Most annoying infertility comments

Any and all topics infertility-related, including treatment, emotions, and questions.

Moderators: unaffected, JessM, southernbelle, maddy

Re: Most annoying infertility comments

Postby vanjust14 » Mon Feb 10, 2014 7:02 pm

ashcha, wow...that is just awful. I haven't heard that one thankfully. I can't believe someone would say that, especially someone who has dealt with infertility.
Me: (Vanessa) 37
DH: 31
DS: 16


TTC since Sept 2012, Dx: Diminished ovarian reserve with mild male factor

08/13-12/13 5 rounds of 5mg Femara=BFN
01/14-10/14 relaxed cycles=BFN

11/16/14-11/23/14 75iu Gonal-F injections + trigger
11/24/14 IUI #1=BFN

4/21/15 :bfp:
Beta #1- 1,630
Beta #2- 7,616
Image
Image
User avatar
vanjust14
Girlfriend
Girlfriend
 
Posts: 1958
Joined: Wed Oct 23, 2013 12:37 pm
Location: RI

Re: Most annoying infertility comments

Postby BlackAngelPlayah » Tue Mar 11, 2014 7:22 pm

My BIL was talking to my husband about people waiting too long to have kids. Apparently 40 is too old and the kids are going to come out messed up and us eggs too old, etc.. I was just like.. B|

I'm 36 already, DH is 57. I'm like, thank you, Mr. Sensitive. :doh:

:baby: Jen :babydustg:
Image Image Image Image
Image
http://TheBabyChronicles-BlackAngel.blogspot.com

Me: 36, Super irregular cycles, possible PCOS
DH: 57, Recently diagnosed with Prostate Cancer :( , Has Chosen watchful waiting
TTC #1 :baby:
User avatar
BlackAngelPlayah
BabyDuster
BabyDuster
 
Posts: 111
Joined: Sun Jul 19, 2009 12:00 am
Location: Monticello, FL

Re: Most annoying infertility comments

Postby JLG80 » Tue Apr 01, 2014 8:23 pm

Hi, came across this post, hope you all don't mind, I heard one tonight to add to the list.....

"The world is such a scary place right now with all the tragedies that go on, so maybe you should consider yourself lucky that you can't get pregnant."

What the @&$!? Gritted my teeth through that one. Some people have no idea how insensitive they can be.
Me 35
DH 40
TTC #1 since April 2013
HSG April 2014
Dx PCOS, Rx metformin July 2014
Lap 8/14/14
9/14-Clomid, Ovidrel, & timed BD -1follicle: BFN
10/20/14 IUI #1 (Clomid & Ovidrel) 1follicle: BFN
12/8/14 IUI #2 (Clomid & Ovidrel) 2follicles: BFN
1/10/15 IUI #3 (Clomid & Ovidrel) 1 follicle: BFN
2/6/15 IUI #4 (Clomid & Ovidrel) 2 follicles: BFN
IVF May 2015 - cancelled due to high baseline estrogen levels, postponed to July.
Baseline scheduled 7/17/15.
Egg retrieval 8/2/15.
1 blastocyst transferred 8/7/15, 3 frozen.
BFP!! 8/15/15
8/18/15 Beta 563!
8/20/15 Beta 1022!
9/3/15 ultrasound ❤️ 118bpm
It's a GIRL!
JLG80
Girlfriend
Girlfriend
 
Posts: 633
Joined: Mon Feb 10, 2014 8:07 pm
Location: Missouri

Re: Most annoying infertility comments

Postby BlackAngelPlayah » Mon Apr 14, 2014 11:37 am

I mean no CLUE!! I'm not sure if they are oblivious or they just don't care what they say to people. :x

:babydustg:
Image Image Image Image
Image
http://TheBabyChronicles-BlackAngel.blogspot.com

Me: 36, Super irregular cycles, possible PCOS
DH: 57, Recently diagnosed with Prostate Cancer :( , Has Chosen watchful waiting
TTC #1 :baby:
User avatar
BlackAngelPlayah
BabyDuster
BabyDuster
 
Posts: 111
Joined: Sun Jul 19, 2009 12:00 am
Location: Monticello, FL

Re: Most annoying infertility comments

Postby Skippers86 » Thu Apr 17, 2014 1:47 pm

After my first miscarriage, when I returned to work my boss said to me "I'm so sorry, I know exactly what you're going through, I had tons of miscarriages before I had my kids. Or at least I think I did. I'm pretty sure I did."

Like she wasn't even 100% sure that she had ever had a miscarriage but she thought her experience was exactly the same as mine which required my first ever ride in an ambulance followed by a D&C. Yea, that's EXACTLY the same!
TTC #1 Since March 2013
Me 27, husband 28
Irregular cycles
Miscarriage #1 at 8 weeks August 2013 with D&C (blighted ovum)
Miscarriage #2 at 3 weeks October 2013 (after ruptured hemorrhagic cyst)

BFP 4/23/2014!! After first round of Clomid.
User avatar
Skippers86
BabyDuster
BabyDuster
 
Posts: 65
Joined: Sun Mar 23, 2014 5:31 pm
Location: Central Florida

Re: Most annoying infertility comments

Postby Happyfroggy » Fri Apr 25, 2014 3:38 pm

OH MY GOSH Skipper, your boss is an idiot! Like she's just assuming that anytime her period was late that maybe that was a miscarriage. What a freak!

