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Dh is a sex machine! How much is too much?

Thu Sep 04, 2014 7:06 am

Well I really tried to make this post not so long but I think its impossible lol...

I am tracking with Ovia app, and so far this cycle we have BD'd on the following days:
CD 5,6,8,10,12,13, 14 (2x), 16 & 17(today)!!

We agreed that we were going to BD at least every other day so we don't miss my window (I guess we did even a bit more than that). Then last night DH confessed that he has still been masturbating, even with this insane amount of sex we've been having!

He has confessed to me in the past that he does masturbate A LOT, and while it bothered me at first he does enjoy sex too so I've just accepted its just something he does on his own time when he is horny and I'm not around. But since we started TTC and have stepped up our game to BD almost everyday, I never really thought he would still have needs beyond that!! When I told him that he just said 'Well, I'm like the Energizer Bunny!' I know this is true because he is usually still hard after sex and can just go again (which can be a good thing :wink: ) But in the case of TTC, I am worried this is going to be an issue. From what I have read it seems most sources say that daily ejaculation is actually healthy, so I wasn't even really worried about if he did it on days we don't BD. But what if its 2 or 3 or more times a day!!!???

I am just glad that DH was honest and brought this to my attention early on. He said that he CAN control it but made it seem like he wanted a set calendar of when we are going to have sex so then he knows if he should refrain...but I told him I've been trying to at least keep a little spontaneity! But part of the problem is he goes to work at 7:30 am, so he gets up around 6. He wakes up with his morning wood and so he often can't help it but to take care of that. I am NEVER up that not even half awake. So I suppose if he really finds it difficult to refrain in the morning I can try to wake up with him even a couple of days a week, I mean we could BD and then I could just go back to sleep lol. Today he left for his physical training (which is 3x a week), and he comes home around 8:30 to shower which is when I usually get up. We often have a 'quickie' during that time before we both go to work. So he asked me this morn if there was time and I said 'Oh, did you not already have sex this morning?' (I said it jokingly, not like I was angry or something) and he said that he almost did but that he did refrain. So at least I know he can!

Anyways...before I type a whole novel, I guess I am just wondering what to do next. I think we could compromise and say maybe a couple days he refrains in the morn and then we BD later, and a couple other days I can try to wake up early to BD with him then. But doing that seems like we really will have a BD schedule. Also, I haven't done OPK's or anything yet as he wasn't into doing any of that, but now I want to try to get him on board. That way we don't have to worry about him refraining so much all the time, and just when I'm actually fertile. But then again I was advised not to tell him when I'm fertile, to avoid putting pressure on him :?

Anyone else dealt with this? Anyone still get a BFP even though DH masturbates? Any thoughts/suggestions/advice are appreciated :)

Re: Dh is a sex machine! How much is too much?

Thu Sep 04, 2014 7:19 am

Hi Jeep!

As he gets older, that will calm down some ;) For the sake of TTC though, I offer you this compromise - try to BD every other day, and have him really put in an effort to not masturbate whatever week you tell him not to (your fertile week). That week, get up with him every other morning and BD...then you can go back to sleep if you want. (That may actually be helpful if you stay laying down for a bit afterwards...supposedly it doesn't matter but I say it can't hurt!) I have read several places that spermies are at their best in the morning, so who knows? :)

Definitely get some internet cheapies for OPK and a BBT thermometer. It is just as much about learning your body as knowing when your fertile window is. :) :goodluck1:

Re: Dh is a sex machine! How much is too much?

Thu Sep 04, 2014 1:46 pm

Talked to DH and really tried to explain that while it may come across that I have been TTC obsessed, I am also just interested in learning about my body, when I O etc. I have actually been shocked sometimes at things I didn't know. So I think he understands more why I actually want to use the app and track. Then I asked if he thinks I should share with him when I am fertile and he does. So hopefully now it just means figuring out the best times for him to refrain and us to BD! :D

Re: Dh is a sex machine! How much is too much?

Thu Sep 04, 2014 1:55 pm

That's wonderful!! Communication is a GREAT thing to have, and I am really happy things are going well for you. :babydustb:

Re: Dh is a sex machine! How much is too much?

Thu Sep 04, 2014 5:41 pm

Okay so I did remove my pic, I realize maybe I should stay more anonymous. But really, people share all kinds of personal info here, so I never really thought it was that out there. I never even went into detail actually about how often he does it, just that he is horny a lot and wakes up horny. So what? I am actually kind of offended that you assume that makes him a 'teenager' or a 'nympho'. So he likes sex? I don't see it as a problem unless he actually *can't* refrain, or if it interfered with his life like his job. If you don't have any helpful comments, why say anything at all?

Re: Dh is a sex machine! How much is too much?

Thu Sep 04, 2014 6:56 pm

He obviously does care, because HE brought this to my attention as he realized it might be an issue for us and HE wants to know when to refrain. And I had already decided on my own to remove the photo, but thanks for that.

