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Trying-to-Conceive Blog

Trying-to-Conceive Blog

If you’re anything like me, you’re reading everything you can get your hands on when it comes to trying to get pregnant. Thank goodness for the Internet – I don’t know how anyone got pregnant before the advent of personal computing….

We have a place here on TWW for ladies to tell their BFP stories, as well as a spot for submitting their symptoms to determine if they might be pregnant. We have a wonderful TTC community where you can get valuable support and ask questions. But until now, we didn’t have a spot for the detailed monologue of your trying to conceive experience.

Introducing the Two Week Wait Trying-to-Conceive Blog. This is where you can create your very own blog of your TTC experience—every detail, blow by blow. Note that you’ll need to create an account with us first in order to create your blog. It’s free, of course. That’s how we roll here at TWW.  *there is a 24 hour waiting period on new accounts before you'll be able to start posting to your new blog.  In the meantime, have a look around and get to know the site!

Happy blogging!

15 DPO help

Hello ladies I have a few questions for you all... My husband and I just started trying for our third baby and I am currently 15 DPO having very strange symptoms but I received a negative test Friday. 

About 7/8 DPO I started having light cramps, feeling strange, dizzy spells, and strange food aversions. According to my routine cycle of every 28/29 days I expected to start my period Feb. 3rd but had red (what I thought was to be normal in color) light bleeding start in the morning of the 2nd, then nothing else the rest of the day but a little brown/rusty colored spotting twice more the 3rd. Throughout the day on the 3rd I had the worst headache and was nauseous with aches in my back, food aversions, and strange stomach cramps. This morning, the 4th, I woke up feeling fine, light headache, no blood, and have had this weird tingly sensation in my nipples. 

With all that said I’m trying not to get my hopes up and be realistic about this but I can’t help but think the test was a false negativ. Have any of you had this before? 

Thanks for the help ladies!

Heartache

Apart from a relationship ending I’ve not felt heart ache like thi, it hit my late last night. I’ve had a huge cry and now I’ve got to get up and put a smile on my face and go out into the world and have my wedding hair trial. This is hard, does it get easier?

Fear, Frustration and the Future .. thoughts?

Hi Friends,

I made this journal entry today and suddenly felt myself feeling all alone. I started to wonder if anyone has been here before, and how you overcame feelings like this? There are a lot of emotions going on here, it starts off with the news of my best friend falling pregnant, followed by a spew of resentment towards my partner and where this relationship is headed. I would really love to hear how you dealt with your frustrations of TTC and the effects it had on your relationship.

Much love xx

 

I can only describe this feeling as a full body assult. It's like I've just been thrown off the ropes by Hulk Hogan and body slammed. Hulk then tag teams with Arnold Schwarzenegger who leans me against the ropes and punches me dead in the chest. This weight on my chest is actually not Arnold. When I feel like I cant breath, I think it's anxiety. It's wierd because in my mind I feel ok, but my body still feels the effects of being body slammed by 2 heavyweight strongmen.

One of my best friends, Jane, called me the other night and told me she was pregnant with Mike. They weren't even trying. I can't explain how amazing this news is because of 2 reasons. One being my resentment towards the universe because it seems everyone around me is falling pregnant. Aquaintances, family, friends, best friends. Sadly, the resentment clouds my mind so I cannot process this information properly. The news just hit that sweet spot of all my insecurities like BAM. They weren't even trying. The second reason being that the news is simply so incredible I'm not ready in my current state of severe self-pity to effectively absorb it for all it's greatness. It's like when you're in a pitch dark room, you open the curtains slightly and you're blinded by the glorious golden blazing sunlight. It's so beautiful, and I see that it's beautiful, but I just can't look at it right now. Give me a couple of days.

I didn't go into work on Thursday because I wasn't feeling well, germs were going around the office. Jane called me that evening and told me the news. I called in sick again Friday. I just didn't want to get out of bed. They weren't even trying.

