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Trying-to-Conceive Blog

spazzle's blog

Lady in Waiting

I find myself, once again, a lady in waiting!

Despite all the confusion with the multiple days of positive opks, I feel really sure that I ovulated late in the day on cd 17 based on all my signs and the fact that my cm has completely dried up / my symptoms are gone. I haven't been doing opks long, but I've been charting plenty long enough to know to trust my body on this one. I would even admit that possibly O happened shortly after midnight on the morning of cd 18, which might explain why my LH levels hadn't completely dropped when I tested yesterday. I went to the Dollar Tree this morning to grab a couple more opks and they were completely out, so I took that as a sign. Stop with opks, Spazzle, the wait has begun! :) We'll try to get one more dtd in tonight, just in case, but otherwise I'm not going to worry about it.

All that being said, I'm 1 - 2 dpo and feeling really great. Yesterday I woke up early, got a TON of stuff done: 3,000 words on my new novel; took a break to clean and ended up scrubbing the baseboards for a while only to end up scrubbing the tile grout of half my kitchen floor; made a scrumptious dinner; wrote some more. I have no idea where all that focus and energy came from.  DH and I didn't dtd, but we were both exhausted, and as much as we want this I'm not willing to force us to dtd when I know we'd both rather just cuddle and fall asleep together. We dtd on cd 16 and 17, though, so hopefully those swimmers really did channel their inner Michael Phelps this time around. ;) 

My plans to make it through this wait unscathed: 1) continue my yoga workouts during the first thirty mins of my lunch hour each day; this has made an amazing change in my stress levels, and it really gives me that midday boost, 2) help DH clean out one of the extra bedrooms (which is currently just, idk, a junk room, lol) so that we can paint and know that it's ready when we get that bfp, 3) work on finding a good balance to stay on top of chores around the house, because I know after a little one comes I'll be glad I have some semblance of a routine / crock pot meal repetoire to work with, and 4) picking up something new to read: I'm thinking Bluebeard by Vonnegut (already on my shelf) and 100 Years of Solitude by Garcia Marquez (because I simply adore his fantastical world). I'm going to try my very best not to test until AF is due, which is March 15th. I think this will be the best way to keep my positivity for the longest amount of time and also keep me from obsessing about accuracy and percentages at X dpo.

Where are my other ladies in waiting? What are your plans to get through this tww? When are you hoping to test?

As always, may your beans be sticky and your symptoms be for real this time. ;)

7 cycles ttc - 8 cycles off bcp - cd 19 - 1-2dpo 

 

P.S. I uploaded a fun picture to remind us all to laugh a little. ;) Hopefully none of us return to the dreaded cd 1. 

 

3rd +opk? A truckload of baby dust to anyone who can tell me what's going on here.

 

 

 

 

I'm sure you're all a bit tired of looking at my opk progression, but I need your collective knowledge and wisdom to help me figure this out.

I got a strong positive on cd 16. It was the only day the test line was noticeably darker than the control. I had O pains yesterday on my right side. Got an "almost positive" but not quite as positive. Today's test was equally as "almost positive" as yesterday's! I'm getting a little confused. Today I had a few little pinches on my left side. Nothing noteworthy in the cm department. 

This did not happen at all last cycle. It went up and down quickly. I have a ridiculous fear that in ovulated from both sides, but that's just absurd, right? We dtd cd 16 and 17, might try for tonight too given this confusing LH pattern. 

Would you chart cd 18 as a positive opk, based on the picture? Any insight into this? 

Thanks as always, ladies. 

Two Days +opk Question

 

 

 

I got my bold positive opk result yesterday. Today's is lighter but still positive. FF still predicts my O will be today despite the second positive. Based on my other signs, I agree with it. Can anyone confirm or deny? I'm only on my second month of opk.

Just when I think I have it all figured out... lol. 

Thanks, ladies. :)

Happy Ovulation Day!

My ovaries have spoken, and I'm laying an egg today! Positive opk yesterday, followed by pretty distinct ovulation pains today. I think I'm ovulating from my right side this month, which is kind of unusual for me, so that's exciting! Probably by this afternoon I will have officially ovulated. The swimmers are in position, hopefully to be joined by reinforcements soon. Haha. 

Does anyone ever have O pains switch from side to side in the same fertile window? Sometimes I worry I'm double -ovulating... lol. 

I know I'm being silly, lately, but better laughing than worrying, right? 

Since I now have an office I've been working out for the first thirty minutes of my lunch hour. I haven't been in better shape since I first started dating my husband. Gonna rock swimsuit season, pregnant or not, lol. My zen levels are also at a ttc high. Starting the tww tomorrow. Anyone with me? :D

Good luck, ladies! 

7 cycles ttc - 8 cycles off bcp - cd 17 - O day!

Doing the +opk happy dance!

 

 

 

I've been bringing my opks to work with me this cycle so I can test in the afternoon, since last cycle I only caught the tail end of my LH spike by testing in the mornings. This plan has worked, because I just got my big, bold positive opk AND a ton of slippery cm! Seriously could not be happier. 

