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SIL is pregnant

PostPosted: Sat Aug 27, 2016 8:41 pm
by 40ttcstill
My SIL and I have both been ttc for a while now. Her for about a year and me for over 3. After a m/c, they finally did ivf and are now expecting twins. I am trying to be outwardly supportive and show my joy for them, but at the same time I am crushed at my own lack of joy. Now they feel like I'm not "happy" enough for them and Refuse to even acknowledge the difficulty I am having with my emotions. Am I just being too sensitive??

Re: SIL is pregnant

PostPosted: Thu Oct 13, 2016 7:04 pm
by Roxy_girl
I know you posted a while ago, but I wanted to let you know that I read your post and I completely understand your feelings. I can count at least 5 people that have gotten pregnant recently, and none of them are me. Every time, I express happiness for them, and I am happy for them, but it is also gut wrenching to see people who didn't even try get surprised by a pregnancy. I know it's jealousy, but I have been trying for a 17 months with no positives and no known fertility issues. It's depressing.

Re: SIL is pregnant

PostPosted: Mon Oct 17, 2016 5:35 am
by faithrock
Years ago I was on this site while ttc my daughter and ladies - jealousy was real then and its real now. It is not easy like ppl warn us as kids bout getting pregnant all the time. Junk is hard for some people. And watching others walk around pregnant or look at you and not get why are not....(deep breath) :roll:

It hurts. And true friends/family that care will share the burden with you. You are not bad ppl for not being able to will up unfailing happiness for others. No one knows how long it will take them to conceive but until it does, all you can do is bond with those who understand where you've been and are now. I'm not saying hate on other ppl but don't dwell on those who can't understand your pain and don't give up. :hugs:

Re: SIL is pregnant

PostPosted: Tue Feb 21, 2017 5:51 pm
by Kulabk
I know exactly how you feel. We've been ttc since March 2015 and my SIL got a Bfp one cycle off the pill. She's around 14 weeks. Then just this last week a friend who wasn't even trying (she and her hub were just "leaving it up to chance") tells me she's 6 weeks.

I just had my first round of IUI (clomid and a trigger shot ) on 2/16 so I'm deep in the horrible 2 week wait and desperately wanting to "keep up" with them. I know it's not a race but somehow I still feel like I'm losing.

It's the worst. It's good to know we're not alone in these feelings, gals.

Re: SIL is pregnant

PostPosted: Thu Feb 23, 2017 4:17 pm
by SJFL412
So understand. My sister is pregnant with her fifth. And worse, not a single one of her pregnancies has been planned. I'm trying to mental disconnect her fertility from mine because I recognize that it's not the same but I'm not happy for them. They can't afford another child and I'm so sad for their current kids. Keep thinking I could be such a better parent.

You can be happy for them and still sad for yourself. They may just not know what to say, but they should recognize it's not easy for you.

Re: SIL is pregnant

PostPosted: Sun Apr 16, 2017 3:33 pm
by SandiFranky
My best friend since fifth grade just had twins naturally at 38, two other close friends just had babies, two cousins had babies, and my Godson has a baby now. I purposely booked a trip to Boston last summer so I wouldn't have to go to my best friends shower. I just couldn't deal. However she did reach out to me and she was crushed and started crying. So I took her out shopping for the baby and had a spa day with her. It hurt her just as much to not have me there.