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Trying-to-Conceive Blog

taliarenee's blog

7 years ttc recurrent miscarriages and chemical pregnancy. Bfn after bfp

12dpo bfn on ic and frer after multiple bfaintp on ic and frer yesterday.

This was my last cycle on clomid unfortunately, so I feel as though this was my last chance. 

Faint Bfp Ttc 7+ years and 4th cycle on clomid 11dpo BFP after miscarriage in February.

4th cycle on clomid

11dpo BFaintP after miscarriage on my first clomid cycle.

12dpo - 7years ttc and first cycle after chemical. Round 2 of clomid.

Bfn every day of my life unless it's a big fat miscarriage.

Bfn 12dpo on sensitive 10miu/ml

 

Trying out spazzle's blog two week wait smoothie recipe

I used all ingredients except spinach and honey (veganism) because I had finished off my spinach in a salad. I also didn't follow measurements but regardless I made a yummy smoothie.

And to give credit where credit is due and a shout out to a very interesting blogger Spazzle. Thanks for sharing your journey.

http://www.twoweekwait.com/node/59993

2dpo with Pcos 2nd round clomid** first cycle after chemical pregnancy

I torture myself with YouTube videos of 13-16 year olds pregnant vlogs.

Girls, if your babies have babies at the same age you did, then you'll be a grandma at my age. Get it girl.

As negative as I am, and as bitter as I've been for years even if you are terrible parents at 14 years old, have no idea what life is like, and its really your parents problem to raise you and your babies- I'm happy god willed you a family and you didn't experience this shit.

This is no way to live. I'm so fed up obsessing over my fertility. I'm not sure how much longer I can "try too hard" when it's "not meant to be"

Why did I think I would ever have my own family. I had a terrible childhood with a drug abusing mother and pedophile step father, and neither of them worked. We lived off of child support and I was often drugged by my own mother with Xanax, Ambien, tylenol pm. I've been in halfway homes, foster homes and finally into my grandparents custody after 16 years old.

I survived and worked hard to become the person I am today. And I am proud of who I have become. I can take care of myself but I'm lucky enough to have an amazing husband who takes care of me and I take care of him. I've worked since I was 16, finished school and have not relyed on anyone since. I learned important coping methods and learned from my mother's mistakes. I always thought I'd be an amazing mother. But being let down and disappointed has never ended.

 

I've never really had low self-esteem before, I'm a somewhat confident person but the last 2 or 3 years of ttc (out of 7) has really wore me out. 

Clomid 2nd round after 1st round chemical pregnancy

Clomid Cd 5-9, currently Cd 10 after chemical pregnancy. Not trying to have a pitty party here but I'm not nearly as excited about this cycle. I want to be excited but I can't find any sort of optimistic outlook. I was so sure last month was my month, and for a very short while it really was. I am still more upset then I really want to be about it, I want to be as chill and confident and stress free as last month. 

This sucks it's really sad and I am letting myself be in a crappy mood. I'm letting it be crappy and I am accepting the situation so I can let it go. I am grateful that my body got pregnant and I am so grateful to have my husband who is my rock.

Chemical pregnancy after ttc 7 years with PCOS on clomid

CD 28 (12dpo) bfp

CD 29 (13dpo)hcg beta 21, progesterone 21.7

CD 33 (17dpo) hcg beta 14

CD 35 (19dpo)full force af

I've been told to count CD 35 as CD 1 and take Clomid CD 5-9 with progesterone blood work at 7dpo.... just a repeat of last month basically.

How emotionally draining this clomid cycle + early miscarriage has been. I'm in a terrible miserable mood. I feel bipolar. I feel bad for my husband. He has to deal with me.

Last cycles optimistic outlook has completely vanished.

And I don't know how many more times I will hear maybe I'm "trying to hard" before I make a scene and be a complete lunatic.

Bfp after 7 years ttc pink spotting and cramps

So it's 18dpo and I made it till bed time and now I'm spotting some pink clear mucus after some cramps that started about 2 hours prior, during spare room rearranging.

Praying I get to keep this one I've waited and worked so many years for.

15 dpo bfp line not progressing.

In order top to bottom 

12 dpo smu

13 dpo smu

15 dpo 2 howh hold pm

16dpo fmu

Not progressing? Or even lighter after 13 dpo?

 

I've gotten my hcg beta results after ttc 7 years with PCOS

I'm stressed and upset...I waited what seemed like forever. 2 week wait doesn't have shit on the waiting time for appointments and results so far.

I'm 15dpo.

I had a betahcg and progesterone drawn on 13dpo and now (2 days later) I finally have the results for both of those.

21 hcg

21.7 progesterone

Low hcg? Why so low? And my progesterone dropped from 40(7dpo)to 21(13dpo), why?  

 

I  hope this poppy seed grows as it should. I really need it to stay around until October... I'm worried about the numbers being too low...

I have an appointment and repeat blood work in 5 days. Here's hoping for bigger numbers.... I want this baby more then I've wanted anything.

 

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