Please don't misunderstand me, I was screaming for joy on the phone, and I meant it. I am not jealous or mad at her, I'm just mad and incredibly frustrated because of the situation.

My partner Jason and I quit smoking, so I got on the ice cream to ease my pain, and it felt so fucking good. I'm sitting here watching one of my fave comedy movies and I tell you, it's as good as medicine. So nice.

I am by no means playing the blame game....... but, I feel like Jason isn't pulling his weight when it comes to babymaking. I can't do it alone. If I could, it would be done, or I at least would have given it a solid attempt. Jason doesn't have the time. Ever. I am lucky if we try once a month. We didnt try at all June through to September. How can this be the man I spend my life with? If he can't be bothered to have sex with me, how can he possibly contribute to a flourishing, fruitful, lasting relationship? He simply can't. I don't even think he understands he has an actual active role to play in this relationship. He says he wants kids, but he does very little-to-nothing to get the kids. He knows how ovulation works and how important the timing is. My belief that men are critical to a childs rearing is really starting to die on me. I simply cannot foresee it playing out as a partership. I'm so over him right now. Sometimes I flirt with the idea of breaking this off. A bit of context, we have been together 5 years, have been TTC for 2 years, love each other dearly, and have always imagined we would grow old and die together. That sort of relationship. But I feel like I'm reaching that point that I have been at times in the past when I have decided to leave an ex. When he no longer seems to contribute. When my growth in this relationship has stopped, and my personal growth is stunted. When I feel like if I don't leave I will not become the person I want to be, instead I'll become some mediocre bitter housewife with a concave bob.

I thought I knew Jason, but now what I'm starting to see in Jason scares me. Yes he is a good man with a heart of gold, but we are young and still growing. I don't see much development on his behalf. Don't get me wrong yes he has grown, it's funny because sometimes when he speaks you would swear it were my words coming out of his mouth. So yes, he is capable of seeing things from my perspective, but I feel like we've come to a point where my thoughts/ideas/values are getting so far away from him like a steam train and he can't keep up. I am, and always have been, passionate about my views and too often he simply can't understand why I feel so passionately about certain things, and this, my friends, is when men start to zone out. I'm not always right, that's for sure, but I am open minded and forever evolving my views and ideas. This is me and always will be. I used to be embarrased by being this way in a relationship, but then I realised, it's 2018. Please don't get me wrong, I do not give him a hard time, I'm just a very naturally inquisitive person and he is the type that likes to switch his brain off at night (nighttime the bulk of the time of day we have together). It seems like hes growing tired of my conversations and just wants to zone out in front of the TV. I'm not ok with that zone-out thing that men do, not anymore.

Sometimes I say to myself, "I'm asking for too much". That voice used to be incredibly loud. "Just be nice".  "Things could be worse". "Don't be too picky or you might end up alone". Alas, this is a new age and the voices are slowly disappearing. However, I do love him and I do want to stay, but I feel like this relationship is on a one way trip to mediocrity. I don't want to be like 1950's mum and pop!!!

**

After reading this back I realise that leaving my man is NOT what I want. I have just been feeling the frustration extra hard these past few days. How did you guys make it through the disappointment and frustration with your partners?

xx

 

Beat the control line

About five days past expected af now and just had to take another test. The test line now beats the control line. Yay!

My symptoms are different from my first, which is interesting. I am exhausted and starving all the time. I also keep randomly bursting into tears. Didn't have that with the first. Then I had nausea, food aversion, extreme sensitivity to smells and growing boobs. I've also had a lot of muscle pain I didn't get until 6 weeks last time. Hopefully I won't get HG again. The pills are on the ready just in case, but fingers crossed I won't need them.

When I was a little girl, I thought I would have five children. Now I'm a bit sorry that I didn't start sooner. I'll be going on 36 when this bean is expected, which would make me very lucky to make it to three. :)

BFN

sadly my AF came properly this morning which is test morning, I still tested as you can still bleed but it’s a BFN this time around. Hopefully next time. :-(

AF

I test tomorrow and I’ve had some spotting this morning and I know my AF isn’t until Sunday but this is how it usually starts. I hope it’s just random spotting and not AF. 

