Autumn babies...Buddies?

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Re: Autumn babies...Buddies?

Postby Peaks+Valleys » Thu Oct 27, 2016 6:27 am

Hello friends,

Thank you both for the encouraging words and the advice. The part about having a plan particularly speaks to me, as I'm an inveterate planner, despite all good intentions to just go with the flow. :) I'm thinking of starting OPKs later so that I can continue tracking a bit further. I think in any case, though, I've got to consider the super-fertile window to be days 13-17, as that's my O range. I have always been hesitant to pressure DH to BD. As he seems to understand how it works now (I think...), he's started to ask about the next window to make sure he's in the loop. But as much as I stress about timing, in my more sane moments I really don't think that absolutely perfect timing matters all that much, as we've certainly had plenty of months where BD was totally covered and still nothing happened. And when I did get my BFP earlier this year, BD was a few days before O, and I was convinced we had missed it. I think I seriously just need to relax...

Janeite: I hope you're doing okay with the suspense... seems like you'll have some sort of answer any minute now. I think you posted something about femoral massage somewhere, perhaps on another thread. I gave it a shot yesterday, but then also saw another Youtube video about another fertility massage, which I also tried. I'll just say that the second massage, which was intended to detoxify the system, seemed surprisingly efficient, as I was cleaned out in 30 minutes flat... I'm thinking I'll stick to the femoral massage until ovulation and consider myself otherwise detoxed enough for the time being!

Staying: I appreciate your concern in sharing your good news, but please don't worry about that. It's true that we have our good days and bad days, but speaking at least for myself, I'm behind you 100% and am so glad to know that you and baby are doing well. Please don't hold back the joy! I need the inspiration! Also, this is the only thread in which I actively participate, so I'm particularly eager to continue communicating. Congratulations on your graduation!

I'll admit that the past few days haven't been great. The weekend was pretty intense with the baptism (60 people present instead of 25, including 20 children instead of max. 4), and I also held a parents' meeting in which we decided to develop our own children's program and to stop sending our kids to the other church for Sunday School. This is huge, as we haven't had our own program in at least fifteen years. After that "high," it rained nonstop for three days, and I was pretty depressed for the first part of this week. I didn't have any meetings or visits this week, so I pretty much stayed at home and cried while feeling dramatically sorry for myself. The last straw was yesterday when, with one click, I accidentally permanently erased two days worth of writing in preparation for an upcoming presentation. Consequently, more tears! BUT, the sun is back today, DH has been encouraging all along, and I finally picked up a meditative coloring book and some colored pencils for myself. It really helped to spend an hour coloring teeny flowers today! The plan: continue femoral massage until O, try to up my water intake, cook with as many vegetables as I can, and begin OPKs a tad later than usual.
Me: 34, DH: 41
2010: 2 MCs
2015: Begin TTC in August
2016: MC in March (Trisomy 13)
BFP November 2016, EDD end of July 2017
Salomé Marjorie born July 18, 2017
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Re: Autumn babies...Buddies?

Postby Peaks+Valleys » Tue Nov 01, 2016 1:01 am

This is just a quick shout-out to Janeite... I've been thinking of you lately. If your emotions are anything like mine were this past time around, you may be in a really dark place right now. If not, so much the better. If so, however, my thoughts are with you, and I hope it won't last too much longer. You had reminded me that it was useful to have a plan, and I think that you already have one for yourself (contacting RE in the New Year, perhaps? I can't remember exactly, sorry.). For now, do what you need to do to get by (an autumn walk, yoga, wine, a break from the boards, reconnect with DH, etc.), and take one day at a time. An hour at a time, if necessary. Courage!
Me: 34, DH: 41
2010: 2 MCs
2015: Begin TTC in August
2016: MC in March (Trisomy 13)
BFP November 2016, EDD end of July 2017
Salomé Marjorie born July 18, 2017
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Re: Autumn babies...Buddies?

Postby Janeite » Tue Nov 01, 2016 11:17 am

Thanks, Peaks. I really did need that today. Last week Tursday was really rough when AF started. We meet with a small group from our church on Thursday evenings. We've been together for a long time, and DH and I are now the only childless couple. So, I had to bravely go into the land of children and families the day AF showed. Ugh. The weekend was busy enough to keep my mind off things (including a Pride and Prejudice and Zombies themed dance which was tons of fun), but I slipped back into a dark place once things calmed down yesterday. I'm really starting to dread the holidays, which is awful, because I normally love this time of year. My loss was a year ago December, and things just weren't the same last year (for obvious reasons). I'm feeling a lot of that come back now that we are nearing that time again and I still don't have a BFP. DH and I are really close, but I'm leery of talking to him about this. I really don't want to put it into his mind if it's not already there and ruin his holidays, too. I also dread going back home for the holidays. Even if they don't ask the question out loud, I know everyone is wondering why we don't have kids yet. I'm really worried that the stress of it will be too much. I'm trying so hard to remain positive, but I'm really struggling.

