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Trying-to-Conceive Blog

Trying-to-Conceive Blog

If you’re anything like me, you’re reading everything you can get your hands on when it comes to trying to get pregnant. Thank goodness for the Internet – I don’t know how anyone got pregnant before the advent of personal computing….

We have a place here on TWW for ladies to tell their BFP stories, as well as a spot for submitting their symptoms to determine if they might be pregnant. We have a wonderful TTC community where you can get valuable support and ask questions. But until now, we didn’t have a spot for the detailed monologue of your trying to conceive experience.

Introducing the Two Week Wait Trying-to-Conceive Blog. This is where you can create your very own blog of your TTC experience—every detail, blow by blow. Note that you’ll need to create an account with us first in order to create your blog. It’s free, of course. That’s how we roll here at TWW.  *there is a 24 hour waiting period on new accounts before you'll be able to start posting to your new blog.  In the meantime, have a look around and get to know the site!

Happy blogging!

PIC ATTACHED- How faint can a BFP be on FRER??!!

ladies, I need some help. how faint have your very first BFP lines been in an FRER test? I took one this afternoon (I know FMU is better, but I couldn’t help myself!) and I swear I can see a line, but if I were to just look fast, I probably wouldn’t see it. Does that sound Possible? Or is even the faintest of BFP lines obviously there and not something to squint at? Any advise or pictures would really help me. I know I need to test again and plan to wait until Thursday morning, but I probably can’t wait that long lol. 

I drew little Markers where I saw the line, do you see anything or am I absolutely crazy??

CA-125

It sounds like a bad sci-fi movie, but is apparently a marker used to detect certain types of cancer. Research has shown that a subset of women with endometriosis also show elevated levels. I'm pretty sure I don't have cancer and I really hope I don't have endometriosis, so I am hoping my blood tests show levels under 30 both times. Today is cd3 and I made it to the hospital just in time to have blood taken. My periods are very short these days. The third day is usually already very light and this cycle was no exception, so I hope cd3 will give a good enough answer.

I return to the doctor in two weeks to hear the results and discuss further course of action. Maybe if I'm feeling brave I'll ask if I can be on the waiting list for donor sperm. I can get it from a sperm bank abroad as soon as I want, but I think it can't hurt to expand my options.

I have decided against a known donor. I really don't want any personal involvement with a donor. Open donation is mandatory here, so I know my child would always have the opportunity to meet their biological father when they are older. For me that feels right.

An article in the local newspaper struck me this week. In my area there is a need for an additional 3500! foster parents. Especially crisis placement has a big shortage. I'm hardly a perfect parent, but no child should have to go to a children's home. No matter how nice these places are, it is not as good as a family environment. I have done apprenticeships in a few, so I have some idea. I feel strongly that I should apply. They may well reject me for being a single mum with health problems, but it can't hurt to try.

TTC & TWW

Hello ladies, my partner and i have been ttc for the past couple months now after loosing our first baby 2 years ago. But so far no luck :( . Every month we try something new, like last month during O we have tried making love every other day leading up to the day of O, the day of O and after. We were really hopefull but then AF visited. So this month (November) i started O on the 6th and my actual ovulation day was on the 10th. So my partner and i decided to start early and we bd on the 3rd,4th,5th and then again on the 6th when my O started. We made love every day i was ovulating including the 10th (day of O) and the following 2 days after just so we could be sure we covered all the possible fertile days and then some. i am currently 2 DPO and i have been experiencing these little cramp/twinge pains in my right side, as well as odd cramps in my abdomin but nothing severe or painful. i am also very wet (sorry tmi) down there so it leaves me questioning if we have succeeded in trying to concieve, because usally after O i tend to dry up down there. (sorry again if tmi) i also find myself going to the bathroom alot more frequently then i used to, and i wake up alot through the night. But i know these pregnancy sypmtons dont usually show till later on in pregnancy. So i feel like i am back to playing the guessing game and it drives me nuts!! i am just hoping for the BFP <3

We have been hoping to become pregnant for awhile now and i feel like i get my hopes up every month during the TWW.  if any of you ladies have any suggestions, tips, pointers or are going through the same thing i am please feel free to post away! and good luck to all you ladies out there TTC!! babydust to you all <3

 

Is this a very faint bfp or a cruel evap line??

