The pain

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The pain

Postby mexicanchick718 » Tue Aug 13, 2013 2:22 pm

Does the emtional pain every go away? I have just felt so blah. All i want to do is sleep and hope my body goes back to normal. I breakdown so easily and its so not like me. I am (was) very strong in it took a lot to make me cry. I know its been a month and i thought i would be over it but the feelings not going away. What have you ladies done to help??
Me: 26 DH: 28
IUD removed: 9/12/12
BFP 5/28/2013
:angel: @ 9wks on 7/11/13
BFP#2 9/23/2013

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Re: The pain

Postby eribear » Fri Aug 16, 2013 5:27 am

I'm asking myself the same question, every day. Every time AF comes, I think about what life should be like right now. Every time someone announces they're pregnant, I think of our little angel. It's the most miserable, stressful thing ever....helpful, I know. The worst part is, no one understands unless they've been there.
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Re: The pain

Postby mexicanchick718 » Fri Aug 16, 2013 8:35 am

Yup. I feel the same. Its like everyone is going well you had a 1 in 5 changes and its very common. That's easy to say until it happens to you. I never thought it would happen to me. My moms family is super fertile. My dh though...m/c is super common. Not sure if that has anything do with it. We also are battling a sperm issue. It was a miricle i got preggers. The month we found out we had a sperm issue i got pregnant. I am just waiting for AF to show up already to start trying over again.
Me: 26 DH: 28
IUD removed: 9/12/12
BFP 5/28/2013
:angel: @ 9wks on 7/11/13
BFP#2 9/23/2013

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Re: The pain

Postby eribear » Fri Aug 16, 2013 11:35 am

I feel lucky & unlucky. We stopped bc in January and planned to start trying in May- the only reason we weren't planning on trying in April was DH was away during O time. We BD'd the day he got back and bam- BFP. Only to have it taken away. I feel like while it was the best accident ever, it changed everything and threw off all of our timing. It was so easy, which actually makes it 10x harder that it's not happening again. We've tried to relax, we've tried to temp, we've tried CM, we've tried lots of things in this short period of time, but deep down I'm convinced there is something wrong........
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Re: The pain

Postby mexicanchick718 » Fri Aug 16, 2013 1:08 pm

I want AF to show so badly! DH thinks im nuts. Its annoying i have not idea what my body is doing.

As for your situation though, are you getting +opks?? If you are think about have a sperm analysis done. Most insurances cover it and its super easy. I know some men are not willing. Mine had not problem and gave them the same right there at the hospital.
Me: 26 DH: 28
IUD removed: 9/12/12
BFP 5/28/2013
:angel: @ 9wks on 7/11/13
BFP#2 9/23/2013

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Re: The pain

Postby eribear » Fri Aug 16, 2013 3:12 pm

I haven't tried OPKs yet, just temping, but have O-pains, temp spikes, the works. My first set of OPKs comes tomorrow to try next week. Pre m/c I was a clock, and it looks like I'm becoming clock-like again, or so I hope.

I'll suggest that to DH....he's pretty open. Just hard to believe we got pregnant on not even our first try and now can't do it again. I also am swiching doctors and have an appt in SEptember-- took three months to get one. My original office had a pretty heartless nurse practitioner who upset me pretty bad.
Are you considering an RE once you hit the one year mark? Do you consider your IUD removal 1 year?
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Re: The pain

Postby MEL66325 » Sat Aug 17, 2013 4:47 pm

I hear you on the pain - it is almost unbearable. I just found out on Monday and had a D & C the same day. It was three weeks before we found out the baby died, and I think that's the hardest part for me. My poor little angel died and I carried on as if nothing had happened.

I was laughing and talking to the baby, praying over it, and he/she wasn't even with me any longer. I couldn't comfort them before they died and I'll never get to tell them I love them.

My belly had begun to swell and now I look down and...nothing. Just flat stomach where my baby once was. I can't stand it.