Peaks- how exciting that you get to start up your own children's program again. It sounds like very good things are happening in your village. I quite envy you your three days of rain. I love rain and we just don't get enough here. I haven't had my coloring book out in months, but it may be time to get started again. I'm glad that you have a plan in place this cycle. FX it works for you! I think sometimes trying hard to be something that you are not (i.e. relaxed if you are a planner) can be more stressful than just being yourself (as long as you don't go too nuts planning, of course :) ).

Staying- Please stay around! I feel like I've been with you for a good part of this journey and I was to be there for the rest of it! You've experienced just as much pain and heartache as the rest of us, and deserve to enjoy your happiness now. Besides, as Peaks said, you give me hope!
Me: 36
DH: 35
One fur baby

TTC #1 since August 2014
----------------------------------
December 2015 BFP, MC at 5 weeks :angel:
January 2016 started acupuncture
December 2016 1st round of 50 mg clomid- chemical
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Re: Autumn babies...Buddies?

Postby Peaks+Valleys » Thu Nov 03, 2016 11:31 am

Janeite: Wow... I can't imagine what it takes to manage emotions during the small group. If you all have been together for such a long time, might you have enough confidence to speak about it? Only if you think it would be a good thing, and only if you trust the others enough. Not for the sake of being branded as the couple with fertility problems, but just to share an experience that you're going through that (who knows?) others might also resonate with? If you haven't spoken about it, it might be a relief to have other people help you carry the twin weights of hope and discouragement. They might even be understanding if you needed to take a break from the group.

And I get what you're saying about the holidays. It's a bit different for me now because our families and friends all know what we've experienced (and, thanks to small-town gossip, so does everyone in my hometown), so I only get questions about children from strangers. Only my mother and one acquaintance will occasionally ask about my "health," accompanied by a significant glance, which is kind of annoying, as there's really no need to speak in not-so-secret code... When people do ask, though, regardless of their tone, I just say plainly that we would indeed like to have children, but that sometimes things take longer than we would like. They usually get the picture without me having to go into detail, and it tends to prevent future questions unless they're just totally socially inept. On occasions where the atmosphere just feels too heavy with the unanswered question, I sometimes work the above line into casual conversation as a preemptive strike - that way people know enough that they probably won't push for further detail, and I'm relieved to have cleared the air a bit for myself. If anyone insists, which has rarely happened, I don't feel badly about saying that I prefer not to go into further detail.

These ideas may not work for you, but I thought I'd share just in case! I really hope that the holidays will be a comforting or at least a comfortable time for you. And btw, you and DH do some pretty cool things together. Pride and Prejudice and Zombies?! Freakin' awesome!

CD 14 here and just today got a positive OPK. Hoping BD will happen today, but DH has been a little under the weather lately, so we'll see. Trying to keep the stress and pressure down as much as possible, and glad that DH is really trying to be mindful of the window of opportunity.
Me: 34, DH: 41
2010: 2 MCs
2015: Begin TTC in August
2016: MC in March (Trisomy 13)
BFP November 2016, EDD end of July 2017
Salomé Marjorie born July 18, 2017
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Re: Autumn babies...Buddies?

Postby Peaks+Valleys » Sun Nov 06, 2016 8:47 am

Staying: How have things been going lately? Appointments? Feeling pregnant or not so much? Still thinking about you and hoping that all is well.

Janeite: I had a dream the other night in which I suddenly discovered that you lived in the apartment next door to me. I rushed over, eager to meet you in person, and was confused when you didn't recognize me. No idea what that means, but thought I'd share!

So I think the window of opportunity is coming to a close for this month, officially beginning yet another TWW. But am feeling good about how we managed this time, so no regrets about timing. Here's the play-by-play:

CD14 - OPK lines the same, BD
CD15 - OPK super positive, BD
CD16 - OPK super positive
CD17 - OPK positive, but less so, BD

Am estimating O at day 16 or 17, so expecting AF on November 19 or 20. Photo attached of OPKs for days 12, then 14-17.

