Hoping for 2017 Babies II

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Re: Hoping for 2017 Babies II

Postby DarkAries » Tue May 02, 2017 10:19 am

Hi Everyone - I used to be in one of the groups - but these days just really lurk around - and especially like checking up on everyone in here.

To Danaa - you are one of the reasons why I keep coming back - when you first found out you were pregnant I celebrated with you and kept checking in to see how your boys are growing - I never said anything because everyone in here is on a whole different level -and I didn't really feel like being the "newbie" LOL

But back to you Danaa - I can relate to how you are feeling, about the why's and how comes... but know this that He will not put you through something that you wont or cant handle. Losing a baby, especially one (and in your case two) that you have hoped and prayed for is hard. Don't question, cause everything happens for a reason. we don't always know what that reason is, but one day things will be clearer.

After my miscarriage I also told my husband that I don't want to try anymore (cause I thought why should I even try if this happened - maybe it's not meant to be. I was angry and upset. because it was what I wanted! and here it was being taken away from us.

A month later I decided to try again - but wasn't really to fussed about doing anything much - I just decided to relax. I still feel sad about the baby I lost (I would have been due this month - 18/05) and when I read the stories of the other ladies I was in a group with and how two of them have now given birth - my heart aches a bit but I am happy for them. :)

Take your time, heal yourself, and you will see , it'll all come together. And if you want to mourn - do it...don't let anyone tell you it's time to "get over it" ...they were your babies and now they are your angels.

I pray that He is always there for you, and especially in those moments when you feel down.
Me: 40 - DH:38
DS - 16
DS - 12
DD - 7
DS - 4
TTC - "No 5"
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Re: Hoping for 2017 Babies II

Postby Flybutter » Tue May 02, 2017 1:43 pm

Danaa, I am so sorry again for your losses and glad dh was able to see his boys and say goodbye. Did you want to see them? I was thinking about that and on one hand I could see it as being healing and on the other I see it as making things 100x more difficult. I am also so happy to hear you say you want to keep trying. Don't ever feel defeated because you will hold your rainbow in time! I am glad your doctor knows now that they need to stitch you early on so you don't dilate.

Whoz, Good luck with the testing!

Andi, So glad to see you post. I have had you in my thoughts and hope everything is going well for you.
Kimberly (33) married to Joshua (35) ~ February 11, 2016.

PCOS
Clomid #1 50MG - July - Miscarriage September 17th, 2015 - 8wks :angel:
Clomid #2 50MG - November - Annovulatory - CD21 1.8 - BFN
Clomid #3 100MG - December - Ovulated - CD21 6.3 - BFN
Clomid #4 100MG - January - Ovulated - CD21 18.5 - BFN
Clomid #5 100MG - February - Ovulated - No CD21 Because of Lab Mixup - BFN
Clomid #6 150MG - April - Ovulated - Didn't bother with CD21 - Discouraged - BFN
Month off clomid - May - Ovulated - No CD 21 - 06/06/2016 :bfp:

June 13 Beta: 1228 - Progesterone: 17.5
June 15 Beta: 2759
June 22 Beta: 28,354

:hb: 6w1d: 101 bpm
:hb: 13w5d: 159 bpm


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Re: Hoping for 2017 Babies II

Postby Danaa » Tue May 02, 2017 3:25 pm

DarkAries Ty for taking the time to write such kind words and filled with love and support and im sorry for ur loss....all we can do is to keep moving forward and hope for the best.
Fly in that moment while I was giving birth I didn't want to see them,I covered my face but the nurse already had covered my legs so I won't see them,I didn't thought I want to see them but I regret the decision now....I was terrified...
Im very scared,the thought of trying again....if this transfer won't work I don't know what I will do,my husband deserves to be a father...I will never forget the happiness I saw in him during those 5 months,How could I prevent him from experiencing fatherhood?!I can't and won't do that.Before getting pregnant it was easy bcs he didn't tasted the joy but now......I feel so guilty...
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Me 29
DH 31
After 3 years in which we tried everything we are doing IVF in Greece with Iakentro Athens.
Short Protocol with Bemfola and Cetrotide
19mature eggs and we have 9 day5 blasto.
FET#1 ended in a loss around 5 weeks
FET#2 ended in a loss at 22w due to IC,my boys will be forever in my heart .
FET#3 ?
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Re: Hoping for 2017 Babies II

