How do you stay positive?

This board is for anyone TTC for over a year or longer.

Moderators: unaffected, JessM, southernbelle, maddy

How do you stay positive?

Postby conniettcbaby1 » Sat Mar 03, 2012 6:45 pm

I was wondering how you guys all stay positive month after month of BFN's? With everyone else getting pregnant and having their babies? It's so hard isn't it!
Me 30 DH 33
Ttc since March 2011
Me - PCOS, possible endo and hypothalmus dysfunction
DH - perfect
Lots of Clomid - all BFN, Injections galore - never got to IUI as always cancelled
IVF Round #1 5dt 1 perfect blast two in the freezer - BFP!
6w3d HB 106bpm
8w6d no HB MMC
9w0d D&C
FET #1 November
User avatar
conniettcbaby1
BabyDuster
BabyDuster
 
Posts: 73
Joined: Fri Feb 10, 2012 1:00 am

Postby maddy » Mon Mar 05, 2012 5:49 am

I quit testing with HPTs and that has helped a little. Its hard thats for sure!
User avatar
maddy
Moderator
Moderator
 
Posts: 3171
Joined: Fri Feb 10, 2006 1:00 am

Postby kitcat1105 » Thu Mar 08, 2012 3:08 pm

I think it's a defense mechanism. I often wonder what it would be like to just give up...but I know I wouldn't just now. I think you have to let yourself have a breakdown every once in awhile too. I know I get weepy at least once every month.
Me 35 DH 41 TTC since Oct 2010
"Unexplained Infertility"
1st IUI March 4th (50 mg. clomid) - BFN
2nd IUI end of April (50 mg. clomid) - BFN
3rd IUI end of May (50 mg. clomid) - BFN
4th IUI June 18 (50 mg clomid) - BFN
August IVF
ER Thurs 8/9!
5 DT Tuesday 8/14- Transfered 1 5 day blast, 3 potential frosties
Beta Fri Aug 24th -bfn
On a break I guess. Thinking about getting a lap done.

My Ovulation Chart
kitcat1105
TTC Diva
TTC Diva
 
Posts: 455
Joined: Sun Apr 10, 2011 12:00 am

Postby unaffected » Fri Mar 09, 2012 7:15 am

I stopped getting my hopes up that I would get a BFP. And it also helps me to stay positive when I have a plan (or two) in place (doc appt, IUI, IVF, etc).

:luck:
Me (Kara): 30 DH: 30 ♥
TTC#1 since 2007
:angel2: Jan 2012 - No hb at 9w1d - d&c (Turner Syndrome/Monosomy X)
FET#3 - BFP!
Betas: 8dp6dt/14dpo - 124; 10dp6dt/16dpo - 317; 16dp6dt/22dpo - 6,289; 23dp6dt/29dpo - 32,961
It's a boy!
Henry Marshall arrived on January 9, 2013 (39w2d)
8lbs 5oz, 20"

Image

Image

My Blog
User avatar
unaffected
Super moderator
Super moderator
 
Posts: 2246
Joined: Thu Mar 11, 2010 1:00 am

Postby conniettcbaby1 » Mon Mar 12, 2012 7:28 pm

Thanks so much for your advise girls, it really is so hard!

It's almost funny to watch me as I go through all these phases, at times I just obsess over everything (charting, forums, tempting, POAS, sypmtom spotting etc) right through to other times when I think 'nah I don't want kids anyway' and decide to give up.

I am currently going through an 'I don't want them now anyway' phase and have decided not to take my last (6th) clomid tablets, however let's see which phase I am in next week when I am due to take them again hahaha!

I've found not getting my hopes up is helping me the most, I am not even hoping I am pregnant this month and am literally just living my old normal life like before the ttc hurricane arrived!
Me 30 DH 33
Ttc since March 2011
Me - PCOS, possible endo and hypothalmus dysfunction
DH - perfect
Lots of Clomid - all BFN, Injections galore - never got to IUI as always cancelled
IVF Round #1 5dt 1 perfect blast two in the freezer - BFP!
6w3d HB 106bpm
8w6d no HB MMC
9w0d D&C
FET #1 November
User avatar
conniettcbaby1
BabyDuster
BabyDuster
 
Posts: 73
Joined: Fri Feb 10, 2012 1:00 am

Postby MBV4 » Tue Mar 20, 2012 8:49 pm

It's so hard, that's for sure. Especially when *everyone* seems to be preg around me. I find that not POAS until AF is late is helpful. I also allow myself to have a meltdown every so often; if I want to cry, I cry. Holding it in isn't healthy. Taking a break from the online world is great as well...I tend to read too much of the YAY! I GOT A BFP!! posts, which is adding insult to injury. I mean, sometimes I'm a glutton for punishment and I must check myself :).

Often I get in the zone of acting like I'm preg when I'm not. I'm talking about cutting out certain foods, not ordering a glass of wine when out with DH or girlfriends when I'm not twwing, etc. We must live our lives and take care of our bodies as best as we can, but denying ourselves what makes us happy and full of life in the first place *in moderation* seems to be counterintuitive. Just my two cents.

