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Trying-to-Conceive Blog

Trying-to-Conceive Blog

If you’re anything like me, you’re reading everything you can get your hands on when it comes to trying to get pregnant. Thank goodness for the Internet – I don’t know how anyone got pregnant before the advent of personal computing….

We have a place here on TWW for ladies to tell their BFP stories, as well as a spot for submitting their symptoms to determine if they might be pregnant. We have a wonderful TTC community where you can get valuable support and ask questions. But until now, we didn’t have a spot for the detailed monologue of your trying to conceive experience.

Introducing the Two Week Wait Trying-to-Conceive Blog. This is where you can create your very own blog of your TTC experience—every detail, blow by blow. Note that you’ll need to create an account with us first in order to create your blog. It’s free, of course. That’s how we roll here at TWW.  *there is a 24 hour waiting period on new accounts before you'll be able to start posting to your new blog.  In the meantime, have a look around and get to know the site!

Happy blogging!

TWW 5 dpo

who else is in the TWW??!?!? 

Today’s the day

i had a positive ovu test today so it’s treatment day. My partner can’t be with and I’m super nervous and emotional about this. I know it can’t be helped. Plus my work we’re really off about it all this time made me feel bad for wanting to go.

5 weeks and 2 days

So far so good. I haven’t had many symptoms yet. I do cramp light during the day and at night i get AF cramps( my cramps are pretty hard) and everytime i get up to use the restroom i pray i see no blood. I also have been eating a lot! I try to control it bc i stoped going to the gym (scared to work out in 1 trimester). And i feel myself gaining weight.

So far I’ve told my partners family and as well as mine. And about 8 friends including my partner‘s friends. 

First prenatal appt is next wed and I’m sooo excited and nervous!!!! I don’t know what to expect.  

IVF seminar in Melbourne tonight

Hi guys,  itd been a while since ive posted but just thought id drop and and say hi to everyone . really  excited because im taking two girlfriends to an ivf seminar in Melbourne  tonight (monash ivf glen waverly)  as we are all really interested to go.  Each friend has just recently had surgery for their endometriosis ... one as recently as last Wednesday and the other 3 weeks ago,   so i am driving them both in and we are all looking forward to going and getting some good information.  Its nice to do this together as we have all been in the ttc trenches  together for years. Anyway just really looking forward to it with them and being their support. 

How is everyone else doing lately?  Trying anything new? Sperm meets egg program? changing up your diet or vitamins or bd schedule? Taking a ttc holiday somewhere romantic maybe?  

Hope everyones well. 

Love alexandra

Hoping for an BFP

I ovulated last Monday-Wednesday and I had sex on all 3 days no I’m 5-6dpo this morning I had brown spotting just enough for an pantieliner with lil to no cramps my cycle isn’t do til next Wednesday what do you guys think

Back the the Old Drawing Board: Life After Miscarriage

Dear Fellow Trenchmates

Most of the posts I see on Two Week Wait in the section where I submit my blog entries are "fertility cure" spam which is major reader-deterrent (heads up TWW admin, time for some spring cleaning!) but even the 3 thoughtful comments users have left me- minus the ad for miracle supplements- have brought enormous comfort. So, here's my latest message in a bottle. 

It looks like my natural miscarriage at 7 weeks is drawing to a close. There's now barely any spotting left when I wipe, though when I pee on a Femometer pregnancy strip a medium-pink positive line still stares back at me. This feels like insult upon injury, but I'm trying to stay kind towards my body since it doesn't know any better and is, for all intents and purposes, just doing it's job.

All told, the bleeding and intermittent contractions lasted for 8 days. I won't go into details about the "content" I "ejected," but an image Google of "miscarriage 7 weeks" conveniently reveals everything you'll never want to see again. The experience made me realize what a disconnect there is between how I visualize my body's functions and what they actually look like. The tidy, pink representations in textbook diagrams are just an illustrator's polite interpretation of our bodies' gory truth. 

I took black cohosh supplements every few hours for the first couple of days of bleeding to help ripen my cervix, which really did speed matters along. I also took evening primrose and a homeopathic "women's balance" tincture in hopes of calming my furious hormones. Beyond that, I just tried to keep busy with work because the alternative of holing up and sobbing non-stop only made sense for the first couple of days, and after that I just wanted whatever taste of normalcy I could get. My partner and friends have been invaluable throughout this mess. They really showed up, and not everyone does in this life, you know?

The thought of starting our TTC journey again from scratch is not especially enticing, but I'll be damned if I give up now. Got my box of "fertility stuff" ready to go (as seen above) and am trying to see the bigger picture at this point:

- my body will return to it's unpregnant state

- ovulation is presumably just around the corner, and then another, and another...

