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My heart is breaking

PostPosted: Tue Oct 06, 2015 6:41 pm
by tinyfairypeople
I got a surprise bfp yesterday at 13 dpo and went for a beta. I got the call today that it was only 11.8. Less than an hour later I went to the bathroom and am having light pink bleeding. I'm not stupid. I know that with a beta this low and spotting it means I'm going to miscarry. My heart is breaking. I didn't think another baby was going to be in the cards for me and was already getting excited for this little one. We will not be ttc again so this is my last chance gone. I'm just in a haze of grief and disappointment right now. I guess I should go and enjoy the last few hours that I have left before the process picks up and my little one leaves me. It's just so hard to not be torn apart by grief.

Re: My heart is breaking

PostPosted: Tue Oct 06, 2015 6:47 pm
by Wishfull
I am so sorry for what you are going thru. Praying for you.

Re: My heart is breaking

PostPosted: Wed Oct 07, 2015 11:28 am
by dbliz
So sorry to hear what you are dealing with! It is very sad. I'm praying that maybe its still implanting and not signs of miscarriage! Keep us posted. Try to stay positive! :)

Re: My heart is breaking

PostPosted: Wed Oct 07, 2015 4:42 pm
by tinyfairypeople
Thank you both. Well I had my 2nd beta today and it doubled like it was supposed to but I'm still spotting and cramping. The nurse said everything was normal and it's probably implementation bleeding. The only cause for concern is the pain I'm having. I have a 3rd beta scheduled for this weekend. I am a wreck right now. I cried for a long time after I got off the phone. I am still majorly on guard. I still feel like it could go either way. If the bleeding stops, I will feel a whole lot better but right now I don't trust that everything is ok.

Re: My heart is breaking

PostPosted: Fri Oct 09, 2015 6:48 am
by stefknow
I understand it's hard but try to be positive. I believe a positive thinking can change many things. Cheer up. We are all here with you.

Re: My heart is breaking

PostPosted: Tue Oct 13, 2015 11:21 pm
by tinyfairypeople
I just wanted to come back and give an update. My 3rd beta came back at 20, so my hcg stopped rising. I lost the baby a couple days later. I'm still bleeding and just having a really hard time. Thank you for all of the kind words and support.

Re: My heart is breaking

PostPosted: Wed Oct 14, 2015 3:27 pm
by bbe
I'm so sorry. I also recently had a miscarriage. betas were good but ultrasounds were not. I did ivf and can't afford that anymore. I hope you get your sticky bfp soon.

Re: My heart is breaking

PostPosted: Sat Oct 17, 2015 10:22 am
by tinyfairypeople
Bbe I'm so sorry for your loss. I will be praying for all of us on this site, for comfort for those who have lost their little ones, that those who are trying would be gifted wit out interventions, and that those who are expecting would have healthy and safe pregnancies and babies.

Re: My heart is breaking

PostPosted: Sun Oct 18, 2015 7:49 pm
by LauraK369
I'm so sorry. I am going through an early miscarriage as I type this. After 3 years of trying to have a baby, I had one blissful week of pregnancy before it was all gone. Both the infertility and the miscarriage have hurt and scarred my heart. I hope you can find healing and support from those around you. <3

Re: My heart is breaking

PostPosted: Mon Oct 19, 2015 11:58 pm
by tinyfairypeople
Oh Laura, I can only imagine how devestated you must be. I'm so sorry you lost your little one. I had a week of pregnancy also. I've found myself feeling angry that I didn't get know I was pregnant during my tww because that was 2 weeks I had with my baby that I didn't even know. I wished I could have known so I could have gotten more time.

Did you name your baby? My boyfriend and I decided to name our little one because to us it was our child that we loved and are grieving over. We felt out baby deserved to be honored and recognized. We named it Finley Eden.