Postby Loz28 » Tue May 02, 2017 5:42 pm

Dana, you are not at fault and you are not stopping your DH from experiencing this. You and your DH are meant to be together, and you bring him so much happiness. Think how you would feel if it was reversed - you wouldn't blame or resent your DH, so treat yourself with the same kindness, lovely lady.
Whatever decision you made about looking or not looking was the right thing for you to do in that moment.
Also, I was thinking about what you said about seeking counselling and how expensive it is there. Have you looked into BetterHelp? Online counselling:
https://www.betterhelp.com/helpme/?utm_ ... elpme&fv=d
Me (Lauren) 29, DH (Nick) 32
TTC #1 since May 2015
I have PCOS & Hashimoto's hypothyroidism, DH healthy
Letrozole 5mg CD2-6 since June 2016
IVF antagonist protocol with Gonal-F and orgalutran, started 11 March
Switched to decapeptyl triggers & freeze all cycle due to OHSS
18 eggs collected
14 fertilised & frozen
FET May 15 - BFP! DD 31 Jan
First beta draw @ 4 weeks 2 days - 725 iu/l
Scan @ 8 weeks 2 days - HR 163bpm
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Re: Hoping for 2017 Babies II

Postby Loz28 » Tue May 02, 2017 7:03 pm

ALso babydust, thank you for the idea, but unfortunately it is an all day presentation over a couple of days. Very full on and I would have to be there for the whole day.
I just got my results back from the clinic. Hormone levels still super low so I am nowhere near ovulating and am going back for a blood test on Monday next week. Sigh. It would have been nice if just oneeee time the timing could have worked in my favour, but I'm just over here having a pity party now.
Me (Lauren) 29, DH (Nick) 32
TTC #1 since May 2015
I have PCOS & Hashimoto's hypothyroidism, DH healthy
Letrozole 5mg CD2-6 since June 2016
IVF antagonist protocol with Gonal-F and orgalutran, started 11 March
Switched to decapeptyl triggers & freeze all cycle due to OHSS
18 eggs collected
14 fertilised & frozen
FET May 15 - BFP! DD 31 Jan
First beta draw @ 4 weeks 2 days - 725 iu/l
Scan @ 8 weeks 2 days - HR 163bpm
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Re: Hoping for 2017 Babies II

Postby Momma-of4 » Tue May 02, 2017 7:25 pm

Loz it is going to work out. I hope and pray you can relax during your transfer. Danaa loz ad a good point if it was reversed you wouldn't blame dh and resent him. Anyway you are going to get pregnant and carry to term and give birth to a healthy baby or two :)

Darkaries hello and welcome and thank you for taking time to lend support to Danaa. That's very sweet of you and I'm very sorry for your loss as well.
(Me) Courtney 36 (Dh) Luke 36
Ttc #5
DS 13
DD 11
DS 9
DD 2
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Dec 2016 first round of clomid 50mg - bfn
Jan 2016 2nd round clomid 100mg bfp

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Re: Hoping for 2017 Babies II

Postby babydust530 » Wed May 03, 2017 4:01 am

Danaa I think Loz said it best! You are NOT the reason your husband isn't a father. There is nothing wrong with you waiting until you feel physically and emotionally ready to try again. Please don't pressure yourself into jumping right back into it out of quilt if you aren't ready. You went through such a difficult experience and you deserve all the time in world you need until you are ready to try again (if that's what you chose to do in the ens$.
Me: 32
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Our little girl is 17-months old (born Oct. 2015)
BFP on 4/5/17 (est. due date 12/18/17)
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Re: Hoping for 2017 Babies II

Postby Danaa » Wed May 03, 2017 4:47 am

Loz my advice to you is if your transfer falls on the presentation days don't do the transfer,stress can play such a huge role in this process plus being on ur feet all day for days in a row can't be too good and if God forbid something happens you will blame urself,also something interesting I read at one point that is worth talking about it with ur doctor is that if the transfer on a natural cycle happens after cd21 it has less chance of working,of course that doesn't mean is true,we saw plenty of women with late ovulation getting pregnant without no problems.
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My Ovulation Chart
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Me 29
DH 31
After 3 years in which we tried everything we are doing IVF in Greece with Iakentro Athens.
Short Protocol with Bemfola and Cetrotide
19mature eggs and we have 9 day5 blasto.
FET#1 ended in a loss around 5 weeks
FET#2 ended in a loss at 22w due to IC,my boys will be forever in my heart .
FET#3 ?
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Re: Hoping for 2017 Babies II