IMAG1427.jpg
IMAG1427.jpg (18.39 KiB) Viewed 734 times


That's all for now... hope your week will get off to a good start!
Me: 34, DH: 41
2010: 2 MCs
2015: Begin TTC in August
2016: MC in March (Trisomy 13)
BFP November 2016, EDD end of July 2017
Salomé Marjorie born July 18, 2017
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Re: Autumn babies...Buddies?

Postby stayinghopeful31 » Tue Nov 08, 2016 2:21 pm

Hi Ladies!

So sorry for the long delay in getting back on here. Work has really been torturing me lately. I never seem to have a minute for anything (including lunch lately).

Janeite- I hope you are feeling a bit better now- it looks like you are back in another TWW. I am really hoping that this will be it for you. I hate the thought of the holiday's being a bummer for you. But of course I know the feeling all too well! Keeping everything crossed and sending tons of baby dust your way! I have been meaning to ask- are you still doing the acupuncture?

Peaks- Sounds like you are also in another TWW. I would be so excited if both of you ladies got some really great news at the end of this wait! Looks like you did a fantastic job on the BD front and have your bases covered! Send lots of positive vibes, sticky vibes and baby dust your way as well!

AFM- AFM- My first OB appointment was last Thursday and it went really well. Our little peanut looks great, tracking slightly behind, but nothing they seemed concerned about ( he/she is even starting to look like a little person). The heartbeat was 177BPM this time! My ovaries are still huge, covered in cysts that are larger than the gestational sac the baby is growing in, and are hanging very low in my pelvis- closer to my rectum. So they still won't give me the okay to go to spin class. But I'm hanging in there. They say that they should go down once I hit 12-13wks. I can't wait for that! The doc was super nice and I'm feeling pretty comfortable with him so far. The only thing is that I did not go in prepared with questions, but I suppose we have a few months to get all of the questions out! There was some confusion on the EDD of our little peanut as the OB was saying 6/12 would be my due date, but my RE had said 6/7. when I found one of the IVF calculators online the EDD I got was 6/9. OB has agreed to go with the due date our RE gave us of 6/7, but of course he told us that due dates don't mean a whole lot and that we could essentially go 2 weeks earlier or 2 weeks later. Next appointment is 11/17.

Hope you both have a fantastic week and I would love nothing more than for you guys to get your BFP's this go around!
Me:32 DH:32 Off BCP since February 2014 TTC #1 since July 2014

3/17-1st RE appt. Deemed "Unexplained IF"
March 2016- 1st Clomid cycle (50mg) CD3-7. U/S 3/31- 4 follicles- Right side 3@12, left side-1 @24 1st IUI CD14 (4/2) BFN
April 2016-2nd Clomid cycle (50mg) CD3-7. U/S- 4/29- 21.5 Rt/25 left. Ovidrel Trigger. 2nd IUI (CD13) 4/30. BFN
May 2016- 3rd Clomid cycle (50mg) CD5-9. U/S 5/23- 18,17,11. U/S 5/25- Rt- 21,17,12-Triggered. 5/26 IUI #3. BFN
June 2016- 4th Clomid cycle (50mg) Cyst on left ovary (completely gone by CD12 U/S) IUI #4 BFN
July 2016- Natural cycle while prepping for IVF with ICSI for August's cycle
August 2016- IVF cycle cancelled. Lab shuts down at the end of August.
Sept 2016- IVF cycle- start stims 9/6, ER 9/16. BFP 9/30 EDD 6/7/17

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Re: Autumn babies...Buddies?

Postby Peaks+Valleys » Thu Nov 10, 2016 9:56 am

Staying: I'm so glad everything is going well! Apart from the cysts, anyhow, though it sounds like you're managing beautifully. How exciting to see visible signs of life and a teeny human form! Will look forward to updates after the 17th (or anytime you want to share, obviously).

Janeite: Hope you're doing okay and keeping distracted during this TWW! When are you expecting AF this time around?

All is well on my end for the moment. Weather is incredibly gloomy, though. Thick, dark clouds and cold rain with wind and the occasional wintery mix. Ugh... it's hard to do work that involves serious thinking. But am trying to tell myself that it's the start of the season for being cozy. So yay for soft blankets, baked meals, the occasional whisky, and nostalgic thoughts about New England, which I especially miss at this time of year!
Me: 34, DH: 41
2010: 2 MCs
2015: Begin TTC in August
2016: MC in March (Trisomy 13)
BFP November 2016, EDD end of July 2017
Salomé Marjorie born July 18, 2017
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Re: Autumn babies...Buddies?

