TTC after first MC. Trying to keep hope alive!

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TTC after first MC. Trying to keep hope alive!

Postby KellyAnnXo » Mon Feb 23, 2015 12:52 pm

Hello! I have been creeping this site for weeks now and am driving myself insane so I decided to finally submit my story. I don't really have anyone in my life to talk to about what I'm going through (without them looking at me like a complete nut job!) so I'm turning to you all!

Up until January 26, 2015, i was under the impression that I was infertile. I have been sexually active for the past 13 years & never really tried to conceive, but never tried to prevent it either. I never got pregnant. I was engaged once before to a man with children from a previous relationship and we actually tried to get pregnant every month for over two years with no luck. After that, I just gave up. My current husband and I tried to conceive for a little while and gave up as well. We started the process of accepting that we would never have a child of our own.

January 26th, i went to the hospital for abdominal pain. Imagine my surprise when they stopped me right before entering CT because my pregnancy test had come back positive! I was so overcome with joy, I started crying my eyes out. However, about an hour later, the bleeding started. After countless years of trying to conceive with no success, I finally got pregnant & the day I found out was the day I found out I was losing it. I was devastated. But a small part of me was given hope. I CAN physically get pregnant.. So after a week of bleeding, I was given the "go ahead" to try again. I was told that you can be more fertile after a miscarriage so my husband and I hit it hard!

I've never bothered temping or using ovulation tests, as I didn't think it mattered anyway.. but physical symptoms (unreliable, I know) made me think I ovulated again around February 10th. Ever since about "2-3 dpo", I've been having every symptom under the sun. I'm well aware that I'm paying too much attention because I want this so badly and could be imagining things but some things cannot be imagined. I've been having random, quick spurts of nausea, fatigue but trouble sleeping, breast pain unlike anything I've ever felt before for the last 4-5 days, lower backaches that have moved into my hips today, cramping/quick, sharp pains in my ovaries for the last 10 days, sneezing like crazy (I remember that from last month & knew then that it was abnormal for me) and pretty much everything else I've been seeing on this site. However, I've been using FRER tests for the last few days & BFN. If I ovulated on the 10th, today would put me at 13dpo. My cycles are usually 29 days but as I just MC last month, I don't even know when to expect my period. I know something is up.. But I know it could just be my body getting back to normal. I guess I'm just trying to keep the hope alive! I would love to think there is still a possibility that I could be pregnant this month.. but I can't help but be terrified that i won't conceive for another 13 years, if ever.

If you read this word vomit, thank you! All opinions are welcomed!
KellyAnnXo
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Re: TTC after first MC. Trying to keep hope alive!

Postby Targaryen » Tue Feb 24, 2015 7:13 am

KellyAnnXo, I am so sorry for your loss.

It's not easy keeping hope alive after a miscarriage; goodness knows how much I have struggled and continue to struggle with it. I'm currently 5dpo for our rainbow baby. This is my 3rd cycle of trying post MC.

Every woman is different-some are able to get pregnant again right away and others take a little longer. It took awhile for my cycles to return to normal (I'm usually 29 days as well) but I know of other women whose cycles came back right away. Not very helpful, I know, however that's just the way Mother Nature operates. Your symptoms do sound promising but it might be worth waiting a few more days (how hard it is to wait!) before testing again.

Fingers crossed for you!
Me: 32
DH: 36
Married since December 2013
Stared TTC No. 1: March 2014
1st BFP: July 2014
Miscarriage: September 2014
2nd BFP: March 2015
R A I N B O W Boy: November 2015 (same birthday as DH!)
Targaryen
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Posts: 53
Joined: Fri Feb 20, 2015 2:32 pm

Re: TTC after first MC. Trying to keep hope alive!

Postby KellyAnnXo » Tue Feb 24, 2015 9:11 pm

Thank you for your comment! I must be one of those women that return to regular cycles quickly.. I also must be one that has trouble conceiving after mc because AF showed her ugly face this afternoon. 29 days from the start of my mc. I was extremely disappointed but it's okay.. It's almost time to try again! I'm researching alternative methods to improve fertility. My insurance doesn't cover fertility treatment & there's no way I can afford it out of pocket. Wish me luck this cycle!

I'm sorry for your loss as well. Mc is a pain I don't wish on anyone. But I hope you get your bfp this month! Please keep me updated. Good news for you would give me hope!! <3
KellyAnnXo
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Posts: 37
Joined: Mon Feb 23, 2015 11:58 am

Re: TTC after first MC. Trying to keep hope alive!

Postby Targaryen » Wed Feb 25, 2015 4:08 am

I'm sorry AF showed up. :hugs:

I know it is hard right now and I also know how disappointing, frustrating, sad, etc. it is to have AF return after some promising symptoms but do keep remembering it is good news. Not the news you wanted but now you know your cycles are back to normal and you can move ahead. I've been there, lots of women have, you are not ALONE. You must remember that; miscarrying can make you feel isolated but you are (most unfortunately) in good company.

Lots of baby dust for this new cycle! Please keep updating. It's a crime insurance doesn't cover fertility treatments.

Thank you, I am hoping we get our rainbow this cycle. Aside from the fact DH and I really want children, the timing would be amazing. I was very naughty and did a due date calculator earlier this month. If I were to conceive this cycle and carry to term, our rainbow would be due on DH's birthday. What a birthday present!
Me: 32
DH: 36
Married since December 2013
Stared TTC No. 1: March 2014
1st BFP: July 2014
Miscarriage: September 2014
2nd BFP: March 2015
R A I N B O W Boy: November 2015 (same birthday as DH!)
Targaryen
BabyDuster
BabyDuster
 
Posts: 53
Joined: Fri Feb 20, 2015 2:32 pm

Re: TTC after first MC. Trying to keep hope alive!

Postby KellyAnnXo » Sat Mar 21, 2015 9:36 am

I figured id give you an update: I got my (very faint, but definitely there) BFP today at 12dpo, my second cycle ttc after my mc!! I'm still in shock! I can't believe it actually happened so soon! Any news on your rainbow baby?
KellyAnnXo
Member
Member
 
Posts: 37
Joined: Mon Feb 23, 2015 11:58 am

Re: TTC after first MC. Trying to keep hope alive!

Postby Targaryen » Tue Mar 31, 2015 1:41 pm

Yay for an update! Congrats on your BFP! When is your due date? I am so thrilled for you!

Sorry for my late reply. I got my BFP on 2nd March (I totally caved and tested early) and am doing alright, thus far. Still on track for a due date on DH's birthday. :D I have some of the same symptoms from last time and some new ones; I am trying to keep the panic at bay as I want to enjoy this pregnancy. I have to actively remind myself to chose joy instead of fear and that's easier said than done but I am working on it. I saw my midwife today for my 8 weeks appointment. Now I am waiting to get my 12 week scan appointment in the mail. I think once DH and I see our little rainbow and hear the heartbeat, we will find it much easier to relax.

How about you? Have you had any appointments yet?
Me: 32
DH: 36
Married since December 2013
Stared TTC No. 1: March 2014
1st BFP: July 2014
Miscarriage: September 2014
2nd BFP: March 2015
R A I N B O W Boy: November 2015 (same birthday as DH!)
Targaryen
BabyDuster
BabyDuster
 
Posts: 53
Joined: Fri Feb 20, 2015 2:32 pm


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