in need of a hug

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in need of a hug

Postby happyheart » Fri Oct 30, 2015 3:00 pm

Hi everyone,
I haven't been on here for some time, and I have recently finished my 3rd unsuccessful round of ICSI treatment, which has left me a bit of a wreck. The first two attempts my DH and I never got past egg retrieval as my eggs were not good enough quality, but this time, I made two good, eggs, and had one
grade A, beautiful embryo put back in. I had so so much hope in it working that my world really came crashing down this time when it didn't.
Its been a few weeks of tears, and I am starting to feel a bit more 'normal' again. However my problem is this. I think my best friend is pregnant. I don't see her very often as we live a long way away from each other but tomorrow I go to visit her for the weekend. Several weeks ago she text me telling me she was at the hospital in the waiting room, and there ewas a nun sitting opposite her and she had never seen a nun at the doctors before. I text back and asked if everything is ok, and she said, yes its just a check up, and she would tell me about it when she saw me next ( which is tomorrow )
I know she came off the pill over a year ago, and she told me she wasn't even sure whether she really wants children or not and that if it happens then fine, and if it doesn't then fine too.
I really want to be happy for her, but I worried I am going to burst into tears, as I am still so so emotional at times. I wish she had just told me over the phone, then I could just congratulate her and have a bit of time to deal with it myself before I saw her. I am just not ready to cope with a weekend of baby talk at this stage.I have wanted to be a mother since I was 21, and now I am 40! Sometimes it just hurts so much when the treatment doesn't work.
I know there is a chance I have got it all wrong, and the hospital appointment could have been something else entirely. I just want to speak to other people who understand how I am feeling right now. knowing there are other people out there that understand really does help. Any words of wisdom would be gratefully received! xxx
Me 40, history of endometriosis on bladder
Laparoscopy to remove endo March 2015-successful!
Low AMH level low ovarian reserve
DH 45 LSP/ low motility
2/14 Failed ICSI
5/14 failed ICSI
next ICSI - hopefully June 2015

taking Dhea, co Q 10, acupuncture
alcohol free, caffeine free, soya free , meat free diet
happyheart
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Posts: 37
Joined: Fri Mar 07, 2014 3:58 pm
Location: London, England

Re: in need of a hug

Postby happyheart » Fri Oct 30, 2015 3:01 pm

i meant to mention, I am in the uk, so our prenatal appointments are often in same dept as general gynae appointments in case you are wondering why a nun would be in the same waiting room!
Me 40, history of endometriosis on bladder
Laparoscopy to remove endo March 2015-successful!
Low AMH level low ovarian reserve
DH 45 LSP/ low motility
2/14 Failed ICSI
5/14 failed ICSI
next ICSI - hopefully June 2015

taking Dhea, co Q 10, acupuncture
alcohol free, caffeine free, soya free , meat free diet
happyheart
Member
Member
 
Posts: 37
Joined: Fri Mar 07, 2014 3:58 pm
Location: London, England

Re: in need of a hug

Postby Wantbaby#3 » Sat Oct 31, 2015 10:01 am

A big hug for u!!! My dh and I have been trying unsuccessfully to conceive for about 3 yrs.. Granted we both have a child or 2 from previous relationships.. But I was his first real love that being when I was 11 now 32 and it kills me that we haven't been successful completing our family.. Now my best friend is pregnant and it kills me every time she talks about it which has been since I sat there while she pee'd on the stick.. My best advice is b happy for her.. Cry to urself later I kno it's hard but as much as u want it.. Its not her fault n she and the unborn still need and want all ur love n support
Wantbaby#3
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Posts: 19
Joined: Mon Oct 19, 2015 12:53 am

Re: in need of a hug

Postby happyheart » Sat Oct 31, 2015 4:20 pm

Thank you so much for replying Wantbaby #3 , it's always good to talk to other people who understand. So sorry to hear you are having to deal with something similar, that must be so hard for you xx you are an amazing friend to have been right there with her from pee stick until now! So big hug to you too!
Yes you are right, we do have to be happy for others, it's to their fault, and they are there for us too. Friendships are precious.
Thank you for your kind words, I do hope you get your much wanted baby soon, baby dust to you!
Me 40, history of endometriosis on bladder
Laparoscopy to remove endo March 2015-successful!
Low AMH level low ovarian reserve
DH 45 LSP/ low motility
2/14 Failed ICSI
5/14 failed ICSI
next ICSI - hopefully June 2015

taking Dhea, co Q 10, acupuncture
alcohol free, caffeine free, soya free , meat free diet
happyheart
Member
Member
 
Posts: 37
Joined: Fri Mar 07, 2014 3:58 pm
Location: London, England


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