Postby Danaa » Wed May 03, 2017 4:57 am

Unfortunately love cannot overcome everything,not in real life and not from my point of view anyway.
Im the reason why my husband is not a father yet,im the one with problems,in the reason we had to get Ivf and pay thousands of euros just to have our hearts broken.
He loves me and I love him but seeing the fulfillment and happiness in his eyes during my months of pregnancy cannot be taken back and i cannot be this selfish and stay with him if I cannot make him a baby,he might not resent me now but when one of his friends will have a baby or someone form his family or when we will be old still alone he will resent me even if he doesn't want to.
If the situation would have been reversed and he would have denied using donor sperm I think I would've left him from the same reasons,my wish to be a mother is greater than anything,and I can honestly say all these things now after I experienced pregnancy,if we didn't got this far maybe the situation would have been different but feeling those kicks in my belly and watching one of my naughty boy constantly move on the ultrasound is something out of this world and I want it all back and is just not fair having taken those from me and my husband.
Image
My Ovulation Chart
.
Me 29
DH 31
After 3 years in which we tried everything we are doing IVF in Greece with Iakentro Athens.
Short Protocol with Bemfola and Cetrotide
19mature eggs and we have 9 day5 blasto.
FET#1 ended in a loss around 5 weeks
FET#2 ended in a loss at 22w due to IC,my boys will be forever in my heart .
FET#3 ?
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Re: Hoping for 2017 Babies II

Postby Nickysy » Wed May 03, 2017 12:49 pm

Danaa: Thank you for sharing your story with us. I am truly sorry how things turned out in a matter of few hours. Its difficult for me to even fathom what you both would have gone through. But please don't get into guilt space. It doesn't exist. It is not your fault. You need to be kinder towards yourself. Your DH loves you, regardless of whatever happened. And with love, comes a lot of strength and belief. And i totally believe in both of you. I am glad you have in mind the idea of trying again, but don't venture into that space with so much stress. You know it will be difficult to deal with. Your boys will always love you Danaa. Take your time to heal. Its ok to be scared. I really hope you continue to feel our love and support always. You will have a baby or two soon. Hugs.

Loz: I agree with Danaa. If you really think presentation won't allow for the rest you need after the transfer, then i would push it further. Good luck hun.

Whoz: Good luck with testing.

Babydust: I sure am keeping my fingers crossed for your scan on saturday.

Dark Aries: Hello. Thank you for dropping in and showing your support. I am sorry you had to go through a loss yourself. Hugs.

Andi, Fly, Courtney, Star, Faith, Wish, Angela: Hugs. I hope all you awesome ladies are doing well.

AFM, we are planning to move towards IVF in next cycle. My doctor doesn't think i need any more tests as of now. So I have to report on 1st day of my next cycle.
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Me(33), DH (31), Ttc#1 since Sep 2015
Mild endometriosis and PCOD diagnosed feb 2015, DH: Slightly low morphology, great counts.

Nov-Dec 2015- Clomid plus trigger- BFN
HSG-Feb 2016: Tubes perfectly clear
March 2016 IUI: Clomid+Estrogen+ HCG trigger+ Progesterone: BFN
Feb and March 2017- IUI ( Clomid + Hcg Trigger+ Progesterone)- BFN

IVF#1- May-June 2017: 6 embabies frozen on day 3. No fresh transfer.

FET#1- Oct 2017: 3 embabies * day 3 Transferred. Chemical pregnancy.
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Re: Hoping for 2017 Babies II

Postby faithrock » Wed May 03, 2017 6:11 pm

Loz: I agree with Danaa to not to transfer if it falls on days important to your presentation. That is too much added stress on you. I know its not lining up like you wanted it to be but it will for sure line up the way it is meant to be. HUGS You will get through this...deep breathe HUGS

Danaa: Its not your fault. No matter which way you cut it. You are so strong and full of love. You will make your way though this heartbreaking time together. I'm happy you are thinking about what it will take to get IVF ready again. I hope you will have tons of support from your family when its time too. You definitely have it from us. :)

Whoz: I meant to ask what dpo are you on? Allergies are kicking my butt and I can't type for nothing. I hope you get bfp instead of AF.

Nicksys: Many blessings on you next cycle for successful IVF. I hope you are able to post about it online so I can be nosy..hehe I like hearing about all the details. I myself won't ever get the chance to do it because of cost but I admire you women who can. So much preparation involved.