It is so hard...I would never wish this on my worst enemy. This is worst than losing a loved one, I think, because you have lost a piece of yourself, a PERSON created out of love between you and your spouse.

I have comfort knowing that my child is with God, but I also know that I will forever miss my baby and I will always wonder who he/she would have become. March was when the baby was due and I think I will always hate March now. It is too much of a reminder of what I lost. :(
ME - 37 DH - 40
DS1- 11
8/12/13 - :angel: (MMC 11 weeks; D&C) My angel, forever in my heart and always on my mind, Mommy loves you...can't wait to meet you in Heaven!
4/22/14 - :bfp: our rainbow baby
8/12/14- It's another BOY!
DS2- Owen Lane arrived 1/2/2015 :baby tumble:

Will we have another?? Praying for God's will and following His direction for our lives. We shall see!
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Re: The pain

Postby eribear » Sun Aug 18, 2013 10:31 am

So sorry, Mels. I thought the same thing- that I would never wish this on my worst enemy. It is the most devastating feeling to love someone you haven't even met & love them so much.
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Re: The pain

Postby MEL66325 » Mon Aug 19, 2013 8:13 am

I'm sorry for your loss too, eribear. I'm sorry for anyone who has ever lost. I truly am...

Are you back to trying to conceive again? My husband and I want to start right away. I just had the D & C a week ago today. I finally quit bleeding yesterday...but on Saturday I lost this huge piece of tissue. It totally freaked me out. I guess that's normal since I quit bleeding shortly after that and I feel just fine, physically that is.

I go for my f/u on Thursday for the D & C. That was actually supposed to be my 12 week appointment, but now it is a miscarriage f/u. I was supposed to hear the heartbeat on the Doppler since we didn't hear it at my 10 week appt. Now I know why I didn't hear it, my angel was sleeping in Heaven.

I think we are going to wait one full cycle before we begin again. I'm hoping it will happen fast. I can't stand this empty feeling.
ME - 37 DH - 40
DS1- 11
8/12/13 - :angel: (MMC 11 weeks; D&C) My angel, forever in my heart and always on my mind, Mommy loves you...can't wait to meet you in Heaven!
4/22/14 - :bfp: our rainbow baby
8/12/14- It's another BOY!
DS2- Owen Lane arrived 1/2/2015 :baby tumble:

Will we have another?? Praying for God's will and following His direction for our lives. We shall see!
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Re: The pain

Postby mexicanchick718 » Mon Aug 19, 2013 8:44 am

Eribear, sorry for the delay in responding. We have already been to an fertility doctor. It was the same month we got our BFP. When i was supposed to start my period i was supposed to go in for all these testing. I was not going to wait 1 year before someone paid attention to me. My money and insurance is just as good as everyone elses. I am a very pushy person. Thats how i actually found out my baby had died. I just felt off and they kept telling me to wait two more weeks. I DEMANDED they see me. It was at that appointment (two days later) that they told me the baby had already passed and my body just hadnt realized it yet.

Mel-Im so sorry for your loss. Last week was the first week I can actually say emtionally was alright. I even went to a baby shower and was good. No tears. Before all i could think about was losing my baby. Im actively trying even though i have no idea where I am at in my 'new' cycle. Wish. Opks are showing i possibly ovulated last wkend. Perfect timeing since we db all three days. Just waiting..like always.
Me: 26 DH: 28
IUD removed: 9/12/12
BFP 5/28/2013
:angel: @ 9wks on 7/11/13
BFP#2 9/23/2013

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Re: The pain

Postby delightfuldoula » Mon Aug 19, 2013 2:01 pm

MEL66325 wrote:I hear you on the pain - it is almost unbearable. I just found out on Monday and had a D & C the same day. It was three weeks before we found out the baby died, and I think that's the hardest part for me. My poor little angel died and I carried on as if nothing had happened.

I was laughing and talking to the baby, praying over it, and he/she wasn't even with me any longer. I couldn't comfort them before they died and I'll never get to tell them I love them.

