Back after 2nd trimester loss..

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Back after 2nd trimester loss..

Postby Roman&LeilanisMommy » Fri Dec 01, 2017 10:31 am

Hi, ladies

I was on this board back in August for the 2nd time when hubby and I were TTC our Rainbow Baby (early loss in April 2016, devasted me. Questioned whether I wanted to TTC again for over a year.) and we hit it on our first month trying! We were so overjoyed. Everything was going right. Hubby got a promotion, we moved back to the city, all was wonderful. Until last week, when at 19 weeks pregnant, I gave birth to my angel baby boy. I am so distraught right now. All I do is cry and I’m not a cryer. Why, God? Why? —I want another baby so badly.. it will NEVER replace my son but I’m having a heartbreaking case of empty arm syndrome right now. is it wrong to already be actively preparing to ttc again?? I downloaded fertility friend, am temping and went on a low carb diet (chronic hypertension, docs said it was a nuchal cord accident that took my baby from me but I can’t help but feel like it was somehow me and my health issues that contributed to his loss.) and downloaded a fertility yoga course. Does that make me a bad person? I’m sorry, this is probably the wrong area to post this but this is the board I know and love and I’m a creature of habit. Thanks for listening, ladies.
Ps: I’ve spent the last 3-4 days reading everything on here.. and I just wanna say that I am terribly sorry for all the loss that everyone has endured. It’s beyond comprehendable and immensely and intensely unfair. :,(
Roman&LeilanisMommy
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Re: Back after 2nd trimester loss..

Postby 7Mk1973 » Fri Dec 01, 2017 11:05 am

Hello there. I feel like if you think you are ready to try again, go for it. No one should tell you other wise. When you are ready, you are ready. I love that you have the strength so soon. Got my fx that it will happen for you in a hurry. Hugs baby dust and sticky vibes. No I believe that this is a fine place to post this.
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Re: Back after 2nd trimester loss..

Postby danielleh22 » Fri Dec 01, 2017 11:47 am

I'm so sorry for your loss. Right now you are grieving/healing, and there is nothing wrong with preparing to conceive again. It is completely up to you when you feel that you ready to try again. I've had two early losses this year alone (granted nothing as far as 19 weeks so my heart goes out to you <3) and preparing myself to conceive whether that be getting healthier or reading up on fertility helped keep from dwelling on my losses. It gave me something to look forward to. Focusing on the future is better than staying in the past. You can't undo that. I went on a very low carb diet (keto) because I had borderline high blood pressure ever since I was pregnant with my first, I lost 24 lbs in 3 months and my blood pressure is amazing now! I also found out I was pregnant last week! I think making my body healthier definitely contributed to that. I'm not saying that your loss was due to you being unhealthy, it just gave me something to focus on to keep my mind occupied. There has been a lot of loss on these boards recently and my heart goes out to everyone <3
Me: 30 Him: 28
DS: Manolo- 1 yr
TTC #2 On Cycle #15 PP
PCOS
After 2 MCs, tested Positive (July 2017) for MTHFR (heterozygous) and Factor V Leidan (blood clotting disorder).
Nov 2017- 2 Failed HSGs due to curvy cervix

BFP #1 July 30, 2015 (Cycle 7) Born April 13th, 2016
BFP #2 Dec 28, 2016 (Cycle 6) Miscarriage @ 5w4d
BFP #3 June 26, 2017 (Cycle 11) Miscarriage @ 4w6d
BFP #4 Nov 18, 2017 (Cycle 15) Betas: 10dpo: 33 12dpo: 90 32dpo: 43,000

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Re: Back after 2nd trimester loss..

Postby Roman&LeilanisMommy » Sat Dec 02, 2017 9:58 am

Thank you so much for your responses, ladies. Just having someone to talk to helps so much. I can’t open up to family and friends right now because speaking out loud about the whole ordeal sends me into fits of despair, anger and longing but typing really helps since there’s a level of disconnectedness (disconnection*? Lol)

7mk: thank you so much for your kind words and acceptance :) it made me feel good.


Danielle: that’s awesome that keto is working so well for you. Congratulations on your pregnancy! I pray that this will be your rainbow take-home baby!

I had great results with keto in 2014/15. I lost 100 lbs and was in near perfect health. But once I reached such a state of physical perfection (jk) I abandoned everything I learned and went right back to binge eating carbs, fried food and alcohol. I gained back all of my weight between 2016-now and I weigh more than I ever have in my life. My appetite and blood pressure were out of control while I was pregnant (Ive been back on keto for 4 days now and I can already feel my blood pressure drastically improving. Crazy).. if DH and I are blessed with another pregnancy, I will NOT play with fire again.. no overeating, no baths, no cold cuts, no Tylenol and I’ll be heeding every piece of advice that my OB gives me (I feel so guilty because my doctor told me to take a crazy amount of vitamin D and B complex everyday since I have a pretty severe deficiency.. I didn’t take them. I also didn’t take the baby aspirin he recommended I take. *cries*) —I’m feeling a lot better today. Not as weepy. Maybe because my bleeding has completely stopped. Seems odd to me as I’m only on CD6 if I’m counting from the day I miscarried. I’ve drank 1+ gallons of lemon water/day since my loss and I think that may have really worked wonders for my healing. Do you ladies think my hcg could be back to baseline so soon?? I ordered some cheapie hpts and opks off of amazon this morning! I’ll admit that while I am pretty scared to TTC again, I’m equally as excited. And in full disclosure, I don’t feel guilty about it. Over the last 24 hours I’ve kind of come to terms with the idea that my sweet boy came here to teach me a lesson... to shock me out of my bulletproof persona and take charge of my physical health. I have this really strong and wacky feeling that his soul will come back to me. That could just be the weirdo Buddhist in me (lol) but it gives me an incredible amount of comfort and I feel really optimistic about the future now, despite this tragedy.

