I never thought I'd be here

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I never thought I'd be here

Postby Asheo » Thu Oct 03, 2013 3:39 am

On Tuesday night (11 weeks, 4 days), I found out that my baby's heart had stopped beating... he only measured in at 10 weeks, 3 days but I had heard the heartbeat at 10+4, he must have passed not long after that.
I have to go in for a D&C this morning, my body doesn't seem at all interested in letting our baby go on it's own... I have no bleeding, no cramping, my cervix is shut tight.
The doctor said that we could start trying again right away without any risk... I'm terrified.
A friend said she would wait a few months because she finds it "looks bad" if someone gets pregnant too soon after a loss, that it makes it seem like they didn't care about the baby they lost? How crazy is that? I would never think that of someone.
My HCG was at 200 000 Tuesday... will that take a long time to go down?
I don't think there is much of a point to my post, just needed to "talk". :(
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Re: I never thought I'd be here

Postby s4mm13 » Thu Oct 03, 2013 9:24 am

Asheo, I'm so sorry for your loss.

I think you should listen to your body and your heart as they will tell you when the time comes to try again.

Don't let what anyone else thinks influence your decision.

All the best

Sam xx
Me 29
DH 30
Oscar forever 5 months
Our beautiful son Oscar, born 24/2/14 at 32 weeks with Tetralogy of Fallot, oesophageal atresia and tracheo oesophageal fistula. Earned his wings aged 5 months and 1 day.
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Oscar is going to be a big brother. BFP #2 29/11/14

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Re: I never thought I'd be here

Postby MEL66325 » Thu Oct 03, 2013 4:07 pm

I'm so sorry for your loss, Asheo. I really, truly understand how you must be feeling right now. THe next few weeks are going to be hard emotionally.

Like Sam said, don't let what other people think influence your decision. You have to do what is right for you and your family. And again, as Sam said, your body will know when it is time. Take care of you right now and lean on your family for strength.

I am thinking of you. :hugs:
ME - 37 DH - 40
DS1- 11
8/12/13 - :angel: (MMC 11 weeks; D&C) My angel, forever in my heart and always on my mind, Mommy loves you...can't wait to meet you in Heaven!
4/22/14 - :bfp: our rainbow baby
8/12/14- It's another BOY!
DS2- Owen Lane arrived 1/2/2015 :baby tumble:

Will we have another?? Praying for God's will and following His direction for our lives. We shall see!
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Re: I never thought I'd be here

Postby 3or4magpies » Fri Oct 04, 2013 2:04 am

I'm so so sorry for your loss Asheo :cry:
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Re: I never thought I'd be here

Postby Asheo » Fri Oct 04, 2013 6:15 am

Thank you <3

The D&C went perfectly, my bleeding, if you can call it that, had completely stopped within 2ish hours of the surgery. My stomach is very sore, especially where the baby used to always sit, it feels bruised :( ...my back hurts as well for whatever reason.
Emotionally I am doing better, some moments are a little harder but I'm ok.
I'm not sure if we'll try right away or if we'll wait until my first period just to give my body a break from being sick since I do tend to get pregnant right away, but I guess we'll see how I feel when I start to have signs of ovulation.
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