What's so great about a baby?

Meet others who are TTC in their 30s

Moderators: unaffected, JessM, southernbelle, maddy

What's so great about a baby?

Postby tryingat39 » Fri Oct 27, 2017 8:39 pm

Im sorry that I'm coming across like this..but, help me put things into perspective. I've quit all antidepressants, all alcohol, weed, caffeine. I'm using preseed, getting my vitamins and folate, greens and a fertility diet. And guess what.. my life is really boring and dull..is a baby that great? I'll probably be fat, tired and miserable cow.

I would want my son or daughter to visit me at a nursing home when I'm old and a baby would make my mom and husband happy.. but then I think.. what if they die way before me in an atomic bomb or they get shot at a concert? Im a little depressed and discouraged.

Maybe it's not so bad if I dont end up having one. Just venting here..
tryingat39
Friend
 
Posts: 4
Joined: Sat Oct 21, 2017 8:31 pm

Re: What's so great about a baby?

Postby Danaa » Sat Oct 28, 2017 1:21 am

If you don’t feel mentally ready for a baby you definitely shouldn’t do it just bcs it would make your partner and ur mom happy.
Ttc can have an affect on ur mental health for sure and I think there are safe antidepressants you could take while ttc,as for the rest girl let me tell you that a cup of cup or a pizza won’t stand in ur way to get pregnant or even the occasional glass of wine,drug addicts and alcoholics get pregnant all the time.
Having a baby is that wonderful selfish thing we do,imagine that human being that growed inside of you for 9 months starting to call you mommy and then starting to cuddle you or give you a kiss or saying I love you,imagine giving to this world another human that you helped shaped and formed .
I don’t know how else to put it lol.
Do you have a dog?is very similar to raising a pup to doghood so to say,they are needy,loud,dirty,but when they sleep and you smell that puppy breath you know is all worth it.
Hope this helps.
Image
My Ovulation Chart
.
Me 29
DH 31
After 3 years in which we tried everything we are doing IVF in Greece with Iakentro Athens.
Short Protocol with Bemfola and Cetrotide
19mature eggs and we have 9 day5 blasto.
FET#1 ended in a loss around 5 weeks
FET#2 ended in a loss at 22w due to IC,my boys will be forever in my heart .
FET#3 ?
User avatar
Danaa
Girlfriend
Girlfriend
 
Posts: 9317
Joined: Wed Nov 12, 2014 5:54 am

Re: What's so great about a baby?

Postby tryingat39 » Sat Oct 28, 2017 6:31 am

Danaa wrote:If you don’t feel mentally ready for a baby you definitely shouldn’t do it just bcs it would make your partner and ur mom happy.
Ttc can have an affect on ur mental health for sure and I think there are safe antidepressants you could take while ttc,as for the rest girl let me tell you that a cup of cup or a pizza won’t stand in ur way to get pregnant or even the occasional glass of wine,drug addicts and alcoholics get pregnant all the time.
Having a baby is that wonderful selfish thing we do,imagine that human being that growed inside of you for 9 months starting to call you mommy and then starting to cuddle you or give you a kiss or saying I love you,imagine giving to this world another human that you helped shaped and formed .
I don’t know how else to put it lol.
Do you have a dog?is very similar to raising a pup to doghood so to say,they are needy,loud,dirty,but when they sleep and you smell that puppy breath you know is all worth it.
Hope this helps.


Thanks Danaa..maybe it's my depression sneaking back up that's talking more than anything. We have 3 dogs, one of them I raised since it was tiny pup, so I do know the joys of puppy motherhood. Dogs are way easier though.

I just feel like some of us should really think about this...do you want your whole life to change to dedicate to a baby? I'm speaking for myself. I know there's women out there that can manage their lives with kids. Me, for example, I'm a pole fitness enthusiast but I just hurt my shoulder, which is making me even more depressed. Imagine if i couldn't do that anymore?? I will be missing sleep, broke, worried about a crying baby or screaming with poopy diapers..yes babies are extremely cute but they're difficult.

I'm probably too overwhelmed to think straight. I also feel terrible for so many women going through procedures, miscarriages etc.. I honestly don't think it's worth that. If I have a miscarriage, which I know is highly probable at my age, if I ever get pregnant, I'd be mad, especially at like 10 or 14 weeks.

Also you say alcoholics and drug addicts have babies..well not really at my age. You have to be extremely careful, so I can't hit the pen or spark up a blunt right now because of research. I'm not a big drinker so no worries there..and as far as antidepressants...what's really safe??
tryingat39
Friend
 
Posts: 4
Joined: Sat Oct 21, 2017 8:31 pm

Re: What's so great about a baby?

Postby Danaa » Sat Oct 28, 2017 7:32 am

You are probably overwhelmed with everything or you are just not ready for a baby.
Imagine you find out tomorrow that you are pregnant,will you be happy?
I guess ready we can never be properly ready....
Such personal decision really.
I have been trough so much but i was not ready to give up.
Image
My Ovulation Chart
.
Me 29
DH 31
After 3 years in which we tried everything we are doing IVF in Greece with Iakentro Athens.
Short Protocol with Bemfola and Cetrotide
19mature eggs and we have 9 day5 blasto.
FET#1 ended in a loss around 5 weeks
FET#2 ended in a loss at 22w due to IC,my boys will be forever in my heart .
FET#3 ?
User avatar
Danaa
Girlfriend
Girlfriend
 
Posts: 9317
Joined: Wed Nov 12, 2014 5:54 am

Re: What's so great about a baby?

Postby CLi17 » Fri Dec 01, 2017 10:05 am

Hi, I am sorry you feel kind of depressed. Yes, having babies/kids is a lot of work and they drive you crazy all the time and the day you start to be pregnant you no longer have your own life. but I think if you look at it another way, a lot of women decide to have kids not just to look forward to getting visits in the nursery home...but kids really give us a sense of responsibility. they make us powerful as women should be, it brings out the love in our heart that some of us might have shielded for a while...it's very satisfying and rewarding.
Me & DH: 36

1st girl: born Apr09
2nd girl: born Jan13
currently TTC #3 (hoping for a boy), taking prenatal vitamin, moderate yoga exercise
User avatar
CLi17
Friend
 
Posts: 12
Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2017 1:50 pm

Re: What's so great about a baby?

Postby NewlyWed_Z » Mon Dec 04, 2017 12:27 am

I agree with CLi - I love having her look up to me and her being my responsibility. Also, she's a tiny person and has her own personality that definitely adds to the family. Doing certain things just became more fun!

Also, I feel kinda great having "added" to the family... i.e. my MIL now has another person to love and gush over, my sisters have a new niece, etc.

The first year is tough because they don't show much of their personality before that, but when they do, it's pretty fulfilling.
Me: 34, DH: 29

DD1: Baby O (born June 2016), conceived while tracking here :) in Oct. 2015 (BFP 10 DPO)

TTC No. 2: C1 (start Nov 21 - cycle 29 days)

Taking multivitamins only for now
NewlyWed_Z
TTC Queen
TTC Queen
 
Posts: 306
Joined: Wed Sep 23, 2015 11:24 pm


Return to TTC in our 30s