My belly had begun to swell and now I look down and...nothing. Just flat stomach where my baby once was. I can't stand it.

It is so hard...I would never wish this on my worst enemy. This is worst than losing a loved one, I think, because you have lost a piece of yourself, a PERSON created out of love between you and your spouse.

I have comfort knowing that my child is with God, but I also know that I will forever miss my baby and I will always wonder who he/she would have become. March was when the baby was due and I think I will always hate March now. It is too much of a reminder of what I lost. :(



I was due March 11'th 2014 and found out we lost the baby on the 10th but I went through 'labor' and passed the tissue on the Monday the 12th, a week ago today.Baby only measured 6.5 weeks but I was 9.5 weeks when I found out baby didn't make it. I have 5 healthy children and people seem to think I should just be happy with what I have but a loss is a loss. We named our baby Jordan. We made a little box and filled it with keep sakes like the announcement I made to dh to tell him I was pregnant, a pair of pink and a pair of blue baby socks I bought,I also wrote a letter to our baby telling it that we loved him/her and talked to them while they were here, how excited we were about them and how they would always be loved and have a place in our family things like that. I am still bleeding and just want it to totally be over with. I will never forget our little angel but for the healthy of the family I am trying to look forward. The baby was due 4 days after my 30th birthday. I think it will be a hard birthday this year.
Me 30 DH 35
Vasectomy July 29/2009
Reversal Dec 19, 2011
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DD JULY 11 2006
DS Sept 13 2007
DD Nov 29 2008
DD Jan 17 2010

DS Nov 29 2012
DD July 11, 2014
Angel baby Aug 9 2013
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Re: The pain

Postby eribear » Mon Aug 19, 2013 3:13 pm

We waited a cycle to start trying again....even now it's super emotional every time AF comes. Between typical hormones and missing out on the whole pregnancy experience, it's just draining. I'm on CD 9 right now and finally feel hopefuly vs. distraut. The ups and downs are exhausting.

MC--- We don't have any infertility coverage, so I'm trying to be patient. I just receive my paperwork from my new ob-gyn, can't wait to meet them and get more info.
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Re: The pain

Postby sarah03sch » Mon Aug 19, 2013 3:46 pm

I am 5 1/2 months since my miscarriage of my 12week old baby boy Caleb. And I just shed some more tears today. I was thinking of my due date which is less than a month away. Thinking that's going to be a rough day! Would love to celebrate that day with a positive pregnancy test! Here's to hoping!!
Everyone is different but this is how I have coped with my loss....It was after the first month and I just started sharing my story with everyone that would ask about it. *not all the details* I feel that talking about it and being open about it with my family and friends has really helped me. I still have my days where it's all I can think about. Then I have those days where I think about him but I keep pushing on knowing that I will be blessed again with another baby. I have to think like this or I'd be a depressed mess still!
I didn't shed a tear for about 6 hours after my miscarriage. I think I was in such shock of what was actually taking place that I didn't quite comprehend it for a while.

So here I sit less than a month from my due date with him....been trying since April....still not pregnant. I hear/read that "You are so much more fertile after you have a D&C" and think really?!?!?! I had a D&C. My husband has started questioning if they could have messed something up with the D&C since I'm not pregnant yet and I'm starting to wonder. I hate being pessimistic about it! The only thing that's different since the D&C is that I'm now regular and have an exact 28 day cycle. Before I never knew when Aunt Flow was coming or how long she'd be around.