Baby: How are you doing? Did you decide if you are going to go in for a beta or just talk to your doctor about it? Progesterone levels are weird depending on what part of your cycle you are in. I think if it is being tracked that a declining level before 12 weeks would be concerning but most doctors don't really rely much on progesterone from my experience. They just kind of give it to you because 'it can't hurt' since you are pregnant. FX everything is OK. HUGs

EOE HUGS

AFM: Hoping Baby is right and I really ovulated and will be magically pregnant with temps that mirror the rocky mountains...lol :roll: My bbs feel like some thing is trying to happen. But after so many months of ttc I'm truly numb to the core with even trying. The IUI doc wanted tons of money just for blood tests and then more money for the actual IUI. I found a place to get the labs WAY cheaper but I'm still like..geez, is everyone just after money when they see how desperate you are to get preggy? sigh.
DH:3
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DD:6years
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Re: Hoping for 2017 Babies II

Postby orchidsea2016 » Wed May 03, 2017 8:20 pm

Oh Dana I am so sorry for your loss. There are not enough words or hugs or tears to erase the pain but it does get a bit better with time. Prayers that you find healing in the months ahead....
Me-39 DH-37
Lots of heartache and loss but after seven years of trying we were blessed with our daughter Violet who is now two!!
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Re: Hoping for 2017 Babies II

Postby Loz28 » Wed May 03, 2017 9:04 pm

Thanks eoe. I just heard from the clinic that they don't do the transfer for 5 days after ovulation anyway, so I was feeling really relieved because even if I ovulate early next week the transfer would be after my presentation. But now work have moved the presentations to the following week! I will do the transfer either way - I would just need to find a way to take the time off work and not turn up for the presentations. This is more important to me than anything else.
Thanks Dana for the CD21 info and for thinking of me at all during this time. I'm not doing a natural cycle, I'm doing letrozole this time. If it doesn't work I'm going to ask for the injectables next round though. My clinic have said there is no difference based on ovulation day, so I'm trying to trust them!!
Dana, I am sending you love and hugs because it's all I can offer right now. Xx
Me (Lauren) 29, DH (Nick) 32
TTC #1 since May 2015
I have PCOS & Hashimoto's hypothyroidism, DH healthy
Letrozole 5mg CD2-6 since June 2016
IVF antagonist protocol with Gonal-F and orgalutran, started 11 March
Switched to decapeptyl triggers & freeze all cycle due to OHSS
18 eggs collected
14 fertilised & frozen
FET May 15 - BFP! DD 31 Jan
First beta draw @ 4 weeks 2 days - 725 iu/l
Scan @ 8 weeks 2 days - HR 163bpm
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Re: Hoping for 2017 Babies II

Postby Nickysy » Wed May 03, 2017 10:11 pm

Faith: I hope you are preggers this month. I can truly resonate with the feeling of numbness for even trying. DH was keeping track of my days and was surprised I didn't push for BD. For i think i have given up the hope of it being naturally for me. Told him, your science will probably help us next month. Even though breaking our savings and going for the procedure is scaring me to the core. Just have to try. Thats all. Good luck to you. I am most def goimg to keep you guys posted about the procedure.

Loz: I am glad you have the priorities sorted for yourself. All the best hun. Waiting to see your BFP soon..
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My Ovulation Chart


Me(33), DH (31), Ttc#1 since Sep 2015
Mild endometriosis and PCOD diagnosed feb 2015, DH: Slightly low morphology, great counts.

Nov-Dec 2015- Clomid plus trigger- BFN
HSG-Feb 2016: Tubes perfectly clear
March 2016 IUI: Clomid+Estrogen+ HCG trigger+ Progesterone: BFN
Feb and March 2017- IUI ( Clomid + Hcg Trigger+ Progesterone)- BFN

IVF#1- May-June 2017: 6 embabies frozen on day 3. No fresh transfer.

FET#1- Oct 2017: 3 embabies * day 3 Transferred. Chemical pregnancy.
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Re: Hoping for 2017 Babies II

Postby Danaa » Thu May 04, 2017 4:35 am

orchidsea2016 wrote:Oh Dana I am so sorry for your loss. There are not enough words or hugs or tears to erase the pain but it does get a bit better with time. Prayers that you find healing in the months ahead....

Thank you!!They do say time heals everything....
Image
My Ovulation Chart
.
Me 29
DH 31
After 3 years in which we tried everything we are doing IVF in Greece with Iakentro Athens.
Short Protocol with Bemfola and Cetrotide
19mature eggs and we have 9 day5 blasto.
FET#1 ended in a loss around 5 weeks
FET#2 ended in a loss at 22w due to IC,my boys will be forever in my heart .
FET#3 ?
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