I hate this

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I hate this

Postby mom2bret » Tue Apr 22, 2014 7:39 am

Just finished the 13th cycle of TTC and was soooo hopeful. Was on day CD31 with no sign of AF even had myself so sure that I had syptoms and then AF shows up today.

I'm 40 my husbands 40 we will have been married for a year this Sunday the 27th. I am getting the feeling that maybe I'm just not meant to get pregnant.

We don't have insurance that will pay for fertility testing. I was talking with a group of women and when I said that, there were numerous women that said since I couldn't spend a lot of money to get pregnant we shouldn't have a child. I already have a wonderful son and no, we don't have a lot of money but we have a decent life and we don't go without.

I'm doubting myself and my body so much today. Don't feel like facing anyone and can't stop crying. My DH tries to be supportive but he speaks without thinking. At least I hope that's what it is. He was getting so excited yesterday about the chance of us being pregnant. Then when I told him We weren't he wanted to know why I was late, what was wrong with my body? I don't know what's wrong with me except being too damn old, I just don't know!! I lost my mom 1 year ago and my dad 4 years ago and feel so alone now. I would talk to my mom right now if she was here.

I am so sorry to be so down I just can't think straight. To make mattes worse my husbands estranged daughter that refuses to see us because she doesn't want to live by our rules, just had a baby, she just turned 17 in December. And my DH just keeps saying that atleast there is a baby in the family. Great! :cry: he can't see her or the baby and I'm so sorry that I can't seem to give him a baby! Damn I hate this!!!
mom2bret
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Re: I hate this

Postby vanjust14 » Wed Apr 30, 2014 5:39 pm

Hello, I am sorry you are feeling so down. I felt the same way as you..that I was too old and why couldn't I give my DF a baby. Luckily I was able to have some testing done that was covered by my insurance, but not under the fertility benefit (which I do not qualify for). We found out DF has some issues with his sperm. So, I wouldn't get too down on yourself without knowing what is the actual cause of your infertility. I hope you can get some testing done, maybe to start you can look into how much the bloodwork and SA for DH will be? I know IUI is not nearly as expensive as IVF. IUI may be all you need, you never know! I know it is hard, but try to stay positive and I hope you get your baby soon!
Me: (Vanessa) 37
DH: 31
DS: 16


TTC since Sept 2012, Dx: Diminished ovarian reserve with mild male factor

08/13-12/13 5 rounds of 5mg Femara=BFN
01/14-10/14 relaxed cycles=BFN

11/16/14-11/23/14 75iu Gonal-F injections + trigger
11/24/14 IUI #1=BFN

4/21/15 :bfp:
Beta #1- 1,630
Beta #2- 7,616
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