Two years since missed miscarriage

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Two years since missed miscarriage

Postby ambernicole8484 » Wed Dec 11, 2013 7:40 pm

This month marks exactly two years since my missed miscarriage that ended at 11 weeks naturally. I have some fertility issues, but part of me can't believe that two whole years have actually passed with nothing. There was a possible chemical, but that was over a year ago and not confirmed. I call it a chemical because I got a faint positive on two tests, a frer and a wondfo.

I still miss that baby, even though it never grew beyond 8 weeks. I loved it and wanted it so much. For whatever reason I decided to browse through my old posts during that time and it hurts so much to see how happy I was after nothing for over 7 years, only to have it snatched away in the blink of an eye.

The entire pregnancy was so fleeting it doesn't even seem real at times. I know this is stupid, but even though it ends, I wish I could go back and feel the changes in my body as that baby made itself comfy. I want to feel that happiness again. I can't remember feeling whole since.
Me 30 ~ DH 31 ~ DD 11 - DS 12/5/14

BFP ~ 4/2/14 <3

10 years and 11 months after our sweet baby girl, our sweet baby boy arrived <3

Blog <3
http://eatingmyselfpregnant.blogspot.com/
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Re: Two years since missed miscarriage

Postby Mand8301 » Fri Dec 13, 2013 5:46 pm

I happened upon this post and didn't want to read and run...

I have not had a miscarriage, but then again I have never had so much as even a chemical pregnancy. I am really sorry for what you're going through. The one ray of hope for you is that you KNOW that you can get pregnant. It is physiologically possible for you, which is a big thing. Have you talked to an RE about your issues? Have you done any treatments?

All I can say is that I'm praying for you. And I'm praying for me. Hopefully 2014 is our year to finally have our BFP's and sticky beans. *HUGS*
Me: 30 yrs old
Hubs: 35 yrs old, 1 DS (12) and 1 DD (15)

BFP 12/30/13! God is so good!
DD Priya was born on 9/8/14 @ 4:19am via C-section!

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Re: Two years since missed miscarriage

Postby ambernicole8484 » Fri Dec 13, 2013 7:00 pm

Thanks so much for the kind word and for responding. That day was a really low day. I'm feeling much better now. I try to find comfort in the fact that I did get pregnant, but with endometriosis my tubes can become blocked with any cycle. The longer it takes the more I fear there is a blockage. I'm trying to get fertility help, but my insurance doesn't cover anything. So far I've tried clomid and have had a hysteroscopy to remove endometrial hyperplasia and a polyp. During surgery he found and removed my endo. Since I can't go any further with my doctor I'm trying to help myself by changing my eating habits and a few other things. I'm also havin another lap and an hsg in the middle of next year. It just seems so far away.

The baby dust fairy needs to come on around and give us all a little sprinkle!!
Me 30 ~ DH 31 ~ DD 11 - DS 12/5/14

BFP ~ 4/2/14 <3

10 years and 11 months after our sweet baby girl, our sweet baby boy arrived <3

Blog <3
http://eatingmyselfpregnant.blogspot.com/
ambernicole8484
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Location: Kentucky

Re: Two years since missed miscarriage

Postby B Michaelson » Sat Dec 14, 2013 4:14 pm

:hugs:

Amber, I am so sorry you are still living this nightmare. It is devastating to lose a baby, but to struggle with infertility as well is its own little hell.

I am glad you are feeling better and I am sending you all the dust I an find!

I have a good feeling about the new year and am looking forward to hearing great news from you. You have been working really hard on changing things and I hope it pays off soon.

Sending lots of love. B
Me - 36
Hashimotos, JHS/EDS, ANA negative, 1 Fallopian tube
DH - 41
TTC #1 Aug 2012 - May 2014
DS - Born Jan 2015
TTC #2 since Aug 2016
May 2017 :bfp:

:angel: Our Angels :angel:
2004 - 7.5 weeks
Oct 2013 - 6w6d ruptured ectopic
Jan 2014 - Chemical

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Re: Two years since missed miscarriage

Postby CassieR » Thu Dec 19, 2013 8:33 am

I read your post and while I cannot relate to the amount of time you've been trying to conceive, I can relate to the loss & just wanting to feel that life inside of you again. I am really proud of you (sounds weird coming from someone you don't know lol) for taking charge of your health though. Just looking at your signature block it looks like you're taking steps to improve your health and that's HUGE for fertility & general well being, so GOOD FOR YOU! I'll say a prayer for you now and be looking for your good news soon! Much love and blessings :)
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Re: Two years since missed miscarriage

