TTC after miscarriage last year and terrified :(

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TTC after miscarriage last year and terrified :(

Postby aacbus » Tue Mar 19, 2013 9:59 pm

I'm 28 years old and my husband and I have been married four years. We weren't even trying last January and just got pregnant but then I miscarried in March and had to have a D&C. It was the worst thing because I signed up on a bunch of websites and still get free samples and magazines in the mail and had bought baby clothes (just a few cuz I was excited).

We took it easy for awhile but are now actually TTC and this is my first run at the TWW and it's awful! I can't take it, not only am I terrified I won't get pregnant and have to go through this for months or I will get pregnant and miscarry again or drive myself crazy 13 weeks thinking I will miscarry again.

My AF was Feb 22, I'm expecting it again on March 23, I tested today and got a BFN but I know it's too early, I just couldn't wait. I have no symptoms at all except headaches, but that could be cuz I'm not sleeping and stressing.

Please help! If you have success stories after a miscarriage or are in the same boat, I'd love to hear your thoughts!
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Re: TTC after miscarriage last year and terrified :(

Postby MercyC » Tue Mar 19, 2013 10:21 pm

I don't have a success story, but I know how you feel. I'm in my first TWW since my second mc. I'm worried if I get pg again, it won't stick. How far along were you?

My first mc was a surprise pregnancy too, for me I think that made it harder. But lots of women have one or even two mcs and go on to have healthy babies. The odds are definitely in our favor. I won't get too excited about a pregnancy until I'm confident it's healthy, though. With both my pregnancies, the hormones didn't go up like they sound have. One made it to 12 weeks without ever registering positive on an hpt, and the other gave super faint positives for over a week, then nothing, then I miscarried at 5 1/2 weeks. If I get a bright BFP, or make it to an ultrasound, I think I'll feel much better.
No longer TTC, but sticking around for moral support and mah friends!!
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Re: TTC after miscarriage last year and terrified :(

Postby Jelleke » Wed Mar 20, 2013 6:39 am

Hi there, first of all sorry that you had to go through that. It's horrible and I genuinely believe no one can comprehend the feeling of loss and the pain we went through without going through it themselves. I was also horrified with all my pregnancies after that my first miscarriage at 10w in April last year. Unfortunately things haven't worked out for me yet. But I can tell you that even after everything, I'm still trying. I'm still not giving up, although I've been in some really dark places this last year. I already know that any pregnancy I might have that will go on to joy us with a perfect healthy baby, is going to be really terrifying. I will not be at ease at all, I already know that. I will live from day to day and hope with all my heart that things progress accordingly. I also know that I won't relax until I have that baby in my hands. But it's something that I accepted. I truly believe that the hard times are making me going to be a better mother. You can't take anything for granted.

I have done tons of reading about miscarriages and RPL and what not. Only 30% of all conceptions make it to a healthy baby. And the general consensus is that the majority of women go on to have a healthy pregnancy after a miscarriage or consecutive ones in these times. Whether naturally, or with help. There's no reason to believe you will not have a healthy pregnancy this time around. I won't say that you shouldn't stress, because I know you will not, I just want to make sure you don't give up hope.

Good luck!
Me 31 - DH 41

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M/C @ 9w4d on April 29, 2012
Early Loss on July 7, 2012
Early Loss on August 9, 2012
Early Loss on September 7, 2012
Early Loss on October 5, 2012
Early Loss on January 7, 2013

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Re: TTC after miscarriage last year and terrified :(

Postby aacbus » Wed Mar 20, 2013 8:20 pm

Thank you so much for your help, I'm so sorry to hear about your losses. I was 9 1/2 weeks before I started to spontaneously miscarry, but didn't find out until the ultrasound, it stopped progressing after five weeks.

It helps to know I'm not alone and I know the statistics that I should have a healthy pregnancy, it's just hard not to think the worst.

Thank you so much and please keep in touch when it works out for you. I think I need other ladies to help me keep sane during this time, lol. My husband is great but don't think he quite understands. My heart goes out to you guys and thank you again for your responses, they made my night to know others care!
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Re: TTC after miscarriage last year and terrified :(

Postby eribear » Wed May 22, 2013 5:35 am

Mercy C- ours was a surprise, too, DH was away with the guys and we thought we missed our window. We were so excited to get our BFP, only to lose it a week later. How're all of you on here doing? Any BFPs? How have you dealt with the fear once you get one (or of never getting one?)?
Proud mommy of twins xoxo
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Re: TTC after miscarriage last year and terrified :(

Postby MercyC » Wed May 22, 2013 10:54 am

Still nothing here. We're in our 7th month since my IUD was out and I'm pretty sure I'm out this month. I was out of town for the first two weeks of my cycle, and even though I was supposed to O much later (like CD 15-21), my temps are too high since I've been back so I'm pretty sure I O'd while I was gone.

As for dealing with it, I'm not really. I just try not to think about what I'll do if I never get a BFP. There are limited fertility treatment options for us because our insurance doesn't cover anything fertility related. So if we go another four months with no baby, I don't know what we'll do. The hardest milestone for me was hitting the halfway point to long term TTC. When we started it felt like 12 months was so far away, there's no way it'll take us that long. And then we got pregnant in January and I was so relieved. But now that we're closer to 12 months than to zero with no sign of success, it's feeling more and more like we're running out of time.
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