I have been stalking this site for 3 years trying to keep sane!! My husband and I are waiting to qualify for IVF on the NHS and have never had even a hint of a bfp! 

We have had tests done including a HyCoSy where they checked my womb and fallopian tubes which came back normal with both tubes open. My husband has great everything apart from morphology issues. 

So we have been trying for exactly 3 years now. I have been using cheapies to test and they all keep coming up with a faint line that looks like an evap line so I am assuming the whole batch of tests is faulty. I had one other branded test left which I just took and a faint line showed on it as well. I just really need some opinions if I am getting my hopes up for no reason :( I have attached a photo of the test. The line appeared in approx 5min but not sure if this too is an evap line....*sighs* 

What do you ladies think? I think I am about 10dpo maybe 11dpo. Is that far too light for 11dpo?

2 days late

My luteal phase is never longer than 12 days except for the cycle in which I am getting testing done of course. Two days late and my period started just before bed, which has also never happened to me before. Lucky me that cd2 is now on Sunday, so I have to get blood drawn for the ca-125 test on Monday when I already have to go to playgroup with my toddler and have a skype meeting for court. I'm also having another migraine attack and I'm really hoping it will be over by then. At least there is progress.

BFP after 41 cycles, at the age of 43!

So, I've been silently stalking this site for some time, looking for inspiration and to help keep my hopes up, and I told myself if I ever was blessed with another BFP, I'd share MY story too, in hopes it will help someone else in similar circumstances:

