I need help

Share diet plans, exercise routines, recipies, and find support.

Moderators: unaffected, JessM, southernbelle, maddy

I need help

Postby PinkBabyDust » Mon Jun 23, 2008 7:36 pm

I just, and I mean literally JUST found out from my dh that he doesnt really find me attractive because I gained 20 lbs since i met him. I was 120 when I met him and I weigh 140 on the dot now. I am heart broken and i feel so disgusting and I just want to lose weight and I want to lose it now.

Anyone have any suggestions on what I can do because I am clueless on how to lose weight.....
Image
PinkBabyDust
Member
Member
 
Posts: 23
Joined: Mon May 14, 2007 12:00 am
Location: Sidman, PA

Postby fuel1316 » Mon Jun 23, 2008 8:04 pm

omg im sorry your dh is that insensitive. althought there is nothing you can do to drop 20 lbs this second, and even if you could its very unhealthy and you would put it right back on anyways, you can start exercising and making small changes in your diet. add more fruits and veggies and eat less fatty foods and sweets. you want your weight loss to come off very gradualy (even if you dont feel that way now) if you loose too much too fast it will be very hard to keep it off. hence why crash diets dont work.

im sorry that this happened and your upset, but please dont wallow in it because it can make you depressed or more depressed and casue you to eat more or exercise less.

and just fyi a large % of women gain weight after marriage because the pick up and adapt to thier husbands poor eating habits that they were used to before you. my dh ate mcdonalds and fast food every day because it was cheap and easy and helped him avoid the grocery store, now that were married i try and get him to eat better by making dinner but there are night where i just say "awwe who cares lets eat our" and thats how it gets you.

i know im just rambling on on but i really am worried about you! when i was 16 (and im not saying your like this at all) but when i was 16 i was a normal weight, not the skinniest girl around but 5'9 and was a pretty averaged size and my first bf was verbaly abusive and always called me fat, and said mean things and would get me a small little bowl of ice cream and get him self a huge one and i quickly became anorexic. i droped to 120 which for my height is underweight then he dumped me and i got my sh*t together and was able to kick it and maintain a healthy weight and eating habit and i dont want you to feel like i did because you love him and you might feel like youll do anything. if your happy with the way you are then he can deal with it. hopfuly he didnt marry you for your waist and if thats a deal break for him thats pretty bad. but if your unhappy and he is too then make the changes to fix the problem.

exercise
diet- small changes and keep it well rounded. dont cut out snack food or chips and chocolate, but keep it to a minimum when you start leaving out the foods you crave or love it causes you to fall of the diet wagon.

me i love garlic bread, i could eat it all day, its my comfort food, its all i ate when my dad died. its very fatning but i dont cut it out i just eat less of it, less times than i used to.

GL i hope things get better and let me know if you need any tips or even some one to rant or talk to
elisa *26* :hb: christopher *28* 10/05/07
baby hope :angel: mc at 5weeks 05/16/08
http://sheis1toughcookie.blogspot.com/
<a href="http://lilypie.com/"><img src="http://lb2f.lilypie.com/iw1jm7.png" width="400" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie Second Birthday tickers" /></a>
Image
Image
User avatar
fuel1316
Member
Member
 
Posts: 28
Joined: Fri Jun 06, 2008 12:00 am
Location: cali

Postby PinkBabyDust » Mon Jun 23, 2008 8:13 pm

Thank you so much sweetie.

I need all the tips I can get. I have NO idea where to start or what to do. I waas just talking to my BFF today about joining a gym, the only problem with that is dh is so obsessed with our money that he wouldnt be real happy about me spending it at the gym.

I am NOT happy with myself and havent been for some time. He knows that and has NEVER said anything to try to make me feel better about myself, he withdrew from me sexually, physically and sexually, and I knew that he wasn't happy with me either.

Let me share something with you. Wehn I was a teenager, I also had an abusive boyfriend. Although he never called me fat, he made me feel disgusting. Almost every relationship I have been in has made me feel this way, and dh is no exception. He has never said anything per say, its just his actions or lack there of.

I have wanted to lose weight for some time, but I just dont know how to. I am so lost....I can't find any free videos online, I cant really afford to go to the gym, and I have no exercise equipment at home, no videos, nothing. I need all the help I can get.

