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Trying-to-Conceive Blog

Guess who's got target dates?

This blogger!!!

*does ridiculous, singing into hairbrush, '80s movie montage style dance*

I started bcp -- something I never thought I'd say again, lol -- and we've got our whole protocol schedule for retrieval in October, FET in January.

I was a kaleidoscope of emotions over all of this. There was so much I had shoved way deep down over these past four years of (failure isn't the right word... non-success? haha) -- whatever you want to call it -- and it was hard reopening those feelings: that defeat, that fear, that hope. Even in the days leading up to scheduling I could feel myself turning into an anxious tangle of "what ifs" and "whys", and that's a dark, scary maze to try to escape. But throughout these past four years, a lot of life has happened and I've found myself on a spiritual journey, where I cultivated a closeness with God, awareness of my place in the universe, and a deep sense of gratitude and humility. All I can do is have faith, be grateful for this opportunity, and take it as it comes. I could not have handled ivf four years ago, but I'm exactly the person I need to be to handle it now -- come what will. :)

Any thoughts, prayers, or well-wishes are greatly appreciated.

Comments

Spazzle! I am so over the moon happy to see this post from you! I've been checking in on here periodically just to see your updates. I can't wait to follow your ivf journey. You will be in my thoughts and prayers and sending all the good juju vibes I can muster up for you ♡

Praying!!!

Please, please keep us up to date! Have you considered an actual blog space? If so, I'll follow!

So excited! And to have actual dates must feel great!

Why such a delay between retrieval and transfer?

Yayyy! Thanks, guys!!! So good to see familiar bloggers. :)

PM, their standard practice is a 3 month waiting period after retrieval. They want to feel that there has been enough time for my body / cycle to have fully reestablished normalcy. I questioned it too bc I'm super impatient and am definitely a girl of many questions, lol, but it is one of those things that I have to trust.

After further thought, the 3 month waiting period makes sense and I'm wondering if that should become standard practice for all ivf. My fresh failed and I've always blamed my hormones being stretched to the max. Actually I have a friend who's fresh cycle just failed. I had a feeling it the might because her cycle went a lot like mine. She's just waiting to do frozen now. I always have such high praises for frozen because it gave me my twins and overall it was so much more relaxing than fresh.

So glad to hear you have dates. They'll be here before you know it!

I've been checking for your updates too...You have my prayers!!! Going up now :)

A million thanks to each of you for thinking of me. It really means a lot as we approach the big day, so to speak. I'll be updating here as things progress!

PM, totally get what you're saying and agree. Even though what we're doing is considered "mini", the doctor has switched nearly all of his patients to this protocol bc research shows better quality eggs, fewer risks of OHSS, and better live birth rates with the frozen transfers. He has been a pioneer in ART since the 80s; he is credited with some of the first successful vasectomy reversals and pioneered mini ivf in the US. While his methods always raise eyebrows, he has a history of setting the new standard, so I feel pretty good about his approach and logic. You never know -- in some years all of this might become standard practice! Especially since so many have had experiences like yours.

This is such great news! I've seen your posts here and there since I first joined here in 2014. My heart has ached for you in many occasions. Prayers and best wishes headed your way for the new year!

Spazzle, I have been away from this site for a year while waiting on the wait list for our covered IVF cycle and just came back and saw your post. You always stand out to me because each time I come to this sight we seem to be trying something similar and you are always so positive. I should be doing my retrieval in October also. I wish you the best of luck and am excited to see how all works out for you!

I am so happy to see this!! Hoping that a baby will take on the first try!! I've heard of this doctor from friends.
Best of luck to you!!

This makes me so happy! I'll be praying for you and waiting for your updates.

Hi Spazzle,
I am so thrilled to hear this.
I keep visiting this space merely to check on you and have been closely following your journey.
Keeping my fingers crossed for you that all goes well.
Best wishes.

I don't know why, but I was thinking of you last few days. I logged in, skimmed through your blog and saw this.
Spazzle, may I just say that whatever you do, I wish you to get the results you want! Like, wholegeartedly and all that. You seem to be the one person who never ceased to believe and act based on your belief, and you deserve this baby like not many people do.
I will read your blog back a few entries when I have a chance (I literally have a kindergartener jumping all over me just as I type), but regardless - good luck to you!

Hopefullu, yayyy we can be retrieval month buddies! :) I've been looking over all of our dates and documents and who needs to be paid what and when; it's a little overwhelming but I'm excited!

I love seeing so many familiar usernames pop up from ttc long ago! And I enjoy thinking how many of you have children (no longer just hopes, or positive tests, but actual kids! It's so nuts!). Thank you all so much for thinking of me and saying hi. This comment thread has given me all the feels (and that's not just the birth control hormones talking). :D

Hi Spazz, like maybemiracle said, if you decided to make a new blog space id follow you too! Wishing you all the best with crossed fingers and toes.!

AND a big hello to everyone else! Especially the oldschoolers! Keep the faith everyone!!!!! I just got pg from the tubeless side right before ivf so remember miracles do happen.

Checking in! Hope you're getting excited!