maybe Adoption

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maybe Adoption

Postby candjbaby » Sat May 07, 2011 10:47 am

so i have three things to look in to that can make me a mom
and one i have been not really considering and that is adoption. my sil did it and waited 3 years for a baby in the us so i know a little about the home studies and paper work and after talking to dh be sides having to maybe wait for a baby its a grantee i will become a mom
i am also looking in to ivf but dh is worried about my scars from anther surgery i had and maybe mc or it just not being a successful cycle and having to do it again
me-25
DH-31
living with a ostomy since 2005
HSG- 4-15-11 showed both tubes blocked
waiting on June 21 for RE appointment is there a ticker for that?

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Postby socialite_baby » Sat May 07, 2011 12:28 pm

DH and I originally planned on adoption if it came down to it that IVF was our only option. It just seems like a better use of our money, especially with the adoption tax credit. We were going to start the process later this year, but I would regret not doing at least one IVF cycle. I think I'll need it as closure if it doesn't work.

For us adoption has always been on the table, but tucked away under lots of other things. It wasn't until a few months ago when we dug out, found it, and started seriously considering it. Of course we would love a child of our own to see who's features he/she gets, but we would love any baby!
Lindsay (Mild Endo, thin PCOS, Hypothyroid, implantation failure)
TTC #1 for 7.5 years...

April - November 2011 - 7 Rounds of 50 mg Clomid, 3 IUIs. All BFN.
February - March, June 2012 - 3 Rounds 5 mg Femara. BFN.
April 2012 - "Immune Protocol" Follistim IUI. BFN.
May 2012 - Diagnosed activated natural killer cells and told we'll NEVER conceive naturally... *treatment break*
October 2015 - IVF #1. OHSS. Freeze all. 9 blasts on ice.
November 2015 - FET #1. BFN.
January 2016 - Holy *NATURAL* BFP!!! WTF?! First ultrasound 2/1/2016. Praying for a healthy sticky baby. <3
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Postby candjbaby » Sat May 07, 2011 1:02 pm

yes i would want to do at least one ivf but the for the cost adoption is looking better and with ivf the baby would be us together i feel. it might seem crazy.and i think my hubby is tired of seeing me hurt to be a mommy . i just am looking for more opinions
me-25
DH-31
living with a ostomy since 2005
HSG- 4-15-11 showed both tubes blocked
waiting on June 21 for RE appointment is there a ticker for that?

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Postby socialite_baby » Sat May 07, 2011 1:12 pm

It's not crazy at all! :D I completely understand. With adoption we're guaranteed a baby or our money back and we have the tax credit so we would see the majority of our money again anyway. With IVF you generally don't (some places do) get a refund if you don't end up with a baby. Technically adoption is cheaper in the end, but the process is so nit picky (with good reason) that I don't even know if DH and I would qualify any time soon!

Are you looking to do domestic or international? Newborn or older? Any specific race?

DH and I are most interested in domestic newborn adoption, most likely african american. We also looked into state adoption, but the children are all over 3 and most of them were sibling groups and I just felt like I would be taking someone else's family. If they were younger I think it would be easier, but they were 3, 8, and 12.
Lindsay (Mild Endo, thin PCOS, Hypothyroid, implantation failure)
TTC #1 for 7.5 years...

April - November 2011 - 7 Rounds of 50 mg Clomid, 3 IUIs. All BFN.
February - March, June 2012 - 3 Rounds 5 mg Femara. BFN.
April 2012 - "Immune Protocol" Follistim IUI. BFN.
May 2012 - Diagnosed activated natural killer cells and told we'll NEVER conceive naturally... *treatment break*
October 2015 - IVF #1. OHSS. Freeze all. 9 blasts on ice.
November 2015 - FET #1. BFN.
January 2016 - Holy *NATURAL* BFP!!! WTF?! First ultrasound 2/1/2016. Praying for a healthy sticky baby. <3
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Postby candjbaby » Sat May 07, 2011 4:05 pm

race does not matter but i would like a infant. looking in to international and domestic my sil would like to do a international one together in china but i am just started looking in to it not sure of any of the requirements but with my sil other adoption she got the baby right after he was just born like minutes they called her when the birth mother went in to labor and it was a hour drive for her so it would be nice for some thing like that . so they have been there for ever milestone .
me-25
DH-31
living with a ostomy since 2005
HSG- 4-15-11 showed both tubes blocked
waiting on June 21 for RE appointment is there a ticker for that?

