New and looking for someone to talk to/some support

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New and looking for someone to talk to/some support

Postby pixie789 » Fri Dec 22, 2017 3:36 am

Hi everyone,

This is the first time I've used anything like this but I'm feeling the pressure from the whole TTC process a bit and just thought talking to people in a similar position could help. So, we've only been actually ttc for a month (I know, such a short time but already feels like a lifetime as it's all I think about!) but were waiting to ttc for a few months before. The beginning of the month started fine, started dtd every few days and I was on the look out for the big o signs. I did a few opks and got a positive and set about dtd that eve. My partner didn't know then about it being the big o time but the deed didn't happen properly (inside me) because he couldn't stay hard enough. I was a bit confused and couldn't hide my frustration and asked what happened and then said that I thought it was the 'right time' of the month. This is when i first realised that OH was feeling the stress of trying to perform. We've been together 4 and a half years and have never had any previous issues with his performance. For the next few days after the OH could not get hard/ejaculate inside me. He was obviously frustrated and said he thinks it is because he's thinking about it too much. We've been really positive when talking to each other and have taken on the attitude that it's not 'a problem' just something we will overcome together. He had a sickness bug last week so dtd was off the cards for a bit but since he's been better we've been just enjoying getting intimate together and he's been climaxing without getting hard/being inside.

I've got AF today, which wasn't a surprise but was late so this was a bit of an emotional rollercoaster as i was expecting every day this week and each day of not getting I stupidly let myself get a little hopeful, hard not to!

I'm wondering if there's anyone else in my position? anyone that's overcome a situation like this? I'm feeling very lonely as I'm a talker and usually any sort of issues I talk through with friends, family or partner but I feel because this is so sensitive fair him I don't want to bring it up too much with him and I don't want to discuss such sensitive stuff for him with other people that know him as it's not fair because I wouldn't want him to be discussing me.

I also wondered if anyone could shed some light on staying positive during the ttc rollercoaster? It's been such a shock for me because I thought that the whole thing would be exciting and adventurous and just generally an exciting time and didn't prepare for the constant up and downs and fixations an anything to do with babies/pregnancy. Does it get any easier?

Sorry if that's a rambley mixed message/post. That's pretty much how I feel at the mo, but also trying to put all aside and enjoy xmas and enjoy all my friends new babies and pregnancies, so hard!

I look forward to reading any replies and hopefully connecting with some people in a similar situation. Similarly if I can help anyone in anyway I'd love to (although not sure I can as feel very ammaturish at the mo).

Thanks
pixie789
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Re: New and looking for someone to talk to/some support

Postby Danaa » Fri Dec 22, 2017 4:32 am

I don’t really know what to say..men can feel pressured by this whole thing and sometimes is best for them not to know about ovulation and opks etc....at first I didn’t shared that with my husband but after a year I started to and when I realized the effects on our relationship and sex life I stopped sharing and started to initiate sex as often as I could just telling him that I miss him that was it,no talk of baby :)) ttc can become a very stressful thing.
All I can say is take it easy,you just started,enjoy your intimate time with ur partner and BD whenever you see fertile C.M.
Good luck !
Image
My Ovulation Chart
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Me 29
DH 31
After 3 years in which we tried everything we are doing IVF in Greece with Iakentro Athens.
Short Protocol with Bemfola and Cetrotide
19mature eggs and we have 9 day5 blasto.
FET#1 ended in a very early loss,chemical pregnancy.
FET#2 ended in a loss at 22w due to IC,my boys will be forever in my heart .
FET#3 MMC at the 10 weeks ultrasound.
FET#4 2018
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Re: New and looking for someone to talk to/some support

Postby Angelaparker » Fri Feb 02, 2018 4:53 am

Haha... *thunder claps* The way ladies share things online. Honestly. Without any hesitations. Or reservations. Where do you get this energy? And such confidence?! Marvellous. Stay brave always. And I completely understand. How tough and rough journey. This could be. For each of you. Still, as long as you add the elements of fun. You can enjoy life. Not worrying about unnecessary stuff. Wish you all a very meaningful life. Stay happy!
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