Re: Dh is a sex machine! How much is too much?

Fri Sep 05, 2014 1:43 am

Wow 4ormore, that's totally uncalled for to stereotype or judge like that, goodness...this site used to be so supportive and non it feels like the bump.

Op....I echo the opk suggestion. We used to do it like yours when we were in our 20s but we have slowed down quite a bit with age :D . Who knows, maybe even doing it everyday might work for you. Maybe try to experiment and see what works. Good luck OP.

Ps: personally for me, opk and bbt are the key. I thought I ovulated on cd 17, turned out that I often ovulated on cd 19 - 24.

Re: Dh is a sex machine! How much is too much?

Fri Sep 05, 2014 7:00 am

I agree with Bichon - that was really ugly and uncalled for - if there was a point that you felt really needed to be made, it could have been done via pm - why be so cruel and judgmental on a public forum? Just plain unnecessary.

Jeepgirl don't worry about that stuff - we love you :hb:

Re: Dh is a sex machine! How much is too much?

Fri Sep 05, 2014 8:12 am

Thanks Bichon and Highland! Most people here have indeed been very supportive and helpful so I'm not going to worry about the odd one who isn't. None of us actually know each other so it's not even fair and is definitely unnecessary to judge anyone here. Our primary goal should be about helping one another feel better, so thanks again for doing that :D

Re: Dh is a sex machine! How much is too much?

Fri Sep 05, 2014 9:43 am

I will chime in from the biology side of the issue. While BD'ing everyday during your fertile window shouldn't be a problem, BD'ing (and/or masturbating) multiple times a day, will decrease the number of mature sperm that are available for the next ejaculate. Consistently doing this will lower sperm count overall, b/c the sperm available will not be mature (which can result in non-viable pregnancy if fertilization does occur). Also, BD'ing very frequently during the fertile window can "flood" your uterus with too many sperm, which can reduce the chances of one of them getting to the egg somehow (I don't know the biology behind it, but have seen multiple warnings).

So, my suggestion would be that during your fertile window, make sure that you BD no more than once a day and that he refrains from self-pleasure during this time. It would probably be helpful for your chances if he could refrain from masturbating from the time AF stops to when you ovulate, to ensure that his sperm are maturing and that good numbers are available when you are fertile (so, maybe BD every other day during the time from AF to fertile window). He can have at it all he wants in any way he wants once you ovulate and through the end of AF.

GL, hun

Re: Dh is a sex machine! How much is too much?

Fri Sep 05, 2014 11:25 am

I agree with Rolocat. Not that DH and I can do it multiple times a day (those days are long gone haha) but the magic number for me, it seems that Ovulation - 1 day and Ovulation - 3 day. Since I'm so sure of my O day (from temp, signs, and OPK), this seems to be the winning formula for me as I got pregnant 3 times in 5 months since we did this schedule (sadly 2 ended up in MCs and 3rd one is going strong at 34 weeks now :)).

If you are sure of you O days, so that means just 4 - 5 days of adjustment during your fertile window and then you two can go back to where it is before :).

Re: Dh is a sex machine! How much is too much?

Fri Sep 05, 2014 12:20 pm

I actually ovulated later that anticipated this cycle, so we had to keep at it until temps confirmed O. I think our schedule (resulting in BFP) was:

O-7: pm
O-5: am
O-4: pm
O-2: am
O-1: am
O day: early pm

so, once every 36hrs from O-7, to O-2, then daily through O.

Re: Dh is a sex machine! How much is too much?

Fri Sep 05, 2014 10:54 pm

Jeep girl,

I'm very sorry for the negativity you received for making your post. Honestly, my first thought was "damn, that's awesome!" I find it very difficult to find time to BD, so the fact that you're that motivated (as a couple) is great. I agree that sperm count is the concern and that masturbation is not a good idea while you're TTC (unless it's during a time when you're unable to BD). However, I've actually read that (assuming sperm count & quality are fine) the quantity of sex you have makes up for the slightly lower count from BDing every day. Of course, I think I'd get tired of BDing more than every other day, personally.

- Joann

Re: Dh is a sex machine! How much is too much?

Sat Sep 06, 2014 6:36 am

I really have no idea if I'm 3DPO or what...I was actually pretty dry until yesterday and then I think I had some EWCM so we BD'd once more yesterday as well. I was kind of trying to avoid OPK's to just relax and let things happen on their own, but honestly I think not knowing when I'm O is making me more stressed lol. Like we got busy BDing so early on this cycle, and if I did O late we might not have put in the effort at the right time.

I keep thinking that it really does only take one sperm, and that there's still a chance I'll be pregnant. But I've also accepted that this probably isn't the month, all we can do is learn from it as we go along and try again next cycle :)

Re: Dh is a sex machine! How much is too much?

Mon Aug 13, 2018 2:45 am

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