How long do I wait?

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How long do I wait?

Postby Erin33 » Sun Apr 27, 2014 7:26 pm

I posted this in the pregnancy boards the other day not knowing this board was here.

On April 8, 2014 I gave birth to our stillborn son Henry. I am completely heartbroken, I miss and love my son more than anything in this world. I of course would give anything to just have him here with us and get on with our lives with him in it. But that is clearly not going to happen and I feel I am being forced to take the fast track on accepting that. I am 34 years old (Henry was born on my 34th birthday) and we don't have any other children. We struggled for a year and a half just to get Henry, so who knows if we will have the same difficulties with the next one. I know another baby will never replace Henry, he/she will be Henry's sibling. But I still feel guilty wanting to try again so soon but I also feel the sooner the better. We want a child if not multiple children and our age limits our window on making that happen. I see my doctor on Tuesday for my first follow up postpartum and to hopefully get some results on all the tests they ran trying to find out what went wrong. I plan to talk to her on when she thinks it is safe to try again.
But I also wanted to ask you ladies on your opinions or personal experiences on when you tried again. I also want to ask personal questions if anyone is willing to answer them. Henry was 38+2 weeks, so he was full term when we lost him. Have any of you lost a baby that far along and then gone on to have a full term, live birth? Or I suppose lost a baby at any point in the pregnancy and gone on to have a full term, live birth? When did you try again?
I loved being pregnant, I miss having him with me and I look forward to that feeling again. However I am scared to lose another baby, I am so heartbroken...I don't think I could go on if this happens again. I suppose a lot of it will also depend on what the test results show. We have strong speculations that it was placental insufficiency because it was almost half the size that it should have been. It followed Henry out and surprised the doctor when she was passing Henry off to the nurse to see the placenta already. I think she even said something about some blood clots. So we don't believe there was any sort of cord accident or that Henry had any health issues. No matter what, I will be considered "high risk" for the next one and monitored closely throughout and will more than likely be induced early.
I trust my doctor and her plans for the next pregnancy. But I still want to hear some of your experiences, things to expect and some stories of success. I want to know that you amazing ladies who had to also go through this were strong enough to try again and with success.
DH -35
TTC #2 since 01/2015, 9 months post stillbirth of our son Henry. Progesterone and Femara.
#1-Due 04/20/2014 - Angel Baby 04/08/2014
TTC #1 since 08/2011 - Successful July, 2013 (with Femara), Stillborn @38 weeks
History of Endometriosis (laparoscopy 07/2003, lesion removal). History of Chocolate cysts. PCOS unconfirmed.
Posts: 65
Joined: Mon Apr 22, 2013 11:29 pm
Location: Silverdale, Washington

Re: How long do I wait?

Postby ekkotack » Mon Apr 28, 2014 5:41 am

Hi Erin,
I am so very sorry you had to go through such a loss. I cannot say that I had a similar experience, but I am the same age as you and understand the sense of urgency to get back to TTC. In a perfect world we should wait a year for our bodies to recover from pregnancy and replenish nutrients, etc. I told my Dr that was just crazy and he was like "OK wait at least 9 months then" (baby was csection). That's still too long to wait in my opinion! If you're healthy, eating good, taking your vitamins, and you didn't have csection (sounds like you didn't) then I would say get back on the TTC horse! You DO need to rest the pelvis for 6 weeks to prevent risk of infection, but after that you should be good to go.
Me: Ekko, newly 35 and AMA on the front of my chart :(
DH: Jamie, 33
Mommy to Ellis Mae, born 10/26/12

*Angel babies*
Oct 2013 d&c
April 2014 d&c

BFP 8/22/14 grow baby, grow! !
Posts: 696
Joined: Mon Feb 24, 2014 6:03 pm

Re: How long do I wait?

Postby mrsm44 » Mon Apr 28, 2014 3:00 pm

Erin, I hate that we are both back here :( At least we do have each other for support!
Posts: 145
Joined: Sat Dec 14, 2013 10:18 pm

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