Reaching out for help.

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Reaching out for help.

Postby cactuar » Tue Aug 01, 2017 1:22 pm

I haven't posted on a forum since I was a teenager so this feels a little weird. Sorry in advance for this TL;DR.

When you're TTC unsuccessfully, it feels like you're all alone in the world and everyone else around you is having babies and you are shrinking into this little bubble all by yourself. I don't want to feel like that anymore so I am reaching out for help and for people to talk to who are or have been (unfortunately) in the same boat as me.

A little background on me: I'm 29 & and my husband is 30. We're both pretty healthy and active. I was on birth control for most of our ten year relationship and came off it around March of last year when we decided it was time to start a family soon. During the time we've been TTC, every single one of my girlfriends has gotten pregnant and has had their babies. No exaggeration here; I've packed up at least twenty-five baby gifts in the last nine months. Anyone who has been in a similar situation knows the agony of seeing those baby shower invites and the feelings of guilt when you want to feel happy for someone you love but are insanely jealous of their happiness at the same time.

We went to a fertility specialist a few months ago due to my obsessive nature and did the routine tests. My RE told me that based on the answers to her questions, it was quite possible that I have endometriosis. I'd never heard of it before then but as soon as I began researching, I was 99% convinced that I have it. My periods are always very painful for the first couple of days: bowel pains that have me doubled over, nausea, and even vomiting a couple of times. I always assumed I just have "bad periods." We decided to keep trying rather than jumping into IUI or IVF since it still felt a little early.

We are now at a year of trying with no success. I am scheduling a laparoscopy for next month to hopefully diagnose endometriosis as the issue and have it removed. I don't know what will happen from there. I've read a lot of success stories online but I've also read a lot of stories where it just didn't work for people. I'm trying to keep a positive mind but I've mostly stopped talking to my girlfriends and have been avoiding all family events. Nothing like your aunt asking you in front of a room full of people when you're going to stop "messing around" and have a kid.

Thanks for anyone who took the time to read this. Any words of encouragement would be so appreciated. I know everyone's situation is different but I just need to be "around" people who can understand the toll this takes on a person and their relationships.
cactuar
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Re: Reaching out for help.

Postby Danaa » Tue Aug 01, 2017 1:47 pm

Hello and welcome!!
I have been where you are and I know the feeling too well!!
Hugs!!You are not alone in this journey,you don't have to "suffer " alone,i have found a ton of support and informations on here,the ladies are very kind and supportive.
I hope the laparoscopic surgery gives you answers and solutions.Had ur partner been tested?!
Good luck!!
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My Ovulation Chart
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Me 29
DH 31
After 3 years in which we tried everything we are doing IVF in Greece with Iakentro Athens.
Short Protocol with Bemfola and Cetrotide
19mature eggs and we have 9 day5 blasto.
FET#1 ended in a loss around 5 weeks
FET#2 ended in a loss at 22w due to IC,my boys will be forever in my heart .
FET#3 ?
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Re: Reaching out for help.

Postby cactuar » Tue Aug 01, 2017 3:16 pm

Hi Danaa, thanks for replying. Yes, he had a semen analysis done around the same time I did my testing. Nothing out of the ordinary there thankfully.
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Re: Reaching out for help.

Postby whoz » Mon Aug 07, 2017 5:54 pm

HI there,

I am also scheduling a lap in the next few months and hope they find something that they can fix I am hoping the same for you. This journey is incredibly sad and heartbreaking. Wishing you lots of baby dust.
Me: 31
DH: 29
DS born July 2015
TTC #2 since January 2016
BFP Sept 2016 after weaning DS
MMC at 12 weeks - Nov 2016 (baby passed away at 6 weeks)
Fertility testing March 2017. Unexplained secondary infertility.
Trying naturally (Preseed, SMEP, BBT, baby aspirin, progesterone, OPKs, Fertilaid, FertileCM and Ovaboost, etc) Dec 2016 - April 2017 - BFNs
3 rounds of clomid (50mg, 100mg, 150mg) with my first anov cycle, breakthrough bleeding and all BFNs - May - June 2017
Laproscopy (coming soon)

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My Ovulation Chart
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