and I'm on cycle day two. TWO! And I'm already going bat shit cray. I've had two frozen ciders in the garden to numb my pain. 

On the way home from work, where my colleague announced she was pregnant with her second baby that she didn't want by accident and isn't happy about it, I went to a Chinese medical herbally hippy place. I waited for the kind lady to see me and have a quick chat with me. "I just wanted to know more about accupuncture...For fertility." I asked, expecting her to tell me  she would say a prayer over me while massaging me and carassing me with kittens and hey presto! But no. She told me it will be £300, that I don't have. So that's out the fucking window! Has anyone tried this? Did it work? Let me know! I will pimp myself out to make this possible if it has.

Then I went home where my husband was literally ripping the bathroom out. His way of coping is home improvement and keeping busy, but us women work differently and we just like to think about and obsess over everything. Maybe because we're the ones who have to behave ourselves during the 2WW and look for every sign we are carrying the future of the world. No pressure.  

I feel at times, especially like this, the journey puts a bit of distance between my husband and I. He doesn't get why a pregnancy announcement on instagram will make me cry. Not because I'm not happy for the person, just because my womb is a sh!t head and is bleeding everywhere and making me emotional! Plus I really want to be that person making the announcement. I know I will one day, but it doesn't make it any easier. He likes to keep himself busy with walking the dogs or projects, but I like to wollow a little and lay in bed eating chocolate and listening to podcasts. 

Anyway, it's the weekend and I have to go into the world and see people. 

Good luck ladies!

Hopefulmum2b

11weeksand5days

i promised myself that i was going to try my best and upload a blog atleast once a week! I’ve been so tired and busy! The baby is growing! FAST. I went for an ultrasound yesterday. I got to hear the heart beat for the first time And i couldn’t believe it it was real! my body is creating a miracle. 

work has been stressing me out and i worry that it’s affecting the baby. I work as a nurse aide and work with a dementia patient. They have become more aggresive and a little physical pushing me around. I did tell her daughter that i was pregnant but i got attached to my patient even tho she is agressive  can’t leave her. I’ll see how far things go. 

I hope everyone is doing well. Babydust to y’all! 

2ww: How to get through your period: An experts guide

Ok so I'm not really an expert,sorry if you feel cheated, just a regular 28 year old girl who has been having her period since she was 12. However, never have my periods been as poignant as they have these last five agonising months of TTC. If you've been following my posts, yep I got my mother effer of a period last night. I was stupidly googling implantation bleed pics wishing and hoping I was wrong and that's what it was. And I cried, a lot.

If you got your period instead of your BFP, I'm so sorry that the baby Gods are shitty sometimes. It seems so ironic the thing that shows us we can reproduce causes so much anger. 

So here is my humble guide to getting through your period:

1. Get online and order yourself a pink parcel if you can. It's a cute box filled with the sanitary products of your choice! You can choose between pads, tampons or a mixture! On top of having the conveniance of pads delivered to your door, you also get a load of treats designed for your period. You even get beauty products worth over £40! This month I got chocolate, tea, an eye mask, perfume, body wash, lip scrub AND eyeliner! It did cushion the blow of my period ever so slightly.

www.pink-parcel.com

 

Pro tip: Save opening the box until aunt Flo rears her ugly head.

2. Let yourself cry, and watch this Oprah video about letting go and surrendering: www.youtube.com/watch?v=tLAoc4HwecU . There is nothing we can do now, but let go and wait for the next cycle. This is a cruel, unfair game. 

3. Read Bump and Grind, an honest look at trying to conceive. It has helped me laugh through the tough times.

4. Allow yourself a glass of wine, some good sushi and a trip to the hot tub. Do the things you didn't during your two week wait.

5. Confide your feelings in someone- trying to conceive is lonely, so let it out girl! Message me if you want! Post in a forum or if you've told your friends you're trying tell them.

 

You aren't alone, 

Good luck to us all, and be so very kind to yourself. You've got this far, you're one step closer to your BFP. You won't ever have to do this time again.

Love:

Hopefulmum2b

 

Fun Ways to Wallow in Despair for 2 Weeks

Greetings Weary Fellow Travelers

So in case you’ve never trolled Instagram for the hashtag #stylethebump (with your tear-stained BFN pee stick next to you on the sofa in case the second line magically shows up hours later to rescue you from your crushing despair- spoiler alert, it won’t) I thought just for shits and giggles I’d walk you through the salient features of the #stylethebump realm.

Preamble: looking at #stylethebump imagery when your body just cant seem to make a baby hurts real good, like ripping off a hangnail or flipping through a fashion magazine when you are too broke to buy any of the clothes of products in it.

