12 dpiui and BFN :(

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12 dpiui and BFN :(

Postby BuffaloMaple » Thu Jun 08, 2017 4:55 pm

Feeling devastated and hopeless today. This was our 4th IUI and I tested BFN at 12 dpiui with zero symptoms. Some people might say I'm giving up too early, but from what I've read online most ladies get at least a faint BFP by now. My heart feels broken. I don't know if I can go through any more IUIs emotionally, and I don't think I can't go through with IVF because it honestly sounds like too much for me to handle. At the same time, how do I just give up on something I want so bad?

Tomorrow I go on vacation with my in-laws, including my 1 year old nephew and my SIL who is now openly trying for her second baby. Being around my nephew is really hard for me right now, and if my SIL announces a second pregnancy I might die! Not that I wouldn't be happy for her, I just feel so horribly sad for my husband and I. I get so sad when I see him snuggle and play with our nephew. All I want is for him to be doing those things with OUR baby. I don't know how I'm going to get through this vacation.
Me 36, DH 34
TTC #1 since Sept 2015
Me - all good except small uterine polyp removed
DH - low count < 10mil
IUI #1-5 BFN, IUI #6 cancelled
IVF #1 with ICSI/PGS, begin stims 9/24/2017
10/6 ER: 15 eggs, 11 mature, 10 fertilized via ICSI
10/12 Day 6 Report: All 10 survived/biopsied/frozen!!
10/16 PGS Results: 7 PGS normals!! 6 girls, 1 boy
Grading: 3 hatching AB Good, 1 hatching BB Good, 3 hatching BC Fair
12/9 FET #1 ...waiting
BuffaloMaple
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Re: 12 dpiui and BFN :(

Postby BeeCee33 » Thu Jun 08, 2017 5:32 pm

Didn't want to read and run... I just wanted to say I'm sorry you're feeling so down and that you haven't had luck conceiving yet. I was able to get pregnant fairly easily, but I got married a little later than some and spent most of the decade before that watching my siblings and friends build their families while I feared I would never even get the chance to be married. I know it's not the same, but I have been on many of those family vacations feeling like the odd man out, watching others enjoying what I didn't have. Of course we all had fun together, but it was always at the back of my mind. I hope you're able to enjoy your vacation and I hope your SIL isn't quite pregnant with #2 yet, just to give you a break. Who knows, a little vacation and family time may be just what you need to boost your spirits. I hope you feel better soon!
Me (Becca): 31 DH:36

BFP Feb 20, 2017 :angel: mc @ 5 weeks

BFP June 2, 2017 :angel: mc @ 5 weeks

Henry James born 7/27/15
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BeeCee33
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Location: Mt. Vernon, Washington, USA

Re: 12 dpiui and BFN :(

Postby BuffaloMaple » Thu Jun 08, 2017 5:53 pm

Thanks for the reply beecee. I know where you're coming from, too. My husband and I have been together 16 years and watched every family member in my generation go on to have babies. I'm literally the only one left of us who doesn't have kids. It feels so isolating sometimes. But you are right, hopefully some family time will surprise me and do some good. Right now I'm wanting to fake sick and not go! Lol. And trying to get all my tears out today so my well is dry!

Best wishes to you! BTW small world. I grew up in Mount Vernon :) I live by Bellevue now.
Me 36, DH 34
TTC #1 since Sept 2015
Me - all good except small uterine polyp removed
DH - low count < 10mil
IUI #1-5 BFN, IUI #6 cancelled
IVF #1 with ICSI/PGS, begin stims 9/24/2017
10/6 ER: 15 eggs, 11 mature, 10 fertilized via ICSI
10/12 Day 6 Report: All 10 survived/biopsied/frozen!!
10/16 PGS Results: 7 PGS normals!! 6 girls, 1 boy
Grading: 3 hatching AB Good, 1 hatching BB Good, 3 hatching BC Fair
12/9 FET #1 ...waiting
BuffaloMaple
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Posts: 44
Joined: Tue Mar 15, 2016 8:45 pm

Re: 12 dpiui and BFN :(

Postby BeeCee33 » Thu Jun 08, 2017 6:42 pm

No way! I grew up in Bellevue lol.

I'm the youngest in my family, so all of my siblings are done having kids (they all have 4-5) and we're just getting started. Anyway, I hope your bfp comes soon. The fun thing about having the youngest kids in the family is that everyone does on them, including all their cousins. I hope you get to experience that soon!
Me (Becca): 31 DH:36

BFP Feb 20, 2017 :angel: mc @ 5 weeks

BFP June 2, 2017 :angel: mc @ 5 weeks

Henry James born 7/27/15
Image

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My Ovulation Chart
User avatar
BeeCee33
Girlfriend
Girlfriend
 
Posts: 3060
Joined: Mon Oct 06, 2014 6:44 pm
Location: Mt. Vernon, Washington, USA

Re: 12 dpiui and BFN :(

Postby BuffaloMaple » Tue Jun 13, 2017 9:19 am

That is so true, beecee. Thanks for helping me see the positives!
Me 36, DH 34
TTC #1 since Sept 2015
Me - all good except small uterine polyp removed
DH - low count < 10mil
IUI #1-5 BFN, IUI #6 cancelled
IVF #1 with ICSI/PGS, begin stims 9/24/2017
10/6 ER: 15 eggs, 11 mature, 10 fertilized via ICSI
10/12 Day 6 Report: All 10 survived/biopsied/frozen!!
10/16 PGS Results: 7 PGS normals!! 6 girls, 1 boy
Grading: 3 hatching AB Good, 1 hatching BB Good, 3 hatching BC Fair
12/9 FET #1 ...waiting
BuffaloMaple
Member
Member
 
Posts: 44
Joined: Tue Mar 15, 2016 8:45 pm


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