Good Morning Ladies!
I am back with good/bad news depending on how you look at it... I am trying my best to stay positive but it's difficult. The results came back from my fertility tests and all levels were good for the point in my cycle that they estimated I was at (this is somewhat difficult given the lack of AF). "Well that's fantastic news" I hear you say? Hmm, only fantastic were there any logical reason why I am not having periods, ergo not ovulating, and not getting pregnant!
Unfortunately, one of my swabs came back positive for BV which is apparently due to the body multiplying bad bacteria instead of good because of the hormonal inbalance causing the absense of AF. This isn't too bad news as I am apparently in the 'aysymptomatic' group which does not affect pregnancy and it can be cleared up by a small course of antibiotics.
I spoke with the Dr who explained that due to the lack of AF and because there is no obvious reason for it provided by my bloodwork, she was going to refer US to the fertility specialist at our local hospital. Note the 'us' means both me and the hubby... this means she won't refer us until he has done his SA. This is quite deflating seeing as it is clearly me which is the main problem currently but more so because my hubby is self employed and in order to complete his SA it involves him pretty much having a half day off work. Our local lab is nearly an hour away and therefore it means him making his deposit, travelling the entire way there and back and all on a week day because they aren't open on evenings and weekends. :0( Talk about fighting a losing battle. If he does not work we don't get paid simple as and like I've said before - baby needs money!
So, once I can get my hubby to take the morning off to do his SA and we get the results back, it's onto the next chapter I guess.
Which leads me quite nicely to my point at the beginning about this being a difficult one to call as to whether it's bad or good news.
I'm normally a glass half full kind of person, which my brain would ordinarily say; "hey, at least you know your hormones are right, you just need to find the next piece of the puzzle that fits and you can be on your merry way to making a baby".
But this just doesn't quite cut it for my current mind state which is swaying further towards the glass half empty way of thinking; "oh, so there's actually nothing wrong with me, no logical reason why I am not ovulating and therefore not having AF. Furthermore, there is going to be just waiting, waiting, waiting until the SA is done / the results are back / we get referred / we get an appointment / we go to an appointment etc... Only for them to possibly tell me that we should keep trying until the 1 year mark (A stark possibility according to the Dr, because of the bitter sweet reasoning that 'I'm still young')."
Life's like a 'car park, come maze'; where you enter and are desperately trying to seek the correct path, whilst symultaneaously battling those ridiculously giant speedbumps that you're just certain are going to wreck your car one of these days, but equally somehow managing to pass each one without any idea of the next direction your are going to take. FUN.
From here, I have no idea where to go, I am praying that I do not get told to wait until a year has passed - personally I don't see the logic there whereby I would understand completely if I were having regular cycles, but since I'm not, I would really hope they might see that they at least offer me a fighting chance at making our family.
I wish all of you your BFP's this month, looks like I'm unlikely to get mine for a while yet. But hey, anything can happen (oh, there's some of that optimism in me... there must be some left!)
Good Luck and Much Love and Baby Dust to all xxxx