On Dec 19, 2016 we had our 12 week, 4 day check up which was supposed to be a regular check up. The 7 week and 9 week ultrasound was perfect. Perfect growth, heartbeat everything ❤️. At this 12 week appointment the midwife wanted to just do a quick ultrasound but was unable to find our baby's heartbeat. Our baby was measured perfectly at the date however must have recently lost its heartbeat :( On December 23rd I had a D&C surgery scheduled to remove our baby. We couldn't wait to announce our pregnancy to our family. Our dreams came crushing down. I am still so heartbroken. January 6, 2017 I had my checkup from the surgery and everything seemed to heal just fine per the doctor and she gave us the green light to start trying again. Emotionally its been the toughest thing in my life I had to go through. I almost feel like this is where my TTC journey started and ended. Not sure how anyone can try again after a miscarriage. Not sure if I'll ever be ready again. I know I don't have the luxury to wait considering my 33rd birthday is coming up next month. Life feels so unfair right now. I feel terrible for even feeling this way. There's so many positive things to be thankful for but yet all I can do is dwell on this very occurrence :( What did I do wrong? :( Was it my negative vibe from the beginning of the pregnancy?
Photo attached is from the 9 week scan ❤️
12 week scan - baby was just curled up in a ball, no photo was taken of course :(