I'm actually glad you bumped this thread again it's such a good one.

Since I'm in the closet, I don't get that many directed at me. However, I do find on this very board a lot of the newbies will post insensitive things without realizing it

"But have you tried INSERT WHATEVER*? We were trying for 3 months and then INSERT WHATEVER* and BOOM pregnant!"

possible words to insert: Fertilaid, Pinneapple core, Preseed, Ovaboost, Elevating your hips, Sex positions, yoga, acupuncture, prayers to specific saints, naked fertililty dance, etc

I'm not saying these things are without benefit, but please don't tell us long term TTCers that something so simple is a magic one size fits all cure one frankly, you got pregnant due to the right sperm meeting the right egg with the right timing and luck.
BFP on Friday Feb 3rd 2017 but ended in miscarriage at 7 1/2 weeks :(

Didn't chart this time, last time was TTC for over a year, BFP chart from daughter :D :
Image
My Ovulation Chart
User avatar
Happyfroggy
Girlfriend
Girlfriend
 
Posts: 1606
Joined: Tue Jun 04, 2013 3:43 pm

Re: Most annoying infertility comments

Postby Skippers86 » Fri Apr 25, 2014 6:55 pm

LOL Happy Froggy. I have tried to avoid the boards with newbies and stick to the "infertility" and "TTC greater than 12 months" board for that very reason. I remember one of my pregnant friends telling me how hard it was that it took FOUR months for them to conceive their child. I was like yeah, that must have been SO hard.
TTC #1 Since March 2013
Me 27, husband 28
Irregular cycles
Miscarriage #1 at 8 weeks August 2013 with D&C (blighted ovum)
Miscarriage #2 at 3 weeks October 2013 (after ruptured hemorrhagic cyst)

BFP 4/23/2014!! After first round of Clomid.
User avatar
Skippers86
BabyDuster
BabyDuster
 
Posts: 65
Joined: Sun Mar 23, 2014 5:31 pm
Location: Central Florida

Re: Most annoying infertility comments

Postby randapanda » Sat Apr 26, 2014 11:04 am

Ya my friend that was going to make her now husband of 3 months going on 4 get s vasectomy due to her not wanting to mc again and her having one tube is now 3.5 months along. She is in rehab and after gaining 40 lbs did a test due to no period and bam pg.....come on! :O
randapanda
Girlfriend
Girlfriend
 
Posts: 3617
Joined: Fri Jun 07, 2013 9:16 am

Re: Most annoying infertility comments

Postby randapanda » Sat Apr 26, 2014 11:08 am

Right before they got married this was the woman who announced that she was pg on Halloween last year and was not sure it was his and that I was stressing so much and it was why I wasnt pg yet. Let alone mind you she is still smoking to this day and without rehab would be in jail. Lost her job and just had a smile on her face when she told me this time of being og.
randapanda
Girlfriend
Girlfriend
 
Posts: 3617
Joined: Fri Jun 07, 2013 9:16 am

Re: Most annoying infertility comments

Postby stml » Sat Apr 26, 2014 12:08 pm

well for me I get the below comments from my co-workers!

"Wow.. you should feel happy that you don't have any kids yet.. you have so much time for yourself...!!"
"whom are you both earning for?" ( :shock: well definitely not for you! )
Last month we went for a two week vacation and when I came back to work, one of my colleague said "Oh you can go on vacations and spend on things you wish as you don't have any kids to spend on!"

My own sister 2yrs younger to me has got pg.. now its like for all my relatives the focus is on me & my DH... I get these comments very frequently...

"So, when r u going to have kids??"
Yesterday my aunt said "you are the first daughter in the family so we were expecting yours to be first grand baby for your parents!! :( (well any faster way to get a child! my sister is already 5months pg!)

well trying to keep positive thoughts.. I am sure I have answers for all this one day!
Good luck to everyone ttc! :luck:
Me: 27
DH: 29
TTC#1 since March 2013
Jan 2014: Diagnosed with PCOS :doh:
March 2014: Clomid 50mg & trigger shot - BFN
April 2014: 2nd round of Clomid 50mg 2-6days starting from 19/04 - BFN
May 2014: Round 3 of Clomid 50mg 2-6days starting from 18/05 - discarded due to slow growing follicles
June 2014: Unmedicated. Trying naturally! BFP - 16th July

