Losing hope... Will it ever be us?

Are you ready to start trying again after a loss? Ask questions or find buddies here.

Moderators: JessM, southernbelle, maddy, unaffected

Losing hope... Will it ever be us?

Postby Emma1679 » Tue Jan 06, 2015 4:53 pm

After nearly 4 years of me and partner never using contraception we finally fell pregnant in October 2014. Unfortunately, we miscarried at 9 weeks due to the baby not growing properly.

We have been actively ttc since Christmas 2014 and I know it's not been long and I don't want to get my hopes up too much so I'm not disappointed if it doesn't happen every month but I'm worried that it will take a very long time again.

As it was taking so long before we both got tested as thought something must be wrong but turned out everything was fine with both of us! So we carried on thinking we must just be unlucky and not hitting the right time. We tried observing ovulation etc and was fine every month and only having sex every 2/3 days to let sperm mature.....

Can anyone whose been in the same situation raise my hopes a little?

I feel as though I'm the only one who's in this type of situation around me as everyone I know is either pregnant or have children. Since my miscarriage a few women have brought their newborns into work and I can't help but wish it was me and feel like I'll never be in that position.

My partner has been amazingly supportive throughout but I need support from women who have been through it too. I think it's worse as we waited so long for it to happen we finally thought this was our chance just to have it taken away

Any comments would be appreciated.

Posts: 1
Joined: Tue Jan 06, 2015 4:38 pm

Re: Losing hope... Will it ever be us?

Postby pumpkinseed » Wed Jan 14, 2015 9:34 am

Hi Emma,

I am so sorry for your loss. Especially after ttc for so long. I hope you get your BFP again soon and this time a sticky bean. I am currently going through a m/c. Just started bleeding today. HCG is dropping thank goodness. I want this over with so we can start ttc again right away.

Curious about your age, health, circumstances, etc. I am seeing an immune endo who helps women get pregnant and/or avoid future m/c. If you have any autoimmune issues, it might be worth looking into seeing a reproductive endo yourself. You mentioned you and husband checked out ok? Which labs did they run?

I am 37, ttc for about 6 months (a few months we missed ovulation) before we got BFP. M/c due to blighted ovum (most likely). Husband has low morph but high sperm count so doctors don't think it's an issue. I have hashimotos thyroid's (treated), possible mild pcos and excess blood flow to uterus. Waiting on more blood work results.

DH and I used pre-seed, clearblue ovulation advanced OPK's (flashing smiley / solid smiley) and BD every day during ovulation. So for me, my OPK usually goes high (flashing smiley) on day 12/13, then peak (solid smiley) day 13/14. So, we had sex CD 12, 13, 14, 15, 16. I check my cervical mucus every day and when it's watery/cm I know I'm good. We also drink a TON of water as it helps thin out CM and semen. SMEP (sperms meets egg plan) was also helpful for us.

The months we had sex every other day or every second day were a bust for us. We would rather do it every day (right around ovulation), than every other day from CD 10 to 20 and exhaust ourselves. The month we timed it perfectly and made sure to have sex every day from high fertility to peak (and even day after) was the month we got our BFP. Now, I realize we hadn't been trying that long, but just wanted to mention what I think helped us that particular month.

I have heard of more friends and family coming out of the woodwork now that I've had my own m/c and all of them have gone on to have normal pregnancies. Two different family members had 2 m/c before both went on to have normal pregnancies. I have several friends and a sibling who had m/c and also went on to have normal pregnancies.

I think for us, because it's our "first" (I think it's your first?) it's more traumatizing as you feel like it will never happen. Doctors like to wait until you have 3 m/c to do further testing. I don't believe in that. Especially if you're AMA, over age 35.

Good luck to you. I hope we both get a long, healthy pregnancy soon.
Me: 37 / DH: 43 / G-free / Autoimmune thyroid disease (nature-throid)
Lovenox, metanx, baby aspirin, prometrium, vitamin d3, prenatal, progesterone
MMC: 01-14-15
CP: 4-12-15
MMC: 7-13-15 (d&c, heartbeat was seen but gone at 8 weeks, 2 days)
User avatar
TTC Princess
TTC Princess
Posts: 292
Joined: Mon Oct 13, 2014 6:23 am

Return to TTC After a Loss