- crazier things have happened in the history of mankind than getting pregnant and carrying to term following a miscarriage

Etc, etc, etc.

But there are some intense fears lurking in the wings too:

- what if the next BFP takes another year and then, wose yet, doesn't stick? Am I prepared to face the agony of miscarriage again, or possibly many multiple times?

- am I spinning my wheels for nothing? Could there be an undiagnosed condition in my body that led to this miscarriage and will lead to others? I did everything by the book, so am I an idiot for not barging into a reproductive endocrinologist's office already? 

And, well, you get the idea. Doubt is a bitch. 

It's hard not to be shell shocked in the wake of a pregnancy loss, but I'm in my late 30's so I can't exactly take a year off to contemplate all that's happened. I'll have to contemplate all that's happened while I actively try to conceive again. Yay, there's that eternal package deal: trauma and hope.

Bottom line, we women are warriors. We can- and will- survive anything.  



12dpo - 7years ttc and first cycle after chemical. Round 2 of clomid.

Bfn every day of my life unless it's a big fat miscarriage.

Bfn 12dpo on sensitive 10miu/ml


Hell, or something like it

I regret telling people we were doing ivf. I thought it would be nice to have support leading up to it and then if things didn't work out, like they didn't. But "support" as we know can come in many forms, most of which aren't helpful. Then all that support you thought you'd want becomes a burden.

My mom has taken to sending me things she's googled everyday. "I read the key is the vitamins, herbs, AND acupuncture." Because I'd already told her all the fancy supplements people swear work in a mere 3 months did not work, not even over the YEARS I bought them. Now she's telling me attitude is half the battle and that I need to "unblock my energy channels" and do more yoga (which I do every day, and have for 3 years). While I love yoga and have considered acupuncture for my overall wellbeing (ya know, since I'm crying multiple times a day and barely getting out of bed), these things are not a cure all. It's not like I'm not pregnant because my energy channels are blocked. It's almost as bad as "just relax". I want to scream, "Let me assure you, if I could just relax and get pregnant, I would do it. I would do it a thousand times before spending all this gd money and going through medical hell. I promise." It's not like someone gets cancer and you tell them to just relax and take some vitamins and unblock their fucking energy channels. I've just stopped responding. I know, truly I know, that my mom is trying to help. And this is the only way she knows how to try to help. But I am about this ( ) close to sending her, "Ya know, maybe I should just quit my job and live on govt assistance and eat McDonalds three times a day so I can have not one but TWO kids just like (insert name of one of my brother's crap baby mommas)." My friend told me that I shouldn't send it, that it would come across wrong. But really, truly, WHY am I always accomodating people?! I'm the one sitting over here on the wrong side of this fucked up parallel universe. I am TIRED of giving a fuck. I am close to discontinuing communication with literally everyone. No texts. No snaps. No carrier pigeons. I hate feeling alone but all this misguided "support" makes me feel way more alone, so at this point isn't it better to just tell everyone to leave me the fuck alone? I'm not pregnant. I don't want to talk about it like it's some super easy fixable thing. I HATE IT. I hate that apparently for everyone this is the easiest thing in the world and I HATE that everyone just acts like "oh something must be wrong with you" and I HATE that all these stupid idiot people are running around with kids they don't take care of and I HATE that nobody understands that I hate it. All of it.

We're trying to regroup and in a few weeks we're going to try to figure out the money thing and schedule our final FET. But then what? It won't work and people will sit around telling us if only we had done acupuncture and taken some vitamins? I am really beginning to question my ability to deal with this shit anymore. Yesterday I sat at work and contemplated how much leave I would get if I just decided to have a complete nervous breakdown. I know people care about us and I don't mean to sound ungrateful but FUCK. I need the universe to cut me a tiny bit of slack. Just a sliver. Because I am breaking into pieces and I surprise surprise I'm crying in public. Again. 

(Dh and I do have some plans to do stuff for us and not feel like such shit. I don't mean this whole thing to sound like we aren't trying to get though it. I'm just very frustrated with pretty much everyone and everything else. The only people who might understand that part of it are here, so that's why I'm putting it here.)

Anyway. Yeah.

Day 10 scan

tomorrow is my day 10 scan after my clomid cycle. I am super nervous but trying to stay positive. And i decided to throw changing jobs into the mix of starting a new cycle. 

Fingers crossed and baby dust to all xx

Am I pregnant

I took a CVS early results test at 12 dpo for a 28 day cycle. It showed a super faint line on a blue dye test, but my first response, taken on 14 dpo was negative. Am I pregnant?