I am a MESS

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I am a MESS

Postby abbylu927 » Mon May 11, 2015 8:28 am

Hi ladies.

I am so glad this board is here! I just need to get this off my chest. DH tries is best to be there but it's just different sometimes.

I miscarried over a year ago, my baby would've been due in November, and it would have been the first grandbaby on my side. Yesterday (Mothers Day, which is ALREADY hard enough) my brother and his wife came in from out of town. I have been suspecting they would get pregnant soon but anyways, at the end of gift exchanging, they give my mom a single card. Thats when I knew. She opened it and it said "The best moms get promoted to the best Grandma's." and had an ultrasound. I was CRUSHED. All I could do was sit there. Their baby is due in November. They have only been trying since December, got pregnant in February, and last week was the first time they saw a doctor. Then they said (in front of my DH and I) "we knew'd you would be excited since this is the first real grand baby." ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I wanted to stand up and punch both of them. I am crushed, defeated, angry, and just plain hurt. I've never cried so much in my life. My eyelids are literally swollen. And on top of that, now I feel like a huge jerk because my mom, knowing i was upset, asked me if i was going to be okay and I just started bawling right in front of her! I feel like I ruined Mothers Day. But how can some people be SO insensitive?!?!?
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Re: I am a MESS

Postby Moon_princess » Mon May 11, 2015 12:20 pm

Wow that was super messed up! :(
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Re: I am a MESS

Postby abbylu927 » Mon May 11, 2015 1:07 pm

I am glad I'm not the only one who thought that. :(
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Re: I am a MESS

Postby mybaby26 » Tue May 12, 2015 6:00 am

Thats super insensitive of them to even say that
and it even hurts more when its your family that does these things and expect you no to react to it.
its okay to cry, let it out because God has a plan for you and not matter how much or hard they try to impress yours
your blessing is gonna be even better ( trust and believe) prayer is the key .
sometimes for really great people some things come a little harder to get than others but when it do come its gonna be something to leave their mouths wide open.
am in a similar shoe as you.
but just keep your head up and no that nothing that is worth having comes easy to people that is worth having it
good luck to you an keep your head up and be strong
Me 26 DH 27 Married for 2.5 years together for 7years :)
Never had a BFP /TTC since FOREVER :(
Apirl 17/2015-Laparoscopy, hysteroscopy ,Dye, D&C & Ovarian Drilling
Found Scar Tissue,some Blocking my Fallopian tube
Laser removal of the scar tissue & Ovarian Drilling /HGS-showed No blockage tube clear!!
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Re: I am a MESS

Postby Danaa » Tue May 12, 2015 6:17 am

OMG that is so insensitive and mean!!!How did ur brother allowed her to say something like that?!If it was me I would have stand up and just punch her in her insensitive face,really I would!!!Some women are so mean and always on a 'war' with other women!!!Infertility and miscarriages are so comun but not everybody knows that!!!I know is hard to believe it but is going to be ok!!
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Re: I am a MESS

Postby abbylu927 » Tue May 12, 2015 8:00 am

Mybaby & Danaa-

Thank you!! You're words really help me feel better. I love having "friends" on here who know what I am going through and can help keep me above water. I wanted to scream at them. It was such a bad day for me!! But thank you for helping me feel better!!

BABYDUST!
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Re: I am a MESS

Postby Dragonflydream » Tue May 12, 2015 4:51 pm

I'm so sorry, family members can be so insensitive. My youngest sister called me once and Asked me if she could use the name i had chosen for my kid since after this long I wasn't able to conceive and she loved the name.... It killed me! I said it was fine, but inside of my heart is was devastated.

The people we love the most can do the most insensitive things at times.
I'm really sorry about your Mother's Day! I know things will change for us!! Baby dust your way!!!
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Re: I am a MESS

Postby abbylu927 » Tue May 12, 2015 7:58 pm

dragonflydream-

Oh my goodness!!! That is so sad. I am sorry!! I don't know how you did that. I would've freaked out. :( It's sad, the stuff we go through. It's hard enough not being able to get pregnant...but dealing with others is a battle in and of itself. :(
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Re: I am a MESS

Postby casi7787 » Thu May 14, 2015 7:22 am

I'm so sorry. Prayers for you. Look at this this way though, you will be her first daughter to give her a baby. That baby is her son's but born of another woman. When you have a baby you will be her daughter giving birth. Even if she gets to be there with her when that baby is born, watching her own daughter give birth is a whole different experience. Your brother's wife can't give her that, so know you always have that advantage. She won't love his any less but it's a different experience altogether. And yes, that was so rude and hurtful.
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Re: I am a MESS

Postby abbylu927 » Thu May 14, 2015 8:09 am

Casi- Thank you! I've never thought of it that way before. :) That helps me feel TONS better! I think I get so caught up in it, that's all I see- they are having the first. It's not a competition but it's always felt like one. I am the youngest, and I always get told I can't do this, can't do that, before anyone else.
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Re: I am a MESS

Postby casi7787 » Thu May 14, 2015 8:27 am

I have sisters. I understand jealousy and competition. All of our kids are different people though and we love them for those differences.

My son is left and my daughter middle. Others are much sisters.
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Me-28
DH-38
Married-5/1/15
DD-8/2006 & DS-6/2008 (mine from a previous relationship)
DS-3/1995 & DD 11/2000 (DH's non-biological children he helped raise in a previous relationship)
Have his DD some weekends
MC-1/2006 (DD's wombmate/s-natural multiple pregnancy)
MC-9/21/2013 4-5 weeks
TTC#3-since wedding-DH's 1st

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Re: I am a MESS

Postby casi7787 » Thu May 14, 2015 8:30 am

She also got a head start. That doesn't make my parents closer to hers. As a matter of fact my stepmom likes my daughter more than the rest of us. We're all chopped liver. Kind of kidding. Anyway. Just know yours will have their special place.
Me-28
DH-38
Married-5/1/15
DD-8/2006 & DS-6/2008 (mine from a previous relationship)
DS-3/1995 & DD 11/2000 (DH's non-biological children he helped raise in a previous relationship)
Have his DD some weekends
MC-1/2006 (DD's wombmate/s-natural multiple pregnancy)
MC-9/21/2013 4-5 weeks
TTC#3-since wedding-DH's 1st

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My Ovulation Chart

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Re: I am a MESS

Postby abbylu927 » Thu May 14, 2015 9:19 am

You kids are so cute!! You are completely right. And I will have my time. :) Thank again!! You really helped me to feel better. :)
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Re: I am a MESS

Postby casi7787 » Thu May 14, 2015 9:24 am

I'm glad. I know I don't fully understand the waiting part and how hard that probably is. But just know it's worth it. I don't even remember the pain of delivery. They have a way of erasing the bad.
Me-28
DH-38
Married-5/1/15
DD-8/2006 & DS-6/2008 (mine from a previous relationship)
DS-3/1995 & DD 11/2000 (DH's non-biological children he helped raise in a previous relationship)
Have his DD some weekends
MC-1/2006 (DD's wombmate/s-natural multiple pregnancy)
MC-9/21/2013 4-5 weeks
TTC#3-since wedding-DH's 1st

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My Ovulation Chart

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Re: I am a MESS

Postby abbylu927 » Thu May 21, 2015 11:49 am

Just thought I would update.

I got a BFP a week ago! I have had 3 beta tests.
11 dpo- 17 (progesterone- 45)
14 dpo- 96
16 dpo- 193

I have my first ultrasound scheduled next Friday the 29th.

I AM ECSTATIC!
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