Be well everyone and happy (early) Wednesday!
me - 38...is the new 28 :)
DH - 32
TTC #1 since 1/1/11
Diagnostic lap 6/11/12
DX: Fallopian tubes clear!
4 small fibroids removed (2 uterine, 2 ovarian)
OK'd to resume ttcing *this* cycle (June '12)!
User avatar
MBV4
TTC Queen
TTC Queen
 
Posts: 317
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 12:00 am
Location: Munich, Germany

Postby lilbug » Sun Sep 09, 2012 10:11 am

I go through ups and downs depending on the month or year. :(

The worst for me is when people "accidently" get pregnant, especially very young people of people that are not in commited relationships, and then to get invited to their baby showers. Ick
Lately I just haven't been able to go to the showers of others. I don't want to be the one that burst into tears in the middle of the gift opening or something.

I really dont know what to say to keep postive anymore, I use to do yoga or excersize or just stay busy. That just doesn't cut it anymore. :(
Let me know if you find some good advice.
User avatar
lilbug
Friend
 
Posts: 8
Joined: Sat Sep 08, 2012 12:00 am

Re: How do you stay positive?

Postby conniettcbaby1 » Thu Sep 20, 2012 12:12 am

Well since I started this post in February I have gone from Clomid to injectables to IVF. Finally got our BFP through IVF but it ended in a missed miscarriage at 9 weeks and having to get a D&C to get my little baby out. We've now decided that we can't go through this again for a while and have decided to give up. I was sinking really far into depression and couldn't see anything good in my life when really, this was the only thing that was bad. So we are giving up!

Wish I could have seen into the future when I first wrote this post and told myself to just give up back then, would have saved a heck of a lot of heartbreak but you learn from your mistakes and my only advise is don't let it take over your life, I was always such a happy carefree person and I now feel like the universe is against me,I miss the old me and I want her back.
Good luck guys and do everything you can to stay positive, don't let ttc ruin your lives!
Me 30 DH 33
Ttc since March 2011
Me - PCOS, possible endo and hypothalmus dysfunction
DH - perfect
Lots of Clomid - all BFN, Injections galore - never got to IUI as always cancelled
IVF Round #1 5dt 1 perfect blast two in the freezer - BFP!
6w3d HB 106bpm
8w6d no HB MMC
9w0d D&C
FET #1 November
User avatar
conniettcbaby1
BabyDuster
BabyDuster
 
Posts: 73
Joined: Fri Feb 10, 2012 1:00 am

Re: How do you stay positive?

Postby smari » Mon Sep 24, 2012 10:55 am

Connie, I'm so sorry to hear you are throwing in the towel, but I know exactly how you feel. I just got my BFN bloodwork from my first IVF cycle today. I was devestated yesterday when I took the HPT and it was a BFN. Today, I just feel dead inside. Like this is never going to happen for me. I use to be so positive but it's getting harder and harder each month. Our situation is male factor and my husband feels incredibly guilty and is always saying sorry. I know seeing me upset, kills him. I'm trying so hard to play things cool and keep faith. I hope this pain is not in vain.

I hope you find peace in your situation and you are back to your old self soon!
User avatar
smari
BabyDuster
BabyDuster
 
Posts: 66
Joined: Mon Aug 15, 2011 12:00 am

Re: How do you stay positive?

Postby hunnybunny23 » Sun Oct 07, 2012 12:34 pm

i also stopped the obsessing with charts and hpts the only reason i took one last cycle was because i needed to make sure i wasnt pregnant before starting clomid, i was pregnant but i miscarried. we have been going 13 months and taking a break
Image
Image
Image

me:26 OH: 28
DS born: 42w1d cs 14.05.09
DD born 42w1d induced VBAC Assisted forceps 15.04.11
DS2 40w4d Spontaneous natural 2VBAC 27.10.13
hunnybunny23
Girlfriend
Girlfriend
 
Posts: 1286
Joined: Tue Aug 07, 2007 12:00 am
Location: leeds uk

Re: How do you stay positive?

Postby tryingtobepatient » Mon Nov 05, 2012 11:43 am

I really feel for you ladies. After trying for over a year with my ex husband, been trying just over a year with my new fiance. So far, tests have not shown anything wrong with me but this can't be the case.

I feel like my life is totally on hold waiting for this to happen, i don't want to start a new job or make any expensive purchases 'just in case' this is the month it happens, but it never does happen.

Just had HSG this cycle and i'm trying to keep positive given the figures on BFP after HSG but it's so hard. Ironically, my most positive time is a day or two after AF arrives.. feels like a fresh start. TWW is just pure torture, i really don't know how much longer I keep putting myself through it.

xxx
tryingtobepatient
 
Posts: 3
Joined: Mon Nov 05, 2012 11:26 am

Re: How do you stay positive?

Postby maddy » Thu Dec 13, 2012 4:00 am

I have been alternating TTC cycles with NTNP in between. It has helped keep me happy and sane, while still ttc. This seems to be working lately. :D
User avatar
maddy
Moderator
Moderator
 
Posts: 3171
Joined: Fri Feb 10, 2006 1:00 am


Return to TTC Over 12 Months