Joining the group.. sadly. :( I now have an angel.

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Joining the group.. sadly. :( I now have an angel.

Postby Trevorsmommy » Tue Apr 05, 2011 2:20 pm

Well we are not officially TTC again YET.. but we plan be in the near future. I figured I would introduce myself since I will be stalking. I just recently (March 11th) delivered a perfect baby boy we named Aiden Paul who was stillborn due to the umbillical cord being wrapped very very tight around his neck twice, thus cutting off the blood flow. He was delivered at 39 weeks, the same day I was supposed to be having my scheduled induction.

And here's my story:
Everything was going great throughout the entire pregnancy. I was considered high risk because I was on blood pressure meds - but baby was perfectly healthy. I got up early the morning of the 10th to make it to my last prenatal check up. Every checkup I was having a non-stress test, quick ultrasound to have my amniotic fluid levels checks (it was on the higher end of normal so they kept a close eye on it) and my visit with the dr. Well I had noticed that I hadn't felt baby move that morning, but it was early and I was only up for an hour before I was at my appointment, and he did have quiet times since I was so close to the end. I went in for my NST and they couldn't get the heartbeat (which was odd since every other time it was loud and clear!!) I was nervous.. they sent me over to the ultrasound room and thats where I saw it before they even had to say anything. His heart wasn't beating. There I was.. the day before my scheduled induction and everything fell apart. They couldn't see anything wrong on the ultrasound and figured at delivery they would find that it was an cord or placenta issue. We went in that evening to the hospital to start the induction process. Everything as far as labor and delivery went smooth, pretty much pain free as they were able to up the medication since there was no health risk to baby. I delivered Aiden at 8:01am Friday morning March 11th. And it was obvious that it was due to the cord even to my hubby and mom who were there by my side for delivery. Didn't take a Dr to figure this one out. DH was able to cut the cord, but he said that the cord was wrapped SO tight around the neck that the dr had a hard time getting his finger underneath to be able to cut it off - and they had to cut if off before they were able to get him completely out. Doctor said this definately would have cut the blood flow off. They figure that Aiden passed the night before my appointment, since I had felt him move during the day.

But Aiden was perfect. 10 fingers, 10 toes. 20" long and 8#5oz. Lots of dark hair. He was just sleeping. I held him and even though I knew he was already gone, I watched and waited for him to move, to breathe.. even though I knew it wasn't going to happen. We had our time to say our goodbye's. I was nervous too but now I am VERY glad that I got to hold and kiss my baby boy. Hardest part was saying goodbye... although I didn't actually say goodbye - I kissed his face and promised him I would see him later. And we had to leave empty handed.

We had a funeral and buried our angel that Sunday.

Its been over 3 weeks now and we are doing pretty good. I definately have my moments where I break - but we are healing. I thank God for our 5 year old son Trevor - he is what keeps us going. He is sad that his baby brother had to go to heaven...but he keeps us smiling and positive. If it wasn't for my wonderful husband, family and friends I definately wouldn't be where I am now. We did have chromosome testing done just to make sure it wasn't caused by something else and all the tests they ran on the blood and placenta came back normal - so it was for sure the cord.

I find comfort in knowing that my baby got to go right from one warm loving place to another - never knowing any pain, not even a chill from the cool fresh air. I know he is in heaven watching over us, and that someday I will get to hold him again. Until that day comes though I will think about and miss him every day!
Me:28 :love: DH: 30
DS#1: 7
DS#2: (3.11.11) Stillborn at 39w.
DD#1: She's Here!! 3.16.12
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Trevorsmommy
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Postby 35ttc » Tue Apr 05, 2011 3:27 pm

I am so sorry for your loss...((hugs))
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Postby ladybearne2 » Tue Apr 05, 2011 4:23 pm

I am so sorry for your loss. You will always have an angel watching over you.
Becky
Miss K- 11/5/2009
Miss L- 2/17/2012
Prince A - 8/25/2015

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Postby goobermom » Tue Apr 05, 2011 4:57 pm

((((hugs)))) to you and your family during this difficult time!
me (34) husband (41)
son (14), spoiled cat
TTC since August '08
Clomid/IUI x3; Follistim/IUI x3
natural BFP- M/C :(
Low Vitamin D, High FSH
Letrozole, TI, progesterone, estrace- BFN (x4)
High FSH, RE recommending donor egg
End of our TTC journey???
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Postby HawkeyeGirl16 » Tue Apr 05, 2011 7:43 pm

:hugs: I'm so sorry about your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Me: 28 DH: 30
We're TTC a little brother or sister for Mason! (Shh FB friends)
My blog: http://ttcwithpcosrpl.blogspot.com
PCOS, adenomyosis, RPL, & IC
7/09-8/10: Multiple cycles of IF medications
4/26/10 :angel: 8w3d
7/26/10 :angel: 5w0d
RPL testing: elevated anticardiolipin IgM
1/7/11: Triplet angels 19w4d due to IC Cadyn :angel: Adalyn :angel: Mikayla :angel:
5/24/11: :angel: 4w3d
6/21/11: :bfp: #5 Shirodkar cerclage & 17p
:hb: Our miracle baby Mason arrived safely 2/22/12 :hb:
October 2013: BF?
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Postby Nique88 » Sat Apr 09, 2011 6:30 am

omg i broke into tears reading your post im so sorry for your lost im praying for you and your family :(
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Postby peppersta » Mon Apr 11, 2011 3:16 pm

Trevorsmommy,

My heart just breaks for your loss. My loss was at 12 weeks and it felt unbearable, so I cannot imagine your pain. There are no words to express my sorrow for you, but I am sending you all the good wishes, prayers and hugs that I can!

I am so glad that you have supportive family and friends to help and a little angel still with you to cheer you up!

Keep us updated with how you are doing!
Off pill Aug. 1, 2010 BFP Nov. 14 2011 Ultrasound revealed miscarriage Jan. 13, 2011 D&amp;C Jan.20, 2011, BFP April 14, 2011&nbsp;Check out my blog: www.lifeandtimesofpsa.blogspot.com
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