@Mexicanchick....don't beat yourself up over being too emotional! You've lost something that you've wanted so bad! I told you how I've coped with mine by telling my story many times. We also have a small "shrine" for lack of better words in our house for him. I bought a blue frame from Hobby Lobby and have his 2 ultrasound pictures in there and put some stickers on it that say Our Angel Caleb. Behind his frame sits an angel that my mom got me after my miscarriage. We just had family pictures taken with my side...when it was my husband and I's turn we got our picture taken holding our frame of our baby! He was and will always be a part of us. We will never forget him. Don't give up! :)

@Eribear....it truly is the worst pain! I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy! I'm sure everyone that's ever been through a miscarriage has said that exact same thing. I'm new around here...what are OPK's? I'm just guessing ovulation something kits? I'm thinking since we've been almost 6 months with no luck we need to try something else to help.
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Re: The pain

Postby MEL66325 » Mon Aug 19, 2013 5:25 pm

I was due March 11'th 2014 and found out we lost the baby on the 10th but I went through 'labor' and passed the tissue on the Monday the 12th, a week ago today.Baby only measured 6.5 weeks but I was 9.5 weeks when I found out baby didn't make it. I have 5 healthy children and people seem to think I should just be happy with what I have but a loss is a loss. We named our baby Jordan. We made a little box and filled it with keep sakes like the announcement I made to dh to tell him I was pregnant, a pair of pink and a pair of blue baby socks I bought,I also wrote a letter to our baby telling it that we loved him/her and talked to them while they were here, how excited we were about them and how they would always be loved and have a place in our family things like that. I am still bleeding and just want it to totally be over with. I will never forget our little angel but for the healthy of the family I am trying to look forward. The baby was due 4 days after my 30th birthday. I think it will be a hard birthday this year.


I was due on March 3, 2014. It is amazing how similar our stories are! I also went three weeks without knowing our little one passed away. We both lost our babies on Monday, August 12. You passed yours naturally and I had a D & C. That was a horrible day for us both.

My baby made it to the eight week mark and the ultrasound picture showed a perfect 8 week fetus. It looked just like a little gummy bear with arm and leg buds and I could even see the shape of the head. It looked exactly how it should have at eight weeks. It should have been exactly eleven weeks when we found out it had passed. It makes me sad to see that picture because I know our baby was gone, but I kept it anyway.

I too made a box for my baby keepsakes. I kept my pregnancy sticks and the note I wrote to my husband announcing how God was sending us another blessing. My OBGYN also gave me a pregnancy journal to keep up with my symptoms and such and it is in that box, as well. I, too, wrote a letter to our baby. I also told our little one how much I loved them and would forever miss them and how March would never be the same for me again. It would always be THEIR month. I guess it did help to bring some closure for me, though my heart still aches like nothing I could have ever imagined.

I finally stopped bleeding yesterday and I swear I'm seeing EWCM today. Scant, but there. I won't be trying to conceive this month, though. I plan to wait for one cycle at least before we try again.

I hope you all get your rainbow babies. I really do. I don't think we will ever forget our children that we lost, but I think a new baby would really help to ease the pain and the loss that we feel so deeply.
ME - 37 DH - 40
DS1- 11
8/12/13 - :angel: (MMC 11 weeks; D&C) My angel, forever in my heart and always on my mind, Mommy loves you...can't wait to meet you in Heaven!
4/22/14 - :bfp: our rainbow baby
8/12/14- It's another BOY!
DS2- Owen Lane arrived 1/2/2015 :baby tumble:

Will we have another?? Praying for God's will and following His direction for our lives. We shall see!
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Re: The pain

Postby MEL66325 » Mon Aug 19, 2013 5:30 pm

Mexicanchick - I'm glad you are starting to heal emotionally. A baby shower is a big step! I don't know that I could have done it without crying. I really hope that you and your husband get your take home baby. I have been praying for all of you ladies on here. God is good, we just have to wait upon Him. And that is certainly not easy to do. But the best things in life are definitely those that we waited for! And we are sure not to take it for granted, right?
ME - 37 DH - 40
DS1- 11
8/12/13 - :angel: (MMC 11 weeks; D&C) My angel, forever in my heart and always on my mind, Mommy loves you...can't wait to meet you in Heaven!
4/22/14 - :bfp: our rainbow baby
8/12/14- It's another BOY!
DS2- Owen Lane arrived 1/2/2015 :baby tumble:

Will we have another?? Praying for God's will and following His direction for our lives. We shall see!
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