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Trying-to-Conceive Blog

Trying-to-Conceive Blog

If you’re anything like me, you’re reading everything you can get your hands on when it comes to trying to get pregnant. Thank goodness for the Internet – I don’t know how anyone got pregnant before the advent of personal computing….

We have a place here on TWW for ladies to tell their BFP stories, as well as a spot for submitting their symptoms to determine if they might be pregnant. We have a wonderful TTC community where you can get valuable support and ask questions. But until now, we didn’t have a spot for the detailed monologue of your trying to conceive experience.

Introducing the Two Week Wait Trying-to-Conceive Blog. This is where you can create your very own blog of your TTC experience—every detail, blow by blow. Note that you’ll need to create an account with us first in order to create your blog. It’s free, of course. That’s how we roll here at TWW.  *there is a 24 hour waiting period on new accounts before you'll be able to start posting to your new blog.  In the meantime, have a look around and get to know the site!

Happy blogging!

Today’s the day

i had a positive ovu test today so it’s treatment day. My partner can’t be with and I’m super nervous and emotional about this. I know it can’t be helped. Plus my work we’re really off about it all this time made me feel bad for wanting to go.

IVF seminar in Melbourne tonight

Hi guys,  itd been a while since ive posted but just thought id drop and and say hi to everyone . really  excited because im taking two girlfriends to an ivf seminar in Melbourne  tonight (monash ivf glen waverly)  as we are all really interested to go.  Each friend has just recently had surgery for their endometriosis ... one as recently as last Wednesday and the other 3 weeks ago,   so i am driving them both in and we are all looking forward to going and getting some good information.  Its nice to do this together as we have all been in the ttc trenches  together for years. Anyway just really looking forward to it with them and being their support. 

How is everyone else doing lately?  Trying anything new? Sperm meets egg program? changing up your diet or vitamins or bd schedule? Taking a ttc holiday somewhere romantic maybe?  

Hope everyones well. 

Love alexandra

Hoping for an BFP

I ovulated last Monday-Wednesday and I had sex on all 3 days no I’m 5-6dpo this morning I had brown spotting just enough for an pantieliner with lil to no cramps my cycle isn’t do til next Wednesday what do you guys think

Hell, or something like it

I regret telling people we were doing ivf. I thought it would be nice to have support leading up to it and then if things didn't work out, like they didn't. But "support" as we know can come in many forms, most of which aren't helpful. Then all that support you thought you'd want becomes a burden.

My mom has taken to sending me things she's googled everyday. "I read the key is the vitamins, herbs, AND acupuncture." Because I'd already told her all the fancy supplements people swear work in a mere 3 months did not work, not even over the YEARS I bought them. Now she's telling me attitude is half the battle and that I need to "unblock my energy channels" and do more yoga (which I do every day, and have for 3 years). While I love yoga and have considered acupuncture for my overall wellbeing (ya know, since I'm crying multiple times a day and barely getting out of bed), these things are not a cure all. It's not like I'm not pregnant because my energy channels are blocked. It's almost as bad as "just relax". I want to scream, "Let me assure you, if I could just relax and get pregnant, I would do it. I would do it a thousand times before spending all this gd money and going through medical hell. I promise." It's not like someone gets cancer and you tell them to just relax and take some vitamins and unblock their fucking energy channels. I've just stopped responding. I know, truly I know, that my mom is trying to help. And this is the only way she knows how to try to help. But I am about this ( ) close to sending her, "Ya know, maybe I should just quit my job and live on govt assistance and eat McDonalds three times a day so I can have not one but TWO kids just like (insert name of one of my brother's crap baby mommas)." My friend told me that I shouldn't send it, that it would come across wrong. But really, truly, WHY am I always accomodating people?! I'm the one sitting over here on the wrong side of this fucked up parallel universe. I am TIRED of giving a fuck. I am close to discontinuing communication with literally everyone. No texts. No snaps. No carrier pigeons. I hate feeling alone but all this misguided "support" makes me feel way more alone, so at this point isn't it better to just tell everyone to leave me the fuck alone? I'm not pregnant. I don't want to talk about it like it's some super easy fixable thing. I HATE IT. I hate that apparently for everyone this is the easiest thing in the world and I HATE that everyone just acts like "oh something must be wrong with you" and I HATE that all these stupid idiot people are running around with kids they don't take care of and I HATE that nobody understands that I hate it. All of it.

We're trying to regroup and in a few weeks we're going to try to figure out the money thing and schedule our final FET. But then what? It won't work and people will sit around telling us if only we had done acupuncture and taken some vitamins? I am really beginning to question my ability to deal with this shit anymore. Yesterday I sat at work and contemplated how much leave I would get if I just decided to have a complete nervous breakdown. I know people care about us and I don't mean to sound ungrateful but FUCK. I need the universe to cut me a tiny bit of slack. Just a sliver. Because I am breaking into pieces and I surprise surprise I'm crying in public. Again. 

(Dh and I do have some plans to do stuff for us and not feel like such shit. I don't mean this whole thing to sound like we aren't trying to get though it. I'm just very frustrated with pretty much everyone and everything else. The only people who might understand that part of it are here, so that's why I'm putting it here.)

Anyway. Yeah.

Day 10 scan

tomorrow is my day 10 scan after my clomid cycle. I am super nervous but trying to stay positive. And i decided to throw changing jobs into the mix of starting a new cycle. 

Fingers crossed and baby dust to all xx

Am I pregnant

I took a CVS early results test at 12 dpo for a 28 day cycle. It showed a super faint line on a blue dye test, but my first response, taken on 14 dpo was negative. Am I pregnant?

This is what I wish I could post

I wish I could say this worked. I wish I could say, "We finally did it!!! Five years, finally a bfp!!! And maybe it's twins! The doctor was really happy with the hcg levels, which is amazing since I got bfns on all the hpts. Apparently it really is possible to get a late bfp -- I'm living proof the anecdotes have some truth! It feels so surreal, knowing we're finally going to have a family! Just have faith, ladies, it all works out in the end."

Here's the truth: It didn't work. I'm not pregnant. Five years and fifteen thousand dollars, and we still have nothing. I've never seen a bfp. The doctor said we could do another FET with our final embryo, but I think it's something like $6k, which I don't have lying around. I actually didn't even have the $15k. We spent money we didn't have on a dream that didn't come true. I was going to post a picture here of a baby hat I bought in 2013 and saved for my bfp, which I'm probably finally about to donate or throw away, but honestly I don't have the strength it would take to drag it out, take such a picture, and get rid of it. Maybe another day.

I'm heartbroken and I feel pretty stupid for ever having hoped it would really happen for me. So it goes. 

Day 5

On day 5 of March cycle, day 5 of clomid, same emotional wreck and snappy idiot as last cycle lol. fingers crossed for a good day 10 scan on Thursday. 

Baby dust and well wishes to all :)

Embryo pictures

Hi all!!

Please post pics of your transfered embies. If you can include "age" and stage (I.e. 6 day expanding blast or 5 day hatched blast), grade according to your clnic (I understand grading varies from facility to facility), and any other details you can add such as PGS/PGD tested. Lastly, if you're out of the tww, please post if you got a BFN or BFP.

As for me, I just transferred this little guy (XY) today: a 6 Day hatched blast that has been PGS/PGD tested. Can anyone tell me what that little "tail" on the end is? And why does it look so oddly shapened? 

 

Thanks for taking the time to read this post and participate! Baby dust to us all. 

Faint positive or no?

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