Worn out by societal pressures.

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Worn out by societal pressures.

Postby MaybeBabyM » Sun Nov 08, 2015 7:17 pm

Why on earth do people think its okay to ask a young woman or young couple about their baby making plans. I have been trying to concieve for a year now and me and my husband are getting worn down and less and less hopeful, and we are only to be met with questions from friends and relatives about when are we going to have kids, how many kids, etc etc. There is a small possibility i might have endometriosis and having a family is literally the most important thing to me, and i have dreamed about it for ever. I never thought it would take this long, or that i would have issues limiting my ability to conceive. I'm terrified and theni'm constantly being asked if i have kids, when will i have kids. The other day, the day i started my period i was waiting in line at a store and while waiting i was rocking/swaying back in forth, this woman out of nowhere asked if i had just had a baby, ( this was day one of my period). I was crushed already to have gotten my period and then to be asked what may seem innocent but made me want to cry. She thought i had a baby because maybe I had developed a habit of rocking back in forth, from rocking my baby. Worst feeling ever. And ever other day theres another pregnancy announcement on my facebook, its quite literally killing me, I am on cd 7 and I said i wasn't going to stress of "try" this month to ease some stress and pressure but its like the world is mocking me.I know thats rediculous but eveyrwhere i turn theres a reminder that I haven't had a child yet. Its even affected my husband, hes not open about it but in a weak moment and discussion about it yesterday we both got emotional and he even told me that he made an appointment to get check out just in case. He is convinced he will be the problem but i'm pretty sure it will be me with endometrisos. Both of us are just so worn out. :(
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Re: Worn out by societal pressures.

Postby Kandii » Sun Nov 08, 2015 7:26 pm

I'm sorry to hear you've been struggling so much! :hugs:

I went through something similar immediately after I had a miscarriage. It was my first pregnancy and it ended. I totally get where you are coming from. We had lots of family pressure because we were the last couple out of my hubby's family to start TTC.
The best you can do is just take it one day at a time. And make sure to take care of yourself! Try to do something special for yourself each day. Its like a fun challenge (and helps pass the time while TTC!).
Hopefully you are able to get some answers. :babydustb: :babydustg:
~*TTC since October 2013*~
BFP Dec 29, 2013 / Blighted Ovum Jan 23, 2014 (8w5d) / MC Feb 5, 2014 (10w4d)
Got my rainbow BFP July 19th, 2014!
DS born March 24th, 2015

~*TTC #2* shhh :shh: it's a secret!~
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Re: Worn out by societal pressures.

Postby blooop » Sun Nov 08, 2015 8:34 pm

I'm so sorry that woman asked you such a rude question. I can't believe it! People don't think before they talk.
I hope you get some good news soon.

Me: 23
DH: 29
#1 due August 22, 2016

TTC Diva
TTC Diva
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Re: Worn out by societal pressures.

Postby IndigoBirds » Tue Nov 10, 2015 8:12 am

My husband and I have been together for 5 years, and people have stopped asking. I always say things to make jokes like "oh, we're just going to get 4 more dogs. Another kid is too much." Or "We've decided to devote our lives to the Hare Krishnas and sell everything" and time people start pressing. I get a lot of laughs about it, but in truth I've been intensely private about our struggles. I'm 34 now, and DH is 41, so I think people think we're not going to, and I can't bear the idea of anyone having the gall to ask me anymore.

Chin up! Focus on the good things you've got going on right now. View this process more abstractly, which might help with the anxiety, and stress. I've started to view it that way, and it's helped me compartmentalize it so I'm not so worked up about it.

Just my thoughts. Take care!
DH: 41 (vasectomy)
Me: 34 (fertile, possibly low progesterone. Tested @ 4.6, healthy range is 5-10)
Married 4 years, together 5 years.
I have: 6 yo son -- He has: 19 yo daughter
Together we have: 2 ridiculous love-absorbing dogs

TTC since Oct 2015 with donor sperm via IUI. 27-30d cycle
1st IUI: 2nd Oct non-medicated/ not monitored, bfn
2nd IUI: 27th non-medicated/not monitored, bfn
3rd IUI: 27th Nov/monitored ovulation, prescribed 100mg Clomid, cd3 for 5 days
4th IUI: 29th Nov/monitored egg release (6 follicles, 4 mature eggs, released 4 eggs. Gulp!) -- still no confirmation. Dying here!
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Re: Worn out by societal pressures.

Postby MrsRoulette » Sat Apr 16, 2016 3:16 pm

Indigo birds, I hear you!my dad stopped asking. I checked MIL so I seldom get it from family now. Just random not so close acquaintances who feel the need to yap about our lack of 'progress'. I tell people who am I to demand a blessing from God? Who am I think I'm deserving when it's only by grace and His own timing?
DH are enjoying these first 5 years together deeply connecting and it would prolly be different if we had gotten preggo right away. Keep your head up. Praying for you.
Been TTC Since Dec 2011
Hubby's SA: motile density. 10% (60% or greater is good) My Cycles: 32 days. 29 with femara
1st round of Clomid June 2013 (cd5-9). On cd 21, prog level 26.1 BFN
2nd round of Clomid July 2013 (cd5-9). On cd 21, prog level 29.1 BFN
April 14, 2016 IUI - BFN (Femara 5 mg day 3-7), Ovidrel Trigger) 1 follie.
May 1-6, 216 Femara 7.5 mg (day 3-7). One small follicle. Cancelled cycle
May 30th, 2016 - Femara 7.5 mg (day 3-7). + Gonal F Injections 150 iu (day 7-12)- 22.5,16.7, 9 mm follies
Ovidrel day 12, IUI day 13 06/09/2016 BFN
FertileCM, Fertility Blend, herbal fertility tea from Kenya - BFP!!!!!!
We prayed, hoped, waited for our little miracle. Now God has started in me the miracle of creation. So blessed!!
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Re: Worn out by societal pressures.

Postby Rosebud78 » Mon Apr 18, 2016 5:05 am

I'm sorry you are going through this. We had to go through it and took over 2 years to get to this point after 2 miscarriages and worst still everyone asking when we were having children. Did it occur to anyone that we were trying but failing! My SIL And her husband got married and had a child before us so that made it worse. In the end with the help of IVF we managed to get where we are now. We are not out of the woods yet but in a better position than we were a year ago.

We did all the tests and no one could tell us why we failed to get pregnant successfully.

We know what you cannot believe that it will ever happen but it will. You will become a mother and all this will be a distant memory.
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