Just need to vent & cry out loud

This is the place to visit if you need the strength of prayers from your community of friends. Visit often, and receive encouragement to support you in your time of special need.

Moderators: JessM, southernbelle, maddy, unaffected

Just need to vent & cry out loud

Postby nadyaramlan » Thu Jan 14, 2016 11:02 am

I've been posting few questions to this site with no one even bother to answer. So here I am again today, just need to vent. It's okay if you don't feel supporting me. I totally understand.

We did our third IUI yesterday. It was short since DH sperm is low, super low. We've never had sex since...months ago, or even a year ago since he has thyroid issue and sex is just a torture for him. I get it and am not needy or beg for one. So our OBGYN suggested us to do it 2 days before IUI. We tried and he just could not perform.
Even on IUI Day, it took him forever to ejaculate.

Due to his low sperm count, our OBGYN suggested to have sex the night or the morning after. And again, he just can't do it. I feel so numb. I am so disappointed. I've been wanting to have kids since years ago but he doesn't like kids so he keeps saying no kids is better, or just do IVF treatment. However, he also complains because I am a freelancer and not working in the office, my annual salary is low. We ended up arguing and I have told him I can't get stress after IUI. He just doesn't want to understand. He keeps blaming me for not working in the office. Otherwise, I can help him pay for IVF treatment. It's so stressful and time is ticking. I'm losing more eggs and this month we tried our chances by producing 4 eggs at once. It is painful.

I wish I could turn back time.... I wish God performs His miracle with his low sperm count.
Posts: 6
Joined: Wed Nov 25, 2015 9:46 am

Re: Just need to vent & cry out loud

Postby FurbabyMomma » Fri Jan 15, 2016 12:33 pm

Hi Nadyaramlan,

I am so sorry if you do not feel support. I have no experience with IUI yet as I cannot afford it. My DH and I have been trying for a couple of years. Unfortunately, we can only try on our own as our finances are very low. We both want to have a baby and he keeps saying stop stressing over it and it will happen. :roll:

Your situation is very hard and I am so sorry you are going through that. It is hard to go through TTC with a supportive partner. It must be so much more stressful with someone who is not as supportive or understanding. Maybe you should think about IVF as an alternative given your DH's medical issues. It is another expense though.

Whatever you decide, please stay strong and know that you are not alone. :hugs:
It will happen for us in time. We need to have faith that our time will come to hold our own bundle of joys.
Me (Vee): 44
DH: 35
NTNP since June 2013
Actively TTC #1 since October 2014

Two Furbabies: Peppa (Pitbull) and Gidget (Kitty)

Posts: 56
Joined: Wed Jan 14, 2015 12:04 pm
Location: New York

Re: Just need to vent & cry out loud

Postby happyheart » Sun Jan 24, 2016 11:52 am

Dear Nadyaramlan, and also Furbaby momma!

I am sending out a massive hug and positive vibes!
It is so hard going through this. Especially when you don't have anyone to talk to about it.
Most of my friends have children and although they are very kind and always ask how I am, I know they don't really understand how it feels.
My Dh and I have had 3 failed IVF/ICSI treatments over the last two years and hoping to try again with donor eggs for the first time next month. I am grieving the fact that what ever happens now, if we get lucky, It will have been with someone else's egg, not mine. Unless, a little miracle happens this month. Fingers crossed.
Please stay strong, its hard I know, but we must not give up hope. Try not to let your DH comments get you down. I am sure he doesn't realise how much it upsets you. And feel free to vent when ever you want!
it is healthy to get things off your chest sometimes.
all the best, xx
Me 40, history of endometriosis on bladder
Laparoscopy to remove endo March 2015-successful!
Low AMH level low ovarian reserve
DH 45 LSP/ low motility
2/14 Failed ICSI
5/14 failed ICSI
next ICSI - hopefully June 2015

taking Dhea, co Q 10, acupuncture
alcohol free, caffeine free, soya free , meat free diet
Posts: 37
Joined: Fri Mar 07, 2014 3:58 pm
Location: London, England

Return to Emotional Support & Prayer Requests