Image
stml
BabyDuster
BabyDuster
 
Posts: 63
Joined: Tue Apr 08, 2014 8:06 am

Re: Most annoying infertility comments

Postby BlackAngelPlayah » Sun May 11, 2014 9:45 am

Sometimes I wonder if people are are cruel or just stupid. :doh:
Image Image Image Image
Image
http://TheBabyChronicles-BlackAngel.blogspot.com

Me: 36, Super irregular cycles, possible PCOS
DH: 57, Recently diagnosed with Prostate Cancer :( , Has Chosen watchful waiting
TTC #1 :baby:
User avatar
BlackAngelPlayah
BabyDuster
BabyDuster
 
Posts: 111
Joined: Sun Jul 19, 2009 12:00 am
Location: Monticello, FL

Re: Most annoying infertility comments

Postby maimee79 » Mon Jul 21, 2014 10:22 am

I'm glad I found this post, I have heard some of these myself, and I have to really resist the urge to punch someone! Most recently, in the middle of my most recent miscarriage over July fourth weekend, I tell my mil what's going on, and she says, "oh you should just stop trying."then proceeds to tell me every horror story she had ever heard about women who can't get pg. THEN, tells me about how Being an only child isn't so bad, because my hubby and I are both only children.... she has three brothers... OMG SHUT YOUR FACE!!! Thanks for letting me vent, that woman can drive my bananas
maimee79
BabyDuster
BabyDuster
 
Posts: 84
Joined: Tue Jul 01, 2014 10:05 am

Re: Most annoying infertility comments

Postby V-Cas » Tue Jul 22, 2014 9:37 pm

I joined this web site earlier in the week and apparently was posting in the wrong place. I went to the TTC forum cause well I am trying....I've also been trying for almost 3 years. So I'm looking for a group to go through the tww with and I found a group. Well as we are all talking there's a girl freaking out and stressing out wether she may or may not get her bfp....and she announces that this is the first month ever ttc. Really?.... Calm down and enjoy the process, if in a year you're not successful then worry. People like that really bother me.

I have a friend who struggled for 10 months, it was a struggle cause it took 10 months but she conceived naturally. Well when she announced on fb she mentioned about her struggle trying to get sympathy from others (it's what she does) while I'm sitting here like, really? You're really going to try and milk this when you know what I'm going through? Not to mention that through out her pregnancy and after her DD was born she went on and said how much she had prayed for this child, like I haven't prayed.
I'm not sure if people are insensitive or if I'm extra sensitive. I don't get offended if someone says something stupid and they don't know about my struggle, but if you know everything I've been through and you're still going to sit there and put salt on my very open wound....maybe you're not my friend.
Ummm....I think I'm done venting. Lol.
Married 4/2008
Ttc 3/2012
V-Cas
Friend
 
Posts: 16
Joined: Mon Jul 21, 2014 2:04 pm

Re: Most annoying infertility comments

Postby Happyfroggy » Thu Jul 24, 2014 3:33 pm

V-cas, no you are not overly sensitive...they are insensitive!

And the newbies on this site that would whine and complain and act like they'd been through so much and in reality had been trying 1-3 months. Honestly they used to (well still do) annoy me so much. Yes its frustrating to wait for something you want so bad but if you've only been trying a couple of months you need to adjust your expectations and not complain to those that have been trying significantly longer! As I think the it's pretty clear the core of this site are women that have been trying a significant length of time.

:babydustg: :babydustb:
BFP on Friday Feb 3rd 2017 but ended in miscarriage at 7 1/2 weeks :(

Didn't chart this time, last time was TTC for over a year, BFP chart from daughter :D :
Image
My Ovulation Chart
User avatar
Happyfroggy
Girlfriend
Girlfriend
 
Posts: 1606
Joined: Tue Jun 04, 2013 3:43 pm

Re: Most annoying infertility comments

Postby ana8284 » Fri Jul 25, 2014 6:22 am

The "it will happen when you least expect it" comment is particullary annoying yet comical in my situation as I am married to a woman and people who know me well and know that will still tell me that as if I'm going to have an immaculate conception or something.

In my relationship situation I also have people joke that "you should just fulfill every man's fantasy and have a threesome while you are ovulating". While I know most of them are joking, to me infidelity is not funny (no offense to anyone) and B. having an unsuspecting person father a child is no way of bringing a child into this world.

Also "if it is meant to be it will be" which I will say in most cases I agree with however is it meant to be that crackheads and child abusers have babies and people who actually will love and care for them cannot?

I also struggle with those who talk about how difficult the last "3 months" have been (again no offense as I know any given time is difficult while TTC when you want it so badly) but try going through multiple fertility treatments over the course of more than a year and being poked a proded and being so hormonal from the fertility drugs you could scream and then tell me how difficult it is.

Me-30- PCOS
DW- 31
Married 2009
TTC since 2012
IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/21- BFN, IUI #7 06/26-BFN
10/08 starts TWW with Known Donor!
User avatar
ana8284
BabyDuster
BabyDuster
 
Posts: 114
Joined: Mon Jul 30, 2012 12:00 am
Location: VA

PreviousNext

Return to General Infertility