When our DD was about 18 mos old, I found out at the age of 40, I had a BFP and I was SO excited! DH at the time was NOT. :-( My first sono appt did not go the way it went with DD and I learned a new term that would devastate me: "blighted ovum." So of course I googled it when I got home from the Dr's office and it didn't sound good at all. The image on the screen at that appointment was a ring with nothing inside of it. The poor tech suggested perhaps I just wasn't as far along as I thought I was, and that the baby was just too small to detect and excused herself to go have a word with my Dr. When she returned he came with her, and after he tried to find a fetal pole without success, they asked me to get dressed and meet him back in his office. He said the same thing the tech said, that perhaps I just wasn't as far along as I though I was and had ovulated later, or, sometimes, especially with women of my "advanced maternal age," these things just happen, and a chromosomal abnormality occurs. He advised I go home and relax and come back in 2 wks for another look-see, but did mention the possibility of said blighted ovum. I had all the classic symptoms, so I KNEW I was preggo before I even POAS: fatigue, sensitivity to smell, and just didn't feel like AF was on the way. About 6 DPO, I developed a metallic taste in my mouth, which was a symptom I never had with DD, and read it wasn't necessarily a bad thing, so tried to remain optimistic. A few days before my appt, I began to bleed a little and had a really uncomfortable cramp in my lower abdomen, but the bleeding was what really scared me and I knew something was terribly wrong, so I returned to the OB's office as a walk-in. He wasn't there so another Dr saw me and said the baby had stopped growing, and my uterus was beginning to feel soft. My heart sank and I cried uncontrollably. I tried so hard to be tough about it because I knew I wasn't the 1st and wouldn't be the last to go through this gut-wrenching ordeal, but at my age, I felt like it was possibly my last chance to conceive and it wasn't viable. DNC followed, and after a month of the emotional roller coaster ride, I was determined to just eat healthier, as I was already working out 5 days/wk, so decided maybe I needed to take it a little easier on that too? I was really thinking following the DNC, it'd be about 3 -6 mos and I'd have another BFP...nope...so after a year, I went to see a Fertility specialist and they checked my day 21 hormone levels and said they thought I was on like day 23 or 24 and to try testing again the following month. So I did, and the levels were "borderline." After riding the fence on taking Vitex, I decided to go for it and see what happened? Pre-AF spotting ceased, so I really liked that benefit of the Vitex, but still no BFP. Had another day 21 test, and my levels looked better though! Another year passed, and I chalked it up to stress in my personal life. During that time, I decided church was missing from my life, despite having been praying since my loss, for another chance. So I re-established my faith and focused more on that, appreciating my amazing little DD, and just figured if I focused more on getting my pre-DD figure back and eating healthier, then maybe along the way, I'd get my BFP, since I wasn't as obsessed over achieving it as I initially was. I really felt the proverbial "clock" ticking LOUDLY, as I knew I was no spring chicken, even though I was getting back into the shape I had been in 8 yrs before! I made an account on Fertility Friend and started journaling everything, and that helped, emotionally. Several times I thought "THIS is my month!" but AF would turn out to just be 3 days late....witch! lol Finally, we resigned ourselves into adoption (which is still not off the table...) Some mos, she'd arrive on CD 24, and others CD 31, but for the most part, I was averaging her arrival on CD27, and figured, well, despite my age, if AF is still arriving monthly, I can't be COMPLETELY out? So I went back to the Drs to make sure my tubes weren't blocked and to check the condition of my uterus - tubes were fine, but I had "mild" endometriosis. NOT a comfortable test to submit to and DH never worked up the gumption to have himself checked out, insisting if it's meant to be, it'll be....meanwhile, new friends and old friends were going on to have all these beautiful babies, and as much as I love my friends and wanted to be happy for them, it just made me feel like everyone ELSE was going to have as many beautiful, healthy babies as they wanted, some having extra "surprise" BFPs they hadn't planned on, while I was having to face the facts of my age and how it affects our biology. We ADORE our DD, but she too has been watching all her friends go on to have siblings and started to ask when SHE was going to get to become a big sister? Not easy to explain to a 3-4 yr old....ultimately, we told her it's up to God and to just pray for it. So she did! Still no BFP...well, we're getting ready to move and start a whole new chapter in life, and I started feeling really dizzy and more tired than usual, but chalked it up to seasonal allergies (congested nose, sinus headaches, mild pressure in my ears) causing the dizzy spells, and I've read progesterone levels around the time of AF can cause some dizziness too. So even though that's never personally been a pre-AF symptom for me, I figured it was just a new one this time. Well, AF didn't arrive the day she was due. I wondered about the dizzy spells and lack of insistence for chocolate, lol, but thought, "Nah...how many times have you been down this road, getting all excited, only to have AF show up late?" And after so many BFN's from POAS, I decided I'd rather wait to see if she showed up late than to stare at another BFN. So, I waited 3 days, and nothing. I felt different, and DH told me at 2 days late, I was BFP. He hated seeing what I went through with the MMC and was scared of me getting another BFP in case it turned out the same way, and didn't want to see me go through it again, but he too started to wish that one had turned out with happier results, so his compromise was not to actively try, just not to do anything to prevent it from happening. We had BOTH been working out together, eating healthier, and then in the past few mos, HE started praying for a BFP for us as well. So, at 2 days late, I had very faint, brown spotting after emptying my bladder and figured, "see, this is just like all the other mos..." But at 3 days late, we stopped at the $ Tree on our way home from errands and picked up 2 tests - I knew bloody well I wouldn't be able to wait for FMU to test, so once we got home, I tested...was so nervous about being disappointed once again, my hands were shaking! So when that 2nd pink line began to emerge, I was like "OMGoodness, REALLY?????!!!??" When I told him, he smiled and said, "See, what'd I tell you? I was already celebrating yesterday when I told you that you were! :-D" So now I'm about 5wks, and my 1st Dr's appt to confirm isn't until 3 days from now, so it's hard to just be "cautiously optimistic," when we've waited for what has seemed like SO long. I haven't had "real" am sickness this early in, but certain smells I've normally enjoyed have elicited a gag reflex from me already, 1 causing me to dry heave. I didn't have that with my DD until I was about 8 or 9 wks along and that was the extent of my morning sickness with her. So, I definitely want my progesterone levels monitored this first trimester with this one, and hoping and praying we'll get to see not only a sticky bean whenever we have the 1st sono appt, but I'll be 6 wks a day before our Wedding Anniversary, and can't think of a better gift than to see and hear that beautiful little beating heart! So, even though we're very early in with this one, we certainly didn't think it was going to happen. Not that we completely gave up hope, but were just bracing for the reality of the statistics of parents our age.
So, ladies, especially you "advanced maternal mums" out there, don't give up hope! Pray, don't go on fad diets and workout plans, resign yourself to making it a lifestyle change and stick with it! And while I'm not out of the woods yet with this one, just don't let any Drs, Family, or friends try to convince you that your eggs are "circling the drain," and give up hope, just because it's taking so much longer than you had hoped it would. If it can happen for us, it can happen for you!

