Keeping sane

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Keeping sane

Postby Hwantsababy » Wed Aug 23, 2017 9:18 am

Hello ladies I am in my first tww and only 3dpo but it feels like I'm going ever so slightly crazy I'm know it's far too early to symptom spot but every twinge my mind is on high alert.
A little bit about my history this is not the first time I've been here I had fertility treatment and IUI 7 years ago this for me was a very stressful time and I don't think I can face that road again. Anyway it was not successful but I did naturally conceive a year later but sadly had a missed miscarriage at 7 weeks. This pretty much ended my relationship with my then partner and until now have put all the thought and stress away in a box. My partner now of 3 years have decided we want to give it ago however he is very relaxed and is happy to start trying he is difficult to bed shall we say as he works shifts not always ideal! I am 36 and he's 41 so time is not on our side.
So this month is the first try using opk we managed to dtd on the Thursday and then on Saturday when I had a solid smiley face. I would love to think that I am that lucky to catch on but then the devil on my shoulder reminds me of everything that happened in the past and I don't feel that lucky.
Since Sunday I have felt bloated windy my left breast hurts like trapped wind stabbing pain and my stomache mild pains like beginning of af all of these can be something or nothing an I'm sure you all know this anguish of the tww so I thought I would join you for moral support.
Thank you
Wishing you lots of luck
Hwantsababy
 
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Re: Keeping sane

Postby BeeCee33 » Wed Aug 23, 2017 3:40 pm

Hi H, and welcome back to the world of baby making! 3/4 dpo is always when I start going crazy. I know it's too early for symptoms, but I'm so impatient and the tww feels so long stretching it in front of me! So I don't blame you for noticing all the little things. ;)

On one of my bfp cycles, I actually did feel off from 1dpo. I don't know if it was just coincidence or what, but I remember telling a friend of mine the day after O that I was going to be pregnant that cycle. I think sometimes we just know!

Anyway, welcome to the boards. I'm sorry to hear about your previous struggles and loss. I've lost 2 babies this year and it really takes a toll on you. Hopefully some fresh swimmers from your current partner will make the difference you need to get that sticky bean. ;)
Me (Becca): 31 DH:36

BFP Feb 20, 2017 :angel: mc @ 5 weeks

BFP June 2, 2017 :angel: mc @ 5 weeks

Henry James born 7/27/15
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Re: Keeping sane

Postby Hwantsababy » Thu Aug 24, 2017 5:56 am

Aww thank you. So sorry to hear of your losses it's feels like such a lonely place to be in sometimes even when the support is there.
Wishing you lots of luck and hopefully we will be able to share our success stories soon enough.
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Re: Keeping sane

Postby BeeCee33 » Thu Aug 24, 2017 3:07 pm

Thanks. :) I don't know what I would have done without this site... The support here has been amazing!
Me (Becca): 31 DH:36

BFP Feb 20, 2017 :angel: mc @ 5 weeks

BFP June 2, 2017 :angel: mc @ 5 weeks

Henry James born 7/27/15
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Re: Keeping sane

Postby Chrissydixie4 » Fri Aug 25, 2017 9:57 am

Hi- I'm so sorry for what you have gone through already and for your losses. I'm new to this path and had no idea the TTW was a thing, let alone something that would make me feel so unhinged.

This is my first post to the TTW... and I'm hesitant to post anything being so new to this path.
I went into my first IUI 9 days ago totally unaware of what I was in for! My wife and I are just beginning on this road and I had no clue what I was in for. Knowing there are so many of us on our paths but sharing so much of the journey helps such a great deal. I am so grateful to all of you who bravely share your experience and hope with us all.
Thinking of you and sending my best your way!


I wrote this last night for all of us in the TTW:

The Two Week Wait

Is it you?
That twinge of cramping, bizarre dreams, unusual back ache...

Are you there?
Itchy skin, bloating, gas, constipation, cold skin, hot feet...

Is it possible?
Irritation, emotional swings, I have to pee again...

Could it be you?

I google my symptoms for the thousandth time today-
pregnancy or diabetes-
God I hope I don't have diabetes, please let me be pregnant.

I love you so much already

My mind frantically races and I desperately reach for you
Every ounce of my being readies itself for you
And in the secret places of my own fear, I realize I'm praying my love for you will be strong enough to bring you here

Instantaneously I know that lack of loving you will never be the problem.

You will come- I pray through this body, yet the quiet part of my soul reassures me for the hundredth time this minute- in your time, in your way, you will find us.

Now my only task, to work on the first lesson you have assigned me as your mother- trust and patience.
Lessons I will revisit again and again.

I am ready my child, my greatest teacher.
I will return to over analyzing every feeling, searching for any signs to tell me you are on your way, spinning in circles as the two-week-wait continues crawling by

But for a moment I rest again on the solid ground of knowing we have called for you
and now we wait for you to find us.
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Re: Keeping sane

Postby BeeCee33 » Fri Aug 25, 2017 11:04 am

Chrissy that was beautifully written! Love, love, love. :hb:
Me (Becca): 31 DH:36

BFP Feb 20, 2017 :angel: mc @ 5 weeks

BFP June 2, 2017 :angel: mc @ 5 weeks

Henry James born 7/27/15
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Re: Keeping sane

Postby Hwantsababy » Fri Aug 25, 2017 3:33 pm

Wow if ever there was a more poignant moment that would be it. Your words are so true for us all I am in tears reading it. Thank you. I hope you get your BFP I put myself through it with the treatment I hope you have a better experience than me.
Wish you all the luck roll on tww
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Re: Keeping sane

Postby Janeite<3 » Tue Aug 29, 2017 7:49 am

Chrissy- Those are beautiful and touching words! Thank you so much for sharing them with all of us!
Me: 37
DH: 36
One adorable puppy

TTC #1 since August 2014

-------------------------------------
December 2015-BFP, MC @ 5 weeks :angel:
January 2016-started acupuncture
December 2016-Clomid 50 mg, chemical
July 2017-1st RE visit, AMH undetectable
2nd RE visit-High FSH, high estrogen, AMH undetectable
October 2017- another chemical
Praying for a rainbow
--------------------------------------

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Re: Keeping sane

Postby Chrissydixie4 » Thu Aug 31, 2017 7:32 am

Thanks all. I'm so grateful for having others on this journey too! Lots of BFN (day 15 post iui still a few days before expected AF but pretty sure we are going for another round next month)... Trying to keep heart but this trying to conceive is no joke. The emotional rollercoaster of one IUI ttw has me begging for mercy from the ups and downs! Those of you who have been on this journey far longer are so strong and inspiring and brave! Love and gratitude to you all!
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Re: Keeping sane

Postby tiffer86 » Thu Aug 31, 2017 8:14 am

That brought tears to my eyes Chrissy...

My DH and I have been TTC for 9 months now and this month was my first round of Clomid, I have had 3 BFN this week and tomorrow is my Blood Test... I am SO nervous and scared. I have had SO many symptoms all Two-Weeks and now I have AF cramps.
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Re: Keeping sane

Postby Chrissydixie4 » Thu Aug 31, 2017 8:39 am

Sending so much love your way. Thinking of you and your husband tomorrow and praying for your blood test!
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