Need to vent and ask for prayers

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Need to vent and ask for prayers

Postby Danielle0614 » Wed Apr 15, 2015 1:41 pm

My heart aches today. I keep remembering that moment when I heard those words, “I’m sorry, there’s no heartbeat”. At that moment in time, my whole body emptied of emotion. I sat there, breathless myself, not knowing what to do or say. Not understanding what I was feeling, what was happening or how I was going to cope with the death of my child. The only thing I have left is the pictures of my unborn child, the ultrasound image that has the words “baby” typed over it. 160 BPMs at 6.5 weeks pregnant. Then, at 10 weeks pregnant, nothing. I want those days back – before my baby died. I want so desperately to feel the growth of this child in my belly – but that will never be. My womb is empty. My soul is empty. My emotions are running high and the pain just won’t go away, not today. It is just 1 day shy of the devastating news and the pain that I feel today is no different from 364 days ago. I am feeling breathless, I want to run away from this feeling. I want to hide today. But instead, I just sit here, empty. Looking like a moron with no expression on my face.

I have been TTC now for over 14 cycles. 3 lost - one MMC, 2 CPs. I just need some words of encouragement to keep pushing forward. I need some positive vibes!

Thank you for reading and praying.
Me 41
DH 39
DS 18
DS 15
DS. 21mo
:angel: 4/2014
:angel: CP 10/2014
:angel: CP 12/2014

BFP - 8DPO April 30, 2015!!!
Beta #1 - 86 (13 DPO)
Beta #2 - 178 (15 DPO) 45.75 hrs doubling time
Beta #3 - 464.4 (17 DPO) 36.17hrs doubling time. :D

Image






Image
My Ovulation Chart


http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/3ec392
Danielle0614
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Re: Need to vent and ask for prayers

Postby Nick02 » Wed Apr 15, 2015 8:08 pm

You are definitely in my thoughts and I am sending positive vibes your way. I am so sorry for your losses. I can't imagine what you're feeling. I am the type of person who wants to help.... If I'm over stepping I'm sorry. Have you thought of doing something to memorialize your child? Maybe that would help? A coworker recently had a mc and they planted a tree in their yard to memorialize their unborn daughter. They named her and had a plaque made to hang. You could plant a garden. My coworker knew the gender and they named her Hope. I just want to relieve some pain. If this isn't for you I understand. I hope you never have to go through this again.
Nick02
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Re: Need to vent and ask for prayers

Postby stefknow » Mon Aug 17, 2015 8:23 am

I'm sorry for your loss. Please hang in there, everything will be just fine, all you have to do is not losing HOPE, and have faith!
stefknow
BabyDuster
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