Postby ambernicole8484 » Fri Dec 20, 2013 9:50 am

B -- Thanks so much for your kind words. Sorry I took so long to respond. I've been using my phone and wanted to wait until I could use the pc so I didn't have to make it short and sweet. We pulled everything out of our living room last weekend and painted before we brought in our new couch and love seat (Christmas to ourselves). The living room is back together but the rest of the house is still a disaster LOL. Anyway, thanks so much for your kind words. You're such a sweetie and your words are always so comforting. I hope your feeling about the new year is right for both of us! I am trying so hard and I've already seen some rewards with the pain reduction.

Cassie -- Thanks so much for replying. I felt really weird putting that out there but it's the truth. I miss the feelings of my body changing so much. I'd take it back even if only for 11 weeks again. I'm so glad you shared your own feelings. I've felt like a freak for so long because of the way I feel. Totally not weird to feel proud, hopeful, close, or all that jazz, especially on this forum. We're all here for similar reasons, no matter what the story.

Thanks so much for the replies girls. I was in such a bad place when I put this up and I felt so alone. I try to stay positive and not let myself get bogged down with negative thoughts, but sometimes it's hard. I hate that we've all felt the pain of a loss, and I hope that we all get a BFP sooner rather than later.
Me 30 ~ DH 31 ~ DD 11 - DS 12/5/14

BFP ~ 4/2/14 <3

10 years and 11 months after our sweet baby girl, our sweet baby boy arrived <3

Blog <3
http://eatingmyselfpregnant.blogspot.com/
ambernicole8484
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Posts: 4367
Joined: Wed Aug 24, 2011 12:00 am
Location: Kentucky

Re: Two years since missed miscarriage

Postby B Michaelson » Fri Dec 20, 2013 7:42 pm

Amber you said it well. There are always dark days, but this site really helps. We are all here for the same reason.

I love that you painted and got furniture for xmas! We moved into our house last winter from a condo and still don't have real furniture in the livingroom. We put our couch upstairs and my mom gave us some chairs when she moved, that I love. I think my problem is I just can't decide what to get. Colour, style, etc... Everything we owned before was pretty much second hand so picking my own stuff is harder than I thought it would be haha.

I miss feeling changes in my body too. I didn't feel too many but it was nice while I did. You are so not a freak for feeling that way.
Me - 36
Hashimotos, JHS/EDS, ANA negative, 1 Fallopian tube
DH - 41
TTC #1 Aug 2012 - May 2014
DS - Born Jan 2015
TTC #2 since Aug 2016
May 2017 :bfp:

:angel: Our Angels :angel:
2004 - 7.5 weeks
Oct 2013 - 6w6d ruptured ectopic
Jan 2014 - Chemical

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Re: Two years since missed miscarriage

Postby ambernicole8484 » Fri Dec 20, 2013 8:37 pm

All of our stuff was second has as well. We got this because it's decent quality, was $800 for both pieces, and we finally both agreed on it. However, if it wasn't for pieratts and their 4 payments plan we probably wouldn't have got it. We picked the couch and love seat and now we're going to build around those pieces.
Me 30 ~ DH 31 ~ DD 11 - DS 12/5/14

BFP ~ 4/2/14 <3

10 years and 11 months after our sweet baby girl, our sweet baby boy arrived <3

Blog <3
http://eatingmyselfpregnant.blogspot.com/
ambernicole8484
Girlfriend
Girlfriend
 
Posts: 4367
Joined: Wed Aug 24, 2011 12:00 am
Location: Kentucky

Re: Two years since missed miscarriage

Postby B Michaelson » Sat Dec 21, 2013 12:06 am

I have never heard of pieratts.

The payment plans here are crappy so we end up putting most of it on plastic and using that as our payment plan lol. Not ideal but furniture is expensive!
Me - 36
Hashimotos, JHS/EDS, ANA negative, 1 Fallopian tube
DH - 41
TTC #1 Aug 2012 - May 2014
DS - Born Jan 2015
TTC #2 since Aug 2016
May 2017 :bfp:

:angel: Our Angels :angel:
2004 - 7.5 weeks
Oct 2013 - 6w6d ruptured ectopic
Jan 2014 - Chemical

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