I also just found out that DH has wine and cupcakes waiting for me at home, so I'm assuming that means he's in the mood for romance. How perfect is that?!

I'm proud of my positive opk the way a dog is proud of that dead squirrel he found in the yard: nobody really cares to see it, but I'm excited so I'll show it to you anyway. ;)

Anyone else ready for O? Anyone else thinking positive? 

Peace, luck,  & baby dust. 

7 cycles ttc - 8 cycles off bcp - cd 16

Late-night panic

What if I don't have a baby by now because the universe thinks I'll be a terrible mother? 

I know plenty of people who are terrible mothers and clearly they got to have kids, but what if I don't? I don't think I'll be a bad mother, but what if I am? What if I can't handle it?

I will (hopefully) wake up and realize this is ridiculous. I'm patient and kind and I love building people up. I'm empathetic. I've worked with children. But those things don't guarantee you a child, do they? 

Sigh. 

I'm just crashing after a long day, I think. Things will look better tomorrow. 

I love opks, and other stories

With my first faint test line on the opk comes the return of my excitement about this cycle!  Yesterday's test was stark white and just too reminiscent of all those bfns I got right before AF came and put me out of my misery, but just seeing the faint line today has rekindled my hope!  I kind of also wonder if my  changing hormones don't have a little something to do with this boost, but I'm not complaining. 

I read through some of my old blog posts, and it really reminded me how far I've come and how I have to make the choice to be positive; I can't just sit around moping and expect positivity to fall into my lap. So I took some deep breaths and did a few stretches (as much as is appropriate in the office) and reminded myself to count my blessings. Today is a good day. This month is as good as any to hope for a miracle. Let's do this!  :D

You know how they say life is a journey, not a destination? Ttc is like that too. I'm always trying to find little ways to keep perspective. During this journey I've learned tons about my body and I've spent lots of time with my husband. One day, in the craziness of kids and pets and work and life, I'll look back and have a "remember when" moment: remember when it was just me and him? Just us. When we always got enough sleep. When we could have sex on the kitchen table if we wanted to. I'm really trying to embrace the journey and have faith I'll get where I'm going in good time.

 

I wish you positive opks and strong swimmers! 

7 cycles ttc - 8 cycles off bcp - cd 13

Let's Get Down to Business

The fertile window is opening once again,  which means it's time for peeing on opks,   praying for ewcm, and, of course, getting busy in the bedroom (or wherever the mood strikes you, I suppose, if you're feeling adventurous). It's arguably the best week of the entire cycle. I'm hoping that this is indeed cycle lucky 7. With my hormones on the rise, I'm also hoping to get out of this funk in the next few days. 

Had to pay a ton for unexpected car maintenance today, so that helped make my opk decision for me, and I went with the cheapies. I couldn't bear the thought of spending any more large sums of money. Haha. Just tested negative on my first day of testing, but I'm expecting ovulation between days 16 - 18.

Here's to hoping. 

7 cycles ttc - 8 cycles off bcp - cd 12

 

7-month Slump

 

 

 

 

 

I think I'm experiencing the 7-month slump. We've been at this for a while, and I'm feeling kind of blah. I've had less interest in my charts than ever, and I've been lazy about ordering my opks. Most of the time I feel like I kind of just don't give a shit anymore, which is stupid to say because I know if I see AF again I'll have no one to blame but myself if I don't put in a little effort and try. I can't expect a miracle if I'm not even willing to try. 

Give me a few days. I might see ewcm and perk right up. I'm just starting to feel like it might be a long time before I see a positive. I could never have imagined still being here past six months. It's been a learning experience, but at some point I need all this knowledge to work out for me. I think I'm also just tired, because I just got a promotion and I'm trying to get in the swing of things. Maybe a weekend to recharge my batteries and reconnect with dh will do the trick. 

The closer we get to a year, the more nervous I feel, despite the fact I know tons of beautiful babies that took longer than a year to make. I'm not in a hurry, but damn if this slump isn't getting the best of me. 

Tell me about your ttc milestones. Have you passed any points that you never thought you'd reach? How did you bounce back? 

Peace and luck. 

7 cycles ttc - 8 cycles off bcp - cd 10

Opk dilemma

I'm going to continue to use opk this month, but I'm conflicted about what kind and how much I want to spend. Last month I decided late in the game and didn't have time to order any digitals, so I used the store brand opk and got good results! Now that I have time to be choosy, I can't decide if I want to spend money on the digitals or just get some cheapie opks. I didn't really mind reading the lines. I think I actually liked seeing the lines go darker and then get light after O. Is that weird? Lol. I guess it's just nice to pee on a test that's actually positive once in a while.

Also, does anyone have experience with dollar tree opks? Are they reliable? 

Peace & luck, ladies. 

7 cycles ttc - 8 cycles off bcp - cd 6 

 

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