It’s a pain so wrong it‘s right. Torture porn for would-be mothers. The bane of my joy, the bread and butter of a satisfying brutality I cannot justify and hopefully will never be publicly called upon to have to. 

You’ll either totally get what I’m saying or think I’m insane. And you’d be right, ladies.

So without further ado and in no particular order, a list of patently #stylethebump stuff that I love to loathe:

•messy braids, eyes of delight and “cheeky“ handwritten signs reminding us of how tiresome the burden (um, hello, PRIVILEGE) of pregnancy is, see attached image that made me want to chew my own face off 

•wholesome natural lighting, like so much of it flooding every corner of these women’s lives... lucky for them they appear not to have zits or body hair or furniture dust or outlets or light switches 

•pale linens and rustic hand crafted home goods, stacked in abundance by unseen hands

•high heels, because what’s a pregnancy without “cute shoes“ that your “so obsessed with—“ I, for one, would immediately buy two wastepaper baskets, line them with Play Dough™️ and wear only those for 9 months were the fertility gods to favor me just this once

•obedient looking, highly stylized slightly waxen J Crew men standing by in reverence

• a bewildered dog or, better yet, small child, who has been co-opted into making this digital announcent to the world yet sort of looks like they’ve been taken hostage (“Skyler can’t wait to meet our new little one“ yeah, well that’s not what Skyler- or your dog’s- haunted eyes tell me)

• meadows, pricey “baby-moon” destinations, grand stairways into palaces, I’m a sad loser, I actually just wrote this list, goodnight 

2ww: About ready to say EFF IT...but not really

So I tested today...naughty naughty! The day before AF rears her big red ugly head. It said EFF YOU STUPID GIRL YOU AIN'T PREGGERS! So basically BFN. I am so fed up of seeing no lines or NOT PREGNANT FOOL come up on the screen. I felt like AF was coming, I should of known but hey aren't we all glutton for punishments? I understand, 5 months still early days. But heck do these 2ww's feel like a life sentence of watching paint dry and hating everything.

So I come home from work and I see some blood in my discharge...So I am thinking this is AF coming for me to put me out of my misery and show me the BFN was correct. I have been eating my weight in chocolate which is usual before AF so should have known. I guess what annoys me too is the fact I have to behave myself quite well during these two weeks then when AF is like "whatsup b!tch you could of had that wine and maybe visitied a sauna afterall! But hey I didn't want to show up on time...I just wanted to make you sweat a little and annoy you. By the way I'm staying for four days." It gets to me! I want to say "Eff you Aunt Flo! Pleas note you are evicted from my womb for 9 months until a baby pops out." But not this month.

Also, my husband saw me do a test before he left for work. I could see he was so excited and told me to wait until we're home to tell him. So I threw the dinner on the table and he gave me a big hug and a kiss saying "Is there a reason why you're so happy?" I'd just read a funny comment on a forum. I said "No, sorry. Doesn't look like it's happening this month....eff it. I can't handle this much longer!" But we all know I was being dramatic and won't be getting an oscar for lieing any time soon.

 

We've agreed to keep trying.

Pray for my sanity.

If I have any left.

Confessions of a TTC Lunatic

 

•sometimes I come on this website when I can’t sleep and flag all the spam one by one and I’m like COME ON PEOPLE NO ONE IS GOING TO SUBSCRIBE TO YOUR WEBCAM/ NOKIA/ SEXY PILL/ INSURANCE PROMOTION ON A PREGNANCY SITE LEAVE US IN PEACE then I cry

• since my first and only ever pregnancy ended in miscarriage I’ve been having these dreams where I find out I’m pregnant again- and THEN MISCARRY AGAIN

• I stalk the hashtag #stylethebump on Instagram when I’m on the bus instead of reading actual articles that will make me smarter

• none of the blissfully pregnant #stylethebump women seem to take the bus or have dry skin or cluttered homes but they all have radiantly white teeth and hand painted signs in their home with simple instructions like “relax” and “breathe“ (pretty sure those words are English but I don’t understand them lol)

• I feel like a snaggle-toothed barren rat living living off of discarded glue factory remnants under a putrescent bridge, whose arid womb no ratling  shall grace  

 

tah dah 

 

 

Do you see what I see??? Positive or crazy?

I feel like I’m going insane. Took 3 tests within about 3 hours of each other. The first test I took (at 6pm), I didn’t see the line until 20 minutes after taking- as I walked away from it. So I took another one at about 7:30pm, that line showed up in about a minute. The third test, around 9:20pm, was taken with very diluted sample but it showed up at about 7-8 minutes after taking. All of the urine samples I used were pretty clear compared to FMU (which I probably should have used). I’m currently 11-12DPO. Are these positive?? 

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