Postby Peaks+Valleys » Mon Nov 14, 2016 12:09 pm

Umm... Janeite, nice temps...
Me: 34, DH: 41
2010: 2 MCs
2015: Begin TTC in August
2016: MC in March (Trisomy 13)
BFP November 2016, EDD end of July 2017
Salomé Marjorie born July 18, 2017
Peaks+Valleys
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Posts: 205
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Re: Autumn babies...Buddies?

Postby Janeite » Tue Nov 15, 2016 11:27 am

Hi girls,

Sorry I've been so quiet again. Things have been really, really busy. I seem to only have time to catch up with reading responses or write just one. I have been thinking about all of you still!

Staying- I'm so glad to hear that your appointment with the new OB went well. He already sounds much nicer than your old one. Sorry that you're still not feeling well. Have your cysts gone down yet? Hopefully your be able to get back to spin class soon. Your next appointment is in a few days, right? How exciting! And, yes, I am still doing the acupuncture.

Peaks- How many DPO are you today? It looks like you had your bases covered with BD this month. Nicely done! Your dream made me smile! I'd love to meet you in person some day! And you too, Staying! And with the way things are going, I kind of wish I had an apartment abroad. Thanks for stalking my temps. I'm really trying not to get my hopes up as they looked good last cycle as well. Only time will tell now.

AFM- I'm in the excruciating part of the TWW. The last few days are always the hardest for me. My heart will actually start pounding when my alarm goes off in the morning, in anticipation of taking my temp. As I mentioned earlier, I'm trying to stay calm and collected these last few days. AF is due Thursday or Friday.

In other news, I found out that my insurance does not cover infertility treatments. Most of the cost of labor and delivery would be out-of-pocket as well. We buy our insurance through the exchanges in the U.S., so we have the option to change plans this fall, but the premium on our moderate plan is going up by 40%, so I'm not sure what we'll be able to afford. It's really got me worried. To add to that, I'm having trouble at work. There is a fairly incompetent person above me, and I'm afraid of being turned into a scape goat. Not really the stress I need right now. All thoughts/prayers would be appreciated.
Me: 36
DH: 35
One fur baby

TTC #1 since August 2014
----------------------------------
December 2015 BFP, MC at 5 weeks :angel:
January 2016 started acupuncture
December 2016 1st round of 50 mg clomid- chemical
-----------------------------------

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Re: Autumn babies...Buddies?

Postby Peaks+Valleys » Wed Nov 16, 2016 4:10 am

Staying: Good luck with your appointment tomorrow! I hope all continues to go well and the cyst situation will stay under control. How is DH doing?

Janeite: Ugh for your work situation, and ugh for incompetent superiors! Would this be more like a first trumpet in an ensemble or a teacher/administrator at a school? Either way that sucks, and I hope you won't be blamed for someone else's shortcomings. I also hear you about insurance. Your charts have been looking better and better lately, though, so hopefully you won't need to cross that bridge (I know it doesn't take away the stress, though).

Like Janeite, I'm also in the dregs of the TWW. I'm about 11dpo, I think, so I guess I'd expect AF around Saturdayish. I won't test until Monday or Tuesday, though, as I'm determined to wait until I'm late according to my very longest cycle ever. This month, I did femoral massage regularly up until O, and also did a fertility massage twice. My unusual "symptoms" this time around are super-sore bbs, which happened almost immediately after O instead of later, and a persistent sharp pulling just to the right of the naval which began early yesterday morning and continues today. Half of me is getting my hopes up (like really getting my hopes up), and the other half is trying to downplay my excitement (like really downplay my excitement). So it goes...
Me: 34, DH: 41
2010: 2 MCs
2015: Begin TTC in August
2016: MC in March (Trisomy 13)
BFP November 2016, EDD end of July 2017
Salomé Marjorie born July 18, 2017
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Re: Autumn babies...Buddies?

Postby Janeite » Wed Nov 16, 2016 7:26 am

Staying- Good luck tomorrow!

Peaks- Thanks for the support. It's a teacher who, unfortunately, plays my instrument, but not very well. Another director is upset about my student's performance, but I'm constantly having to fix things. I'm also just independently contracted, so I have no tenure or anything like that. There is, of course, a lot more to it, but that's the basic jist. I've decided not to go down without a fight though. I'm supposed to meet with him today or tomorrow.

I've been meaning to ask what you thought about the femoral and fertility massage. Do you think it made a difference? I know I certainly felt different after the femoral massage. It was like I could feel the fresh blood hitting my uterus. Everything felt more alive, if that makes sense.