Implantation bleeding or is something wrong with me?

Hi all!  I just turned 42.  I was pregnant a year ago and miscarried early.  I have still been trying to ttc naturally before getting fertility treatments.  My period is usually like clockwork usually starting light then heavy (with lots of cramps) for 1 or 2 days then light, and it usually lasts for 4 or 5 days, but this month I'm kind of baffled.  I was due to have my period on 10/31/17.  I started spotting on 11/1/17 with no cramps. Spotting with small bits of clots on 11/2/17 through 11/5/17.  11/6/17- 11/9/17 the bleeding got heavier with small clots.  Then on 11/9/17 around 2:00pm the bleeding stopped.  Woke up this morning with no blood on my tampon.  Then I felt a small cram around 11:00 a.m. and checked and the bleeding is back when I wipe.  I am back to spotting.  I've been poas e-bay cheapie daily since 10/30/17 BFN.  But since yesterday I haven't POAS (pee on a stick (i.e. pregnancy test)) but I will do it when I get home since the bleeding is back again.  I have been having lots of nightmares where I am mean and impatient to friends and family members, but in real life I am not this way. Also, a couple days ago I dreamt I was in a room full of babies in Tupperware type containers, some were dead and some were barely alive.  I was either a doctor or scientist in a white lab coat.  It was very odd. I woke up extremely cold one night and rolled over to my left side and felt better and when I woke up I was warm and very sweaty.  I've been having diarrhea daily after I eat and dizzy if I don't eat.  Last night I had some pain in my upper abdomen, like soreness, then this morning I woke up extremely nauseated, like I needed to vomit, but I didn't.  I felt well after I had breakfast, but I still feel fatigue.  Am I having a spotty period or is this implantation bleeding?  Thank you all and baby dust to all

Picture tweakers needed

Another one in comments

Personal day by day blog from CD1

Hi, so I am just a regular gal trying to conceive via IUI, and writing a blog while I do it! Yep, bit crazy, but I figure it might keep me sane through the two week wait. I am currently in my 2ww now (3dpo) so please come and follow my story at www.myuterusjourney.wordpress.com

As well as daily updates on any conception developments I am also sharing information and advice about doctors, diet, monthly cycles and fertility issues.

