Heartbroken

This is the place to visit if you need the strength of prayers from your community of friends. Visit often, and receive encouragement to support you in your time of special need.

Moderators: JessM, southernbelle, maddy, unaffected

Heartbroken

Postby Krissaten » Sat Feb 25, 2017 12:48 pm

I just need to vent...I'm not looking for advice, it's just that I've gotten to the point where I can't get this off my chest to anyone I know without being pitied. Which makes it all feel worse, really. TTC over 2yrs now. Unexplained infertility. Obgyn believes I have mild PCOS but nothing that should affect my ability to conceive at this time. I've changed my lifestyle and lost 40+ lbs. Had tons of blood work, ultrasounds and an HSG done recently. Normal. Inconclusive. Clean scans. No cysts. Started clomid this cycle, today being 11dpo. Had every symptom in the book and I felt like my BFP would be any day now. But today I got AF. I can't stop crying. I feel so empty. And guilty. My SIL is 8 mos pregnant and the thought of going to her shower in two weeks...my stomach just turns. I already know I'm going to have a hard time keeping it together and pretending to be cheerful. I'm happy for her and excited to have a nephew, but. You know. I'm 31, I don't want to be an older mother like my mom was for me. I feel time running out, and options dwindling given my insurance won't cover an RE. It just feels like I've got nothing left to give anymore, today. Thanks for letting me vent...
Krissaten
Member
Member
 
Posts: 47
Joined: Wed Aug 17, 2016 2:28 pm

Re: Heartbroken

Postby Danaa » Sat Feb 25, 2017 1:17 pm

Hello there,I'm sorry to hear about AF,I remember how painful that was especially after having tons of symptoms.
31 is not old and you still have time but I do understand what ur trying to say.
Has ur DH had an SA?if not he should.
Have you thought about IUI or IVF?I knew those can be pricey but believe me is worth every penny this coming from someone who is now 13weeks pregnant with twins from IVF,it took two tries but here im happily pregnant .
Hugs to you and I want to tell us that ur not alone.
Image
My Ovulation Chart
.
Me 29
DH 31
After 3 years in which we tried everything we are doing IVF in Greece with Iakentro Athens.
Short Protocol with Bemfola and Cetrotide
19mature eggs and we have 9 day5 blasto.
FET#1 ended in a very early loss,chemical pregnancy.
FET#2 ended in a loss at 22w due to IC,my boys will be forever in my heart .
FET#3 MMC at the 10 weeks ultrasound.
FET#4 2018
Danaa
Girlfriend
Girlfriend
 
Posts: 10058
Joined: Wed Nov 12, 2014 5:54 am

Re: Heartbroken

Postby idm179 » Mon Sep 11, 2017 10:00 pm

Danaa wrote:Hello there,I'm sorry to hear about AF,I remember how painful that was especially after having tons of symptoms.
31 is not old and you still have time but I do understand what ur trying to say.
Has ur DH had an SA?if not he should.
Have you thought about IUI or IVF?I knew those can be pricey but believe me is worth every penny this coming from someone who is now 13weeks pregnant with twins from IVF,it took two tries but here im happily pregnant .
Hugs to you and I want to tell us that ur not alone.


Yes, we understand how you feel right now. and 31 is not old. according to me its the perfect time. God has a plan for everything and he must have thought something for you that will prove itself better than as you thought it should be. Hugs to you. And if you feel like vent more. Go on put it down here it feels good to blurt it out.
idm179
Newbie
Newbie
 
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon Sep 11, 2017 9:44 pm

Re: Heartbroken

Postby kruddlopez » Thu Sep 14, 2017 1:17 pm

:cry: :cry:
I could just cry for you because I have felt the exact same way so many times over the past 2 years! It's so hard to explain them to other people, then listen to their (well-intended) sympathy and advice. "Just keep trying", "Pray about it", "It will happen"! It's like you're literally so tuned in to your body that if you even cough funny you're like I need to note that lol! So many people don't understand what a toll TTC & everything that goes into it takes on you mentally and physically.

The best advice, even though you aren't asking for it (hehe), I could give you is to let yourself feel this way for a day or two, let yourself be mad, sad, angry, frustrated, pissed-off, scream WHYYYYYY a couple times and then get back at doing everything you were doing TTC before. I know for me I have put TOO much time, effort, thought, money, etc into this to give up until I have our baby in my arms! That's the end goal! Focus on what you're doing this for! But first, let yourself feel how you feel, its okay, its 100% okay to feel that way, its the hardest journey I've ever been on, but it will also be the most rewarding!