AFM- My temp this morning is the highest yet, but I'm afraid it may just be due to stress. I decided to wait to test as well, because I don't need a BFN added to my plate at the moment. Hopefully, if there is a little bean in there, it's a fighter and will stick around in spite of all this stress.
Me: 36
DH: 35
One fur baby

TTC #1 since August 2014
----------------------------------
December 2015 BFP, MC at 5 weeks :angel:
January 2016 started acupuncture
December 2016 1st round of 50 mg clomid- chemical
-----------------------------------

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Janeite
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Re: Autumn babies...Buddies?

Postby Peaks+Valleys » Wed Nov 16, 2016 11:04 am

Continue those deep breaths, Janeite! Just do what you need to do, and I'm sure that any potential bean will do what it needs to do. Don't forget to eat and sleep, and take meditative time-outs whenever needed. Workwise, you'll bring your expertise and your goodwill to the table, and the rest is up to others.

As for femoral massage, I do think it was helpful, but I can't say exactly how. It may have been a psychological high from feeling like I did something good for myself, but I'll take that as a positive, too! I think that touch can be a very powerful thing. I've had serious ear problems in the past which used to make flying absolute torture (crying from the pain, that sort of thing). The only thing that ever worked (including having a temporary drainage tube put in) was a self massage for lymphatic drainage. I now do this every time I fly, especially if I have a cold and can tell that I'm feeling blocked. All that is to say that I was glad to find the video that you posted, and am sure that there must be benefits.
Me: 34, DH: 41
2010: 2 MCs
2015: Begin TTC in August
2016: MC in March (Trisomy 13)
BFP November 2016, EDD end of July 2017
Salomé Marjorie born July 18, 2017
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Re: Autumn babies...Buddies?

Postby Peaks+Valleys » Thu Nov 17, 2016 5:08 am

I swear I'm not a creepy stalker, but happen to be on and noticed your temp rise, Janeite... Hmm...

No more pinching twinges here, and bbs seem less sore. CP is fairly low, so am probably out! But have a few more agonizing days left.
Me: 34, DH: 41
2010: 2 MCs
2015: Begin TTC in August
2016: MC in March (Trisomy 13)
BFP November 2016, EDD end of July 2017
Salomé Marjorie born July 18, 2017
Peaks+Valleys
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Re: Autumn babies...Buddies?

Postby Janeite » Fri Nov 18, 2016 4:14 pm

Not creepy! It just makes me feel loved! :) I would totally stalk your chart if you had one. I'm pretty sure that those extra high temps were just due to stress. I was excited to see my temp still elevated today at 13 or 14 DPO ( it normally drops at 13 DPO), but I tested this morning and BFN. :/ Not even a shadow. Well, I thought for a moment I saw something, but I'm pretty sure that was just my brain projecting what it wants to see. I have a feeling that my body is playing a cruel trick on me.

Thanks for all the support the last few days. I really needed it! Everything is okay and I can breathe again. It turns out that it was more just a conversation on how to change some aspects of the culture of my section and get them really fired up. I also got a guarantee that if something was wrong, I'd be given a long time to make adjustments before being fired. So, all in all, good things.
Me: 36
DH: 35
One fur baby

TTC #1 since August 2014
----------------------------------
December 2015 BFP, MC at 5 weeks :angel:
January 2016 started acupuncture
December 2016 1st round of 50 mg clomid- chemical
-----------------------------------

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My Ovulation Chart
Janeite
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Re: Autumn babies...Buddies?

Postby Peaks+Valleys » Sun Nov 20, 2016 9:52 am

Janeite: I'm glad your work situation sorted itself out, and I'm glad you're relieved of that. I'm also still encouraged by your temp pattern, which seems to become more "traditional" with each month. Interesting that your LP is lengthening a bit. I wonder what that means.

Staying: What's the news? Did all go well at the appointment? Still thinking of you and hoping that all is well!

For my part, I'm kinda dying over here. Nearing the end of CD31 and no hint of AF. I'm estimating O at CD16 or 17, so I'm either 14 or 15 dpo. Bbs are super-sore everywhere, not just on the sides. CP is all over the place depending on the moment, so I'm not really taking it seriously. But it's awfully hard not to have suspicions after those two days of pulling/pinching sensations on 10-11 dpo, and a potential implantation bleed a few days after. Will still try to wait out the business day tomorrow before buying a test. I don't even stock them at home, as I have long been determined to never see another BFN. Must stay distracted!!
Me: 34, DH: 41
2010: 2 MCs
2015: Begin TTC in August
2016: MC in March (Trisomy 13)
BFP November 2016, EDD end of July 2017
Salomé Marjorie born July 18, 2017
Peaks+Valleys
TTC Princess
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Posts: 205
Joined: Fri Dec 04, 2015 2:19 am

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