Ask questions, get some info or just read.

moonbeam. x

www.myuterusjourney.wordpress.com

Newbie! Severe male factor ttc 10 yrs, first IVF is officially in the works! Meds on their way! (I apologize in advance for this being so long, apparently I had a lot to get off my chest lol) *child mentioned

So, I'm not sure where to even begin... Totally new here, but not new at all to ttc. My husband and I have been together for 10 years, and are about to celebrate our 5 year wedding anniversary, I am 38 years old and have a 20 year old son (yes I said YEAR, and yes I'm aware that that was some easy math, I was 18...) I got my pregnant with my son when I was 17, obviously unplanned but the best thing that ever happen to me! I met my husband when my son was 8 years old, and after a couple of years of him convincing me that he was way more than a friend lol we began dating, fell in some crazy love, and he completed my little family. A couple of years in to our relationship we got engaged and began "not preventing", we felt like if God and fate saw fit for us to add to our family that we would be happy to welcome a new addition! We even began to really want this, however we decided we wouldn't do more than not prevent until after our wedding... flash forward a few months, a few "unintended" two week waits (turns out we started wanting it more and more) and a few pretty intense moments thinking maybe, then a few sad days when "it" came and we started to have questions... My son arrived so unexpected and ummm quickly (my best friend, yes a boy, and I had an emotional night (family drama, we both came from tough homes) and in the heat of the moment slept together, and I got pregnant with my son... while I was on the pill for irregular periods!) I was very focused on my son and supporting us after he was born, I had to live on my own when he was just 6 months old, so I didn't date too much and was extremelyyyy careful because I didn't want to do anything to take from him.... So needless to say I always assumed that if I looked at a guy too long I might get pregnant lol! I honestly figured when my husband and I stopped preventing that it would just be a matter of time before I was pregnant, we both thought that, knowing my story. So like I was saying, flash forward some months and we started to get worried, my hubby even more so, after all I had already had a child... then we began to truly try, but only for a few months because my husband started getting so sad, blaming himself, having a hard time talking about it... we went on for some years just "not preventing", each of us secretly trying, and secretly being sad over and over again. Sometimes we would talk about it, but he said he couldn't handle hearing he couldn't have kids so he shot down getting help, and I didn't push... after all I had son... We both wavered between believing it would happen when it's meant to, convincing ourselves we didn't want kids, to debating adoption and everything in between, all the while our family constantly asking us why we haven't had kids, when we are going to try to have kids, etc... WE DID THAT THING WHERE YOU PRETEND IT'S JUST NOT THE RIGHT TIME AND HOPE THEY SHUT UP... Then one day a couple of years ago it happened! My husband said he wanted us to see a fertility specialist!! And lol off I went!! All the while tucking away all the "you don't want another kid" mantras I told myself to avoid feeling sad, and let myself get excited again!! Someone can help us!! So the day came, we met with a doctor, he scheduled us for a buttload of tests and then.... the results... MALE FACTOR INFERTILITY... The most DREADED diagnosis for us... they said he had some sperm but it was so little it could be considered zero, the doctor said our only shot was ivf with icsi, but we had a shot! Then an even bigger blow, our insurance wouldn't cover treatment...  commence heartbreak...The cost would be around 12-15,000 dollars... So we began to talk, A LOT. Can we save for that, what are our chances, what if we save and still don't get pregnant?? We also reached a point where it was time to tell his parents, if nothing else maybe they would just stop asking us... and then the final blow... we tell his parents and THEN (this might come off bitter, but im still working through it, regardless of how much I love my in-laws, and I love them like they are my own parents) they tell both of us that my husband had an undescended testicle when he was born and they did surgery when he was a year and a half old!! Hubs didn't even know!!! Sorry but this was unfair in my eyes, they bugged us for years about having a baby!! How could they not share this??! We told our fertility doc who said "not surprised it makes complete sense given his SA" and then suggested hubs see a urologist... here is where I left it in his hands, he was dealing with so many emotions, and I'm sure even deeper than my own because I at least had one baby of my own.... I told him to make the