What do you think to this??

My cycles are for 28 days and AF lasts for 3-5 days  My last AF was on the 20-23rd of December 2017. ovulation happened between the 2nd or 3rd January , on which me and my OH had unprotected sex.  On the 9-10th I had what I think was implantation bleeding , it looked like the spotting that happens before a period, it was very light, and I didn’t even notice it happening until I saw a small amount on my pants. my af was due on the 17th, however it did not show up. now I’m on the 43 day. I’ve had 2 really faint positive clearblues, 2 negative FRERs , and a negative from answer. Its so frustrating because me and my partner just want to know so we can start preparing ourselves. We have already been to my planned parenthood , but weirdly they said they only provide pregnancy tests to those who are considering abortion which we definitely aren’t. My next period is due on the 14th, and since I ovulated on the 30th last month , I have not noticed the usual cm that I’ve always had. My breasts are almost blue with veins , they are also much much bigger than they were ( partners comment not mine) been very sleepy, also craving bacon a hell of a lot. Been moody with my partner , and I’ve had some pulling and tingling sensations in my uterus. over the past day my nipples have got so much more sensitive to touch. I just wondered if anyone else had been in this situation, and what the outcome was ? Thank you 

First IUI

Hey guys!

I have mild pcos (annovulation) & was put on Clomid 100mg for two cycles. Needless to say, that didn't work. We decided to try a medicated cycle with IUI for cycle #3. I was put on clomid 150mg days 3-7 and had a mature 21mm follicle! I triggered on 1/25 and had my IUI 24 hours later on 1/26. My ovulation was then confirmed with an U/S and progesterone check a few days after.

Have any of you gotten pg after your first IUI? I am trying not to google so much but I can't help it! I have found mixed reviews from women who say the second or third IUI worked. I haven't had any symptoms yet, as it's too early (5dpiui).

This TWW is killing me!!

Day 12

Last night I worked late which added to my fatigu. I got home, sat on the sofa with the tv and dinner, then I got this huge pain like I’d been stabbed I shouted loud and about fell off of the sofa. All day today I’ve ached in my lower abdomen and cramped with awful back ache. I do not know what it is, it could be nothing it could be implantation who knows but I have everything crossed and if it isn’t then it’s ok, we can try again. The hospital told me to test on Friday of this week (obviously day 14) I’m so nervous yet excited at the same time.

baby dust and prayers for all who read :-) xx

Some thoughts & feelings

I'm really struggling this morning, so here is my complete mess of thoughts and feelings without any organization whatsoever. 

It's hard not to get angry. Not at people, but at my situation, which can be triggered by people. It's hard to have a complete schedule of shots and pills and patches, much harder when you've got someone who reminds you multiple times a day that most people will never experience or understand that struggle. People do not understand. But it's such a catch 22 really, because often I don't want to share this very sensitive information but then I expect people to understand. And even when I do share people still don't understand. They say things like, "It'll happen!" Ultimate side eye. The road to my own personal hell is paved with the good intentions of other people. 

I'm going to have to be straight up about not being comfortable being exploited for all my knowledge about pregnancy. The people who know my situation know I have a very complete understanding of the entirety of human reproduction, but that doesn't mean I can handle daily questions about "Can I do this/eat this/etc now that I'm pregnant?" It's not that I don't want to be helpful, it's just too much for me, and eventually I'm just going to have to be honest about that. I don't know all of this stuff for my own curiosity. It's knowledge I've gained across many very difficult years. 

I took a walk. I took some breaths. I want to cry. I am only human. This is hard. Or am I just making it hard? I thank God every single day to even have the opportunity to try. Is it enough? Will it be enough?

After everything, will any of it be enough? 

I don't know.

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