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Postby Laticauda » Sat May 07, 2011 7:19 pm

I have not kept up with this whole thread, and am pretty preoccupied but here's my reply.

My husband and I are applying to be foster parents for the state we live in. Once you are approved, you can adopt any "legally free" child. This means their parent's rights have been revoked and they are available for adoption. The cost is very little in court fees (the child has their own attorney, typically and will act on behalf of the child to have them legally adopted to you.)

You can state that you only want an infant. Sometimes there are very few foster homes willing to take an infant. I know it's not prestigious like through an adoption agency, but when you go through an adoption agency, you can spend all that money and end up without a baby in the end.

A girl I know did this, and May 2 was the date that her adoption was complete and now that little girl is all hers. They did foster two other infants before this last one, but it depends on what you think you can handle as far as which children you are willing to bring into your home.

I plan on fostering children from infant - middle school. Possibly older, I haven't decided yet. Safe foster homes are in high demand, and hard to come by. Maybe something you could think about. You can call your state's child protective services (or whatever they call it where you live) and inquire about their programs. You don't have to make a commitment until you are sure. The people that do this work would be happy to answer any specific questions you may have.
Raychel 28- PCOS, Hypothyroid, & Endometriosis
DH 26 - Above average numbers of fast, forward swimming sperm

Started TTC 2002
4-6-05 Miscarriage @ 8 weeks
1-24-08 Chemical Pregnancy
2-25-08 Miscarriage @ 5 weeks
Stopped TTC - couldn't handle anymore loss

NTNP(March '11) 4-10-11 Ectopic Pregnancy @ 7 weeks, Laparoscopy to remove products of conception and part of right tube
Dx'd: Hypothyroid May 5, 2011 Started Thyroid Meds May 6, 2011
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/Blindsided
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Postby candjbaby » Sat May 07, 2011 11:04 pm

we would not do the foster thing in our state you do not get to choose the children it might be a 17 year old that has been in trouble with the law to a baby thats mom is just having drug withdraw and does not want the baby today but maybe tomorrow so you can have a child a few days, months years and it be taken away and if you say you can not handle a bad or special needs child then you are out of the program . most of the people in my state do it for money not because the love to be a parent or a mom
me-25
DH-31
living with a ostomy since 2005
HSG- 4-15-11 showed both tubes blocked
waiting on June 21 for RE appointment is there a ticker for that?

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Postby SoCaliMom » Wed Jun 01, 2011 8:56 am

We adopted twice after blocked tubes meant NO biological kids. Though I sometimes wonder about IVF, and what could have been, I'm glad that I went straight to adoption. It's wonderful and my children fill my days with laughs and sunshine. Feel free to ask if you have any questions!
DS (13), DD (7), DS (4), DD (2)
Blocked tubes~Mom to #2, 3, and 4 through adoption

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Postby Coloradogirl » Thu Jun 02, 2011 8:26 pm

My husband and i are in the final stages of becoming foster parents and we are so excited! I dont believe any state or county can make you take a child you dont want. This was enforced greatly at our meetings. We will be certified for ages 0-2 but we still have the option of saying no to any placement if we feeli it is not a good fit. You can also accept only low legal risk cildren which are cases that look like they will almost lead to adoption. Granted it might take longer to receive a placement but the risk is so much low then straigt foster. We are straight foster with the intention to adopt while supporting reunification. Which may be hard for us if a baby goes home but we decided its not about us but its about helping children and families and if adoption comes up we will be thrilled. Oh and ive got to say the whole certification/ homestudy process was not nearly as bad as i thought it would be.
Me(26) Hubby (27) - TTC #1 since March 2009
Adopted our precious little girl April 2013!
Trying for #2 with mini IVF January 2014

TTC with male factor infertility
(4-16 mil with 50-80% motility and 2-8% morph)

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