Sorry for the book, lol. How far along are you, Danielle? What cycle day are you, 7mk? Hope you ladies have a blessed afternoon :)
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Re: Back after 2nd trimester loss..

Postby danielleh22 » Sat Dec 02, 2017 10:17 am

Thank you- we hope so too! I'm only 5 weeks so just trying to get out of that first-trimester hump so I feel more comfortable about actually carrying a rainbow baby. Both my losses were super early so all I do is worry which I know doesn't do anyone any good!

Keto has been the only diet that I found that I could stay on. The first week is always super rough on me to get my body off of being used to consuming so much carbs but then I'm pretty good after that! I find myself not as hungry as often. I still can't believe it helped so much with my blood pressure since I was eating so much bacon and fat, but I was eating way less processed food which is what I think affected my blood pressure. I've actually been off Keto since Thanksgiving mainly because I had family over, and that was when I found out I was pregnant. I want to clear it through my doctor first. I really want to get back on it because I fully believe that's the only way for me to keep my blood pressure down while I'm pregnant. It's just hard right now because I'm nauseous so all my body wants is carbs and no meat. I might actually try to go back on it in my second trimester once the MS funk has gone away. I will say that for TTC purposes, my cycles are always crazy. My doctor said that I more than likely have PCOS (bloodwork came back wonky, but I go to military doctors, and they are super reluctant to actually make diagnoses). So when I was keto for about 2 months, my cycles for the first time EVER started to normalize. Instead of ovulating between CD 19-45, and I actually ovulated like a normal person on CD 16-17 that last two cycles including the one that I became pregnant. I would do Keto any day if that meant normalizing my cycles! Honestly, keto is more a way of life than short-term weight loss. I could definitely see weight gain if you go back to eating carbs. I can already see it with myself, and I've been off of it for 2 weeks. I also take baby aspirin. You just need to get into a routine so that you remember to take them. I take all my vitamins right before I go to sleep. It's become a nightly ritual so now I never forget! Don't beat yourself up on the "what ifs". You didn't cause your loss. Sometimes unfortunate things happen, and you can't go down that dark path because it will prevent you from living in the present. I know you will become pregnant soon and will take home a healthy rainbow baby <3 Just try to stay positive, and it sounds like you are doing everything you can to help yourself.
Me: 30 Him: 28
DS: Manolo- 1 yr
TTC #2 On Cycle #15 PP
PCOS
After 2 MCs, tested Positive (July 2017) for MTHFR (heterozygous) and Factor V Leidan (blood clotting disorder).
Nov 2017- 2 Failed HSGs due to curvy cervix

BFP #1 July 30, 2015 (Cycle 7) Born April 13th, 2016
BFP #2 Dec 28, 2016 (Cycle 6) Miscarriage @ 5w4d
BFP #3 June 26, 2017 (Cycle 11) Miscarriage @ 4w6d
BFP #4 Nov 18, 2017 (Cycle 15) Betas: 10dpo: 33 12dpo: 90 32dpo: 43,000

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My Ovulation Chart
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Re: Back after 2nd trimester loss..

Postby Danaa » Sat Dec 02, 2017 12:59 pm

Roman&Leilanismommy im so,so,sorry for yours loss,I lost twin boys at 22weeks and today I had a D&C bcs i had a missed misscariage,I know exactly how you feel,I know so well what you’re going trough.
My doctor told me to wait 3 cycles before trying again and that is what i did and I got pregnant right away but my case is a bit different bcs I had Ivf,as long as you are ready mentally to try again I say go for it,do what you feel is best for you.
After I lost my boys i walked my dog every day and i was eating pretty healthy,no carbs,limited sugar intake.
All I can say is good luck,I wish you get your rainbow baby soon.
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My Ovulation Chart
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Me 29
DH 31
After 3 years in which we tried everything we are doing IVF in Greece with Iakentro Athens.
Short Protocol with Bemfola and Cetrotide
19mature eggs and we have 9 day5 blasto.
FET#1 ended in a loss around 5 weeks
FET#2 ended in a loss at 22w due to IC,my boys will be forever in my heart .
FET#3 ?
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Re: Back after 2nd trimester loss..

Postby 7Mk1973 » Sat Dec 02, 2017 6:27 pm

Roman&LeilanisMommy I'm 4 to 7 dpo. Happily in the tww. Had a great bd schedule with my dh and having lots of fun playing volleyball and badminton with dh.
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