2 years TTC, 1 miscarriage, and everyone else is prego...

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2 years TTC, 1 miscarriage, and everyone else is prego...

Postby MandyK » Wed Feb 22, 2012 8:19 pm

I found out I was pregnant with our first child in February of 2010. Couldn't be more excited! We had been married for 2 years and we were ready. HAd just gotten off the pill in November and weren't "officially" TTC yet, and it just happened. We wound up going on vacation (cruise) and had a miscarriage at 8 weeks while on the cruise. (March 2010)

We were both crushed. Our doctor told us that it must have just not been a viable pregnancy.. Whatever the heck that is supposed to mean. I was pregnant.. Obviously it was viable or I wouldn't have BEEN prego! Ugh! But we took her advice to stop "trying" for atleast 3 months. During the next 5 months I gained 30 pounds of depression weight and found out my SIL was expecting her second.

We started trying again in July of 2010 and have been trying ever since. My due date came and went and that was hard. Then my other SIL found out she was prego and the other gave birth to a beautiful boy. It was hard to be around 2 pregnant women and a new baby soon thereafter knowing I should be holding my baby now.

I moved and had to change Doctors and I'm not a big fan of the one I found.. After over a year of trying he told me that he wasn't worried because I had been pregnant before therefore it was "secondary infertility" and then proceeded to tell me that because i cried when talking about the baby I had lost (sorry, I'm an emotional person, I cry over everything) that maybe I wasn't READY to get pregnant again.

Now, I know I'm scared of suffering another miscarriage and having to go through the same pain again, but for a Doctor to tell you that you're not ready when you just met him and he doesn't know anything about me and the fact that I cry over HAPPY songs and commercials is just horrible.

I don't want to go back to him but I hate to have to change doctors again. its been 2 years of TTC and I don't know what to do! I need advice and help. I'm wanting things to be natural and we don't have money for any other methods. Any advice would be great.
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Postby JMS » Thu Feb 23, 2012 4:30 pm

If you are uncomfortable with your doctor, you should switch no matter how much of a pain it is. I am trying to find a new RE as well. My husband wasn't comfortable with the last one. I thought she was fine, but we both have to be on board for this to work. I requested my records from her and once I have those I will move on to a new one. I have been TTC for almost 3 1/2 years and it's very emotional. You have to feel like you have the support of your doctor and feel comfortable with him/her.

I am not sure what you are already doing, but have you considered acupuncture and TCM?
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Postby jessica3538 » Fri Jun 22, 2012 2:21 pm

I know exactly how you feel...my baby would have been 8 days old today... i miscarried at 10 wks and waiting since to get a BFP again. Meanwhile one of my 2 best friends has delivered a baby and the second just crossed the first trim.

I can't seem to cope with the emptiness, feels like life has come to a standstill for me while the rest of the world is moving ahead...


p.s. sounds like you should change your doc. It is not easy getting over losing a baby, esp when the 2nd one doesn't come along soon. That doesn't mean that you are not ready...
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Postby conniettcbaby1 » Sun Jul 08, 2012 7:24 pm

You know inside you are ready and in fact have obviously been ready for a long time. We are allowed to feel sad, we are allowed to cry and we are allowed to feel jealous. I have 13 of my immediate/close friends that are due or just had their babies THIRTEEN! I can;t go anywhere without it being a baby fest or a preggo fest. I have never had a m/c and have been trying longer than any of them were and am about to start our first IVF.

You can get pregnant, and you will get pregnant again. And if you cannot afford trhe expensive medical treatments really start focusing on yourself, with acupuncture and herbs, and have a look at your diet and starting to cut out things like processed foods etc.

I am so sorry you feel like this, I am sorry we all do but one day you will be writing on the BFP story board and someone will get some hope from you... good luck!
Me 30 DH 33
Ttc since March 2011
Me - PCOS, possible endo and hypothalmus dysfunction
DH - perfect
Lots of Clomid - all BFN, Injections galore - never got to IUI as always cancelled
IVF Round #1 5dt 1 perfect blast two in the freezer - BFP!
6w3d HB 106bpm
8w6d no HB MMC
9w0d D&C
FET #1 November
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Postby jaimikins » Sun Aug 05, 2012 10:07 am

I'm so sorry for your loss. Though I haven't quite experienced that, my DH and I have been TTC for 2 1/2 yrs and just found out 3 of our really good friends just got BFP's on their 1st mo TTC. This is a very long and frustrating road which makes it increasingly difficult to stay positive.
As far as the Dr, I think it best to see someone you are happy with and that wants to work with you. Being a cryer/tearer myself I wldnt want to feel judged for it. Sry it's such a pain to switch again.
I wish all the best to you and everyone here!
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