For the sake of my sanity....:(

This board is for anyone TTC for over a year or longer.

Moderators: unaffected, JessM, southernbelle, maddy

For the sake of my sanity....:(

Postby AlishaAnn » Mon May 07, 2012 7:30 am

I am officially throwing in the towel. It was this month 2 years ago when we found out we were pregnant and I was so excited we had been trying for over a year. We had a miscarriage in July 2010. I was hurt and very much sad but to me there was a little bit of a silver linning because at least we "could" get pregnant. Everyone aound me said it will be easier to get pregnant now. Well they were wrong. I have peed on so many sticks I could probably build a house out of them. I have seen so many BFN and had so many "this has got to be it months" which have only led to disappointment. I have driven my husband crazy talking about ovulation test, temperatures, cervix, sperm, cm, cp, and scheduling sex. With all of that sex has become more of a science experiment than anything else. Its hard to even enjoy anymore.
And now my sister in law who is my only girlfriend has decided that they are now going to try for another baby. This is the same girl that lost her v and got pregnant and the same one who never wanted kids. While I am as happy as I can be for her I am having a really hard time. We would talk about it and she says she is nervous it isnt going to happen the first month and I am like yeah I know the feeling. She is already like you can take me to all my appointments and throw my baby shower. I know I should be like YAY how fun which I do say to her but my heart hurts so bad. At one point she mentioned to me that her husband was worried about having a baby because of me. While I understand the intentions were good that sucks to hear. I have to go into the planning of someone elses baby because I am having a hard time having one. This coming from the same guy who told me he was glad that they had their baby young. I was like yeah thanks...
Really trying to come to the conclusion.....So for the sake of my sanity I am giving up. I find it important to mention that while we arent like "struggling" money wise we are definitly not wealthy. We cant afford other options. I want to be happy again I want to smile when I see a baby or a pregant women instead of it breaking my heart and making it hard to breathe. I want to have sex with my husband for the intimacy instead of his sperm. I want the jealousy and bitterness to go away. But most of all I want this gut wrenching heartbreak to go away.

I had posted this in another place but decided i should have posted it here.
AlishaAnn
BabyDuster
BabyDuster
 
Posts: 53
Joined: Fri Jan 13, 2012 1:00 am

Postby lovebabytime » Fri May 18, 2012 7:28 pm

:cry: Thank you for sharing your story, I can relate with some of the things you have said. Bless your heart..
Me: 34 DH: 36
Together since 1997, Married in July 2003
DD born 10/23/07
TTC#2 since July 2010
Image
My Ovulation Chart
lovebabytime
TTC Princess
TTC Princess
 
Posts: 188
Joined: Wed Mar 03, 2010 1:00 am

Postby AlishaAnn » Sat May 19, 2012 10:10 am

Thank you for the reply. Its really hard to accept it but I have to :(
AlishaAnn
BabyDuster
BabyDuster
 
Posts: 53
Joined: Fri Jan 13, 2012 1:00 am

Postby goobermom » Sun May 20, 2012 7:23 pm

(hugs) yes, a tough decision, but you know what is needed for your sanity!
me (34) husband (41)
son (14), spoiled cat
TTC since August '08
Clomid/IUI x3; Follistim/IUI x3
natural BFP- M/C :(
Low Vitamin D, High FSH
Letrozole, TI, progesterone, estrace- BFN (x4)
High FSH, RE recommending donor egg
End of our TTC journey???
User avatar
goobermom
Girlfriend
Girlfriend
 
Posts: 669
Joined: Mon Nov 02, 2009 1:00 am

Postby AlishaAnn » Thu Aug 09, 2012 9:08 am

Officailly back :) My dh has quit drinking its been 2 weeks now :) I am fixing to start a job to give myself something else to think about :) Im really excited and I just know that God is going to bless us with a child!!!
AlishaAnn
BabyDuster
BabyDuster
 
Posts: 53
Joined: Fri Jan 13, 2012 1:00 am

Postby jaimikins » Sat Aug 11, 2012 12:33 pm

Welcome back to the watching, waiting n living two weeks at a time! GL to all of us this month! Positive thoughts!
User avatar
jaimikins
Friend
 
Posts: 6
Joined: Sun Aug 05, 2012 12:00 am


Return to TTC Over 12 Months