appointment when he was ready and started coming up with reasons why not having a baby could be good, so I could deal with my emotions in private, so I could prepare for never having another baby... he never made the appointment, started telling me how he couldn't justify spending the money on ivf for a small chance, how he was "ok" if it didn't happen for us... and life went on, we both licked our wounds privately, and planned lots of vacations Lol! We became experts at "we totally chose this!" But the emotions always find their way out don't they? More family parties, more friends/family having babies, more questions, more lies... more private tears, and then shared tears followed by denial the next day... BUT HERE WE ARE!! THIS STORY HAS ANOTHER TURN!! With my 39th birthday approaching I had resigned myself to a "different" life, I even started taking college classes and was almost approaching acceptance, lies were becoming truth and I was starting to believe myself... Then hubs calls me one day at work and says he made an appt for us with a doctor that had helped friends of ours! Suck the air right out of my lungs!! Whaaaa??! Wait! I'm afraid to hope again, I'm not sure I can open these wounds, but I don't say that out loud... I can't, I owe him this, I'm strong, I can do this heartbreak again, I have ways to cope now... I think.... So doctor number 2, totally quirky and strange but our friends have beautiful little 3 year old after multiple miscarriages and 3 doctor's, so let's give him a chance... our appointment was just a couple of weeks ago, and it lasted 4 hours!! He did bloodwork on us both, a pelvic exam and a semen analysis right then, and insisted we wait for S.A. results!! He tells us he only examined a small portion of hubs sample but he found 2 sperm, and they were motile, and that he can get us pregnant! But only using ivf with icsi... diagnosis, almost zero count sperm and severe male factor infertilty, likely caused by his undescended testicle, but based on my exam and what he called my husband's "rare sperm" ( almost none but the ones there are healthy) he thinks he can do this for us!! Doc is very confident, but that almost makes me wonder if he is bullshitting us (there is that fear of hope thing) and then, in walks a nurse who hands us a printout, she says "you told me your insurance wouldn't cover treatment but I called to get approval for your bloodwork and you guys are covered for up to 15,000 dollars for ivf!!" HOLY SHIT!!!! Excuse the language Lol! We confirmed with insurance, and it's true! Omg! SO we are now planning our very first ivf cycle! We are going to try for my November cycle (I should get my period around the 18th) and hope for a Christmas miracle! We got our bloodwork back last week, and my thyroid meds (I have hypothyroidism) have to be upped, my level is 3.9, so too high, and hubs tests are saying he has low testosterone (240 and minimum should be 280) and high fsh,  so we are waiting to hear back from doc about what meds he will need, meds are being ordered though, and lol I have no idea what is happening!!!! I'm super scared about retrieval, I have always had painful periods, and painful ovulation, I even had a hard time taking birth control because I'm just super hormone sensitive, but  let's go! Im super scared of hoping again too but I'm willing to try! So here I am trying to find other people that can tell me what to expect, understand what I'm feeling, and can maybe hold my hand a little through this. Bless you if you managed to read this whole thing!

***UPDATE*** I wrote this a couple of weeks ago but never posted... Anyway, my RE is so bizarre, I have not spoken to him once since our initial visit, his nurses seem super disorganized and I feel like I have no clue what is happening! I got a call from a nurse that my meds were ordered, and to call when they come in to make an appointment with the ivf nursre so I can learn how to use them, annnnd that was it! No explanation, no communication about our specific treatment plan just that "everyones plan is specific to them"... At this point I have gotten more information from my insurance company about the meds, which I then had to google to find out what everything was (insert massive aggitation and frustration here) Maybe this is normal? Maybe once we get the meds it will all get better? Mayyyybe Im just a terrified nut who needs to know to much??? lol Any advice here would be helpful... So here is my meds- Gonal F 450, Menopur 75, Cetrotide .25 kit, Chor Gonadotrop, and Crinone Gel... From what too many google searchs have told me this is an antagonist protocol, but the nurse just said "dont worry we arent going to overload you with drugs" and would not tell me anything else... Anyway, Im expecting AF on the 17th or 18th of this month... and freaking out!! lol I hope someone reads this and has some advice, Im considering another RE... I dont freaking know...

 

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