Heartbroken

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Heartbroken

Postby Krissaten » Sat Feb 25, 2017 12:48 pm

I just need to vent...I'm not looking for advice, it's just that I've gotten to the point where I can't get this off my chest to anyone I know without being pitied. Which makes it all feel worse, really. TTC over 2yrs now. Unexplained infertility. Obgyn believes I have mild PCOS but nothing that should affect my ability to conceive at this time. I've changed my lifestyle and lost 40+ lbs. Had tons of blood work, ultrasounds and an HSG done recently. Normal. Inconclusive. Clean scans. No cysts. Started clomid this cycle, today being 11dpo. Had every symptom in the book and I felt like my BFP would be any day now. But today I got AF. I can't stop crying. I feel so empty. And guilty. My SIL is 8 mos pregnant and the thought of going to her shower in two weeks...my stomach just turns. I already know I'm going to have a hard time keeping it together and pretending to be cheerful. I'm happy for her and excited to have a nephew, but. You know. I'm 31, I don't want to be an older mother like my mom was for me. I feel time running out, and options dwindling given my insurance won't cover an RE. It just feels like I've got nothing left to give anymore, today. Thanks for letting me vent...
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Re: Heartbroken

Postby Danaa » Sat Feb 25, 2017 1:17 pm

Hello there,I'm sorry to hear about AF,I remember how painful that was especially after having tons of symptoms.
31 is not old and you still have time but I do understand what ur trying to say.
Has ur DH had an SA?if not he should.
Have you thought about IUI or IVF?I knew those can be pricey but believe me is worth every penny this coming from someone who is now 13weeks pregnant with twins from IVF,it took two tries but here im happily pregnant .
Hugs to you and I want to tell us that ur not alone.
Image
My Ovulation Chart
.
Me 29
DH 31
After 3 years in which we tried everything we are doing IVF in Greece with Iakentro Athens.
Short Protocol with Bemfola and Cetrotide
19mature eggs and we have 9 day5 blasto.
FET#1 ended in a loss around 5 weeks
FET#2 ended in a loss at 22w due to IC,my boys will be forever in my heart .
FET#3 ?
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Re: Heartbroken

Postby idm179 » Mon Sep 11, 2017 10:00 pm

Danaa wrote:Hello there,I'm sorry to hear about AF,I remember how painful that was especially after having tons of symptoms.
31 is not old and you still have time but I do understand what ur trying to say.
Has ur DH had an SA?if not he should.
Have you thought about IUI or IVF?I knew those can be pricey but believe me is worth every penny this coming from someone who is now 13weeks pregnant with twins from IVF,it took two tries but here im happily pregnant .
Hugs to you and I want to tell us that ur not alone.


Yes, we understand how you feel right now. and 31 is not old. according to me its the perfect time. God has a plan for everything and he must have thought something for you that will prove itself better than as you thought it should be. Hugs to you. And if you feel like vent more. Go on put it down here it feels good to blurt it out.
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Re: Heartbroken

Postby kruddlopez » Thu Sep 14, 2017 1:17 pm

:cry: :cry:
I could just cry for you because I have felt the exact same way so many times over the past 2 years! It's so hard to explain them to other people, then listen to their (well-intended) sympathy and advice. "Just keep trying", "Pray about it", "It will happen"! It's like you're literally so tuned in to your body that if you even cough funny you're like I need to note that lol! So many people don't understand what a toll TTC & everything that goes into it takes on you mentally and physically.

The best advice, even though you aren't asking for it (hehe), I could give you is to let yourself feel this way for a day or two, let yourself be mad, sad, angry, frustrated, pissed-off, scream WHYYYYYY a couple times and then get back at doing everything you were doing TTC before. I know for me I have put TOO much time, effort, thought, money, etc into this to give up until I have our baby in my arms! That's the end goal! Focus on what you're doing this for! But first, let yourself feel how you feel, its okay, its 100% okay to feel that way, its the hardest journey I've ever been on, but it will also be the most rewarding!

Always here if you need to vent! Right there with you! (My sister is 5 months pregnant & I am throwing her shower :roll: , so happy to be an aunt, but also a little sad it isn't that easy for us!)
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