Always here if you need to vent! Right there with you! (My sister is 5 months pregnant & I am throwing her shower :roll: , so happy to be an aunt, but also a little sad it isn't that easy for us!)
kruddlopez
Friend
 
Posts: 8
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:54 am

Re: Heartbroken

Postby Alice6 » Thu Aug 16, 2018 9:42 am

Hey dear, don't get sad. I am glad you went smoothly. Keep trying. At least you have started your treatment. I am confused in choosing the clinics. Recently I had contact with the worst clinic named Adonis. It is a nightmare. Whenever I think my body shivers. I had a severe accident last year. My body has recovered but I am infertile now. I contacted this clinic. I got a quick reply. I was happy that the clinic is good. On my visit, I was shocked. The clinic had no advanced tools. The machinery was not update. Everything was so messy there. Everyone was busy in there own stuff. The doctors were inexperienced. They showed be rude behavior. My mind was really disturbed. They didn't satisfy me. I left it and went away. I will advise you all not to visit this clinic.
Alice6
Friend
 
Posts: 12
Joined: Thu Aug 09, 2018 3:57 am

Re: Heartbroken

Postby cindywoolfe » Mon Aug 20, 2018 4:34 am

Hey, honey. I hope you're doing alright. I'm really sorry to hear about your situation. Please don't lose hope, though. 31 is NOT old! I conceived through IVF at the age of 34! So don't give up. You can do this.
cindywoolfe
BabyDuster
BabyDuster
 
Posts: 51
Joined: Sun Mar 18, 2018 11:31 am

Re: Heartbroken

Postby rozianaa » Wed Aug 29, 2018 7:45 am

I am so sorry to know about this. Handle the situation wisely and calmly. I really appreciate you for all this. Don't lose hope sweetheart 31 is not old. We just have to handle the situation calmly. Better things are coming. You should not lose hope have faith you will be blessed soon. Prayers are with you, dear. Take care.
rozianaa
Member
Member
 
Posts: 25
Joined: Thu Jun 21, 2018 7:29 am

Re: Heartbroken

Postby hannahdavid » Fri Sep 28, 2018 5:59 am

Hey, I hope you are okay. I can totally understand that this must be very hard! Going through unexplained infertility is even more frustrating because you have no idea what to do next. It is a journey full of ups and downs. I think you should consider assisted conceptions. These treatments these days are highly successful. They especially work out the most for the people suffering from unexplained infertility. I would suggest you search up on them. When initially I was diagnosed with poor ovarian reserve about 5 years ago at first I thought my world had come to an end. However, then my family and I started searching on these treatments. The mistake I made was that I got in touch with a doctor in a hurry and started the process. After so many cycles failed for me I realized how big of a mistake I made. So now when I visited the doctor I first went through his documents and made sure he had a high success rate. ALways, see if the doctor is experienced in this field or not. Good luck to you, don't lose hope.
-Low AMH and High FSH
-Poor Ovarian Reserve
-5 IUIs (failed)
-1 IVF (failed)
Life is a total mess
hannahdavid
BabyDuster
BabyDuster
 
Posts: 113
Joined: Tue May 22, 2018 4:03 pm

Re: Heartbroken

Postby mimimama » Wed Oct 17, 2018 8:16 am

I can't help with any dir experiences, but I know what you are feeling and wish your dreams come true really soon.
Me 31, DH 40. TTC 5 years. Unexplained infertility.
December 2015- IVF #1 BFN
May/June 2016- new doctor, IVF consultation in Gdansk Poland
October 2016- IVF #2 Invicta BFP!!!
mimimama
TTC Princess
TTC Princess
 
Posts: 160
Joined: Thu Oct 22, 2015 8:34 am
Location: London/NY/Warsaw

Re: Heartbroken

Postby hannahdavid » Mon Nov 12, 2018 2:18 pm

This post makes me emotional. I find myself in a very similar boat. Things when are not working out you feel so frustrated and broken. Previous years of my life have been so hard that now nothing seems good. I recently started visiting a clinic. They are doing an amzing job but I am always afraid. I am glad to have found a clinic which actually understands me but it is always so scary. Hoping for the best for all.
-Low AMH and High FSH
-Poor Ovarian Reserve
-5 IUIs (failed)
-1 IVF (failed)
Life is a total mess
hannahdavid
BabyDuster
BabyDuster
 
Posts: 113
Joined: Tue May 22, 2018 4:03 pm


Return to Emotional Support & Prayer Requests