Thanks again sweetie, I really appreciate your help and encouragement.
Image
PinkBabyDust
Member
Member
 
Posts: 23
Joined: Mon May 14, 2007 12:00 am
Location: Sidman, PA

Postby fuel1316 » Mon Jun 23, 2008 8:29 pm

im sorry that you too have had your deal with the abusive bf, its not somethng i would ever want my future daughter to go through and it scares me i cant really do much to keep it from her except teach her she CAN walk away.

im not sure if you have a dog or not but talking a dog for a walk around the block or to a park can be a great bond for you and your dog and a great exercise routine that you would want to stick to. if not, let dh know if he doesnt want to spend money on gym memberships he can start walking with you, im not sure where you live but taking up hiking on the weekend or even better i love geocaching! if you dont know it you can look it up but its a great activity that requires walking and some times hiking.

some times on tv early in the morning they have thoes random tv channel ameture exercise shows you can follow along or tape/dvr/tivo if you have it and do it when you feel like it. i went to walmart and bought a tredmill we keep in the garage, its kind of loud so we keep it out there so not to wake up dh it was pretty cheap maybe $100-150 its still cheaper than a gym and lasts more than a year. oh you can look at craigslist, or penny saver for used equipment or even ebay for some tapes.

another tip (lol im full of them) im not sure what you do for work or if you do at all but if you go and get one of thoe giant arobics balls you use it for an hour or too as a chair at your desk or even watching tv and just your body keeping your balance on it works and tones your tummy muscles.

and if your looking for a good taped work out i find hip hop abs to be a good one, it has good up beat music to dance to and its more like club dance moves and less like boring exercise moves
elisa *26* :hb: christopher *28* 10/05/07
baby hope :angel: mc at 5weeks 05/16/08
http://sheis1toughcookie.blogspot.com/
<a href="http://lilypie.com/"><img src="http://lb2f.lilypie.com/iw1jm7.png" width="400" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie Second Birthday tickers" /></a>
Image
Image
User avatar
fuel1316
Member
Member
 
Posts: 28
Joined: Fri Jun 06, 2008 12:00 am
Location: cali

Postby PinkBabyDust » Mon Jun 23, 2008 8:38 pm

Thank you so much sweetie....I live in a city, so there is no place to hike around here. I did start a routine of walking my puppy every day, but I havent done it in a few days. Its hard to get that motivation, but I guess I have it now. I just signed up to www.sparkpeople.com too. I guess this free site is supposed to help. Tonight will be my last glass of soda. I am a total mt dew drinker. And my dh...well thats ALL he drinks. So thats ALL that is ever in my house because he buys two liters on his way home from work all the time.....

I have to go to bed now,

thank you so much for all of your help...youre so sweet for offering your advice.!!

xoxo
Image
PinkBabyDust
Member
Member
 
Posts: 23
Joined: Mon May 14, 2007 12:00 am
Location: Sidman, PA

Postby fuel1316 » Mon Jun 23, 2008 8:51 pm

n/p hope it helps. i know motivation can be tough to find but if you cant motivate yourself and dh isnt motivation than pregnancy and a baby should be. your just going to get bigger with baby and its good to keep on the exercise for pre and post pregnancy, i walk everyday for my baby because i know when i get pg again i need to be the healthiest i can for my baby and our future.

what helps me is a routine: i wake up around 9 (helps that i dont work :wink: ) do a few chores and pick up the house, at 10 i turn on frost hiedi and frank show and get on the treadmill for 1 hour. then at 11 i get in the shower and clean up. 11:30 i watch the young and the restless (lol my guilty pleasure) and while i watchi it i eat breakfast and take my pills then at 12:30 i start my day, run my errands, do laundry, shopping, clean house, water the yard, etc.

im not sure if the whole diet things is something youll pick up but i find it easy when i go to the store for groceries i buy some fruit, not alot since it goes bad quickly, i get jars of baby applesauce and pears and i eat one with breakfast and have a bowl of cheerios or an english muffin with it, so i get the perfect amount of fruit with a meal. and if your daring enough (im not!lol) you could do the same with veggies lol eww. i just like the applesauce since its pretty much like regular applesauce just in a cheap perfect serving

i hope you have a good night, i know it can be hard with dh saying what he said but keep your head up, you can do it.
elisa *26* :hb: christopher *28* 10/05/07
baby hope :angel: mc at 5weeks 05/16/08
http://sheis1toughcookie.blogspot.com/
<a href="http://lilypie.com/"><img src="http://lb2f.lilypie.com/iw1jm7.png" width="400" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie Second Birthday tickers" /></a>
Image
Image
User avatar
fuel1316
Member
Member
 
Posts: 28
Joined: Fri Jun 06, 2008 12:00 am
Location: cali

Postby iwannabeamum » Thu Jun 26, 2008 3:19 am

hiya i've just been posting in the ttc in our 20s section moaning about my weight gain. i've lost over 17lbs with weight watchers, it's a great class to take up as they don't just help you lose weight they motivate you and teach you about healthy living in general. i was shocked at how much difference drinking coffee made (i drink it with skimmed milk but still). my first class i was all, "OMG where are the fat people?" then you get talking and realise these people were huge before this must be good. as daft as this might sound counting points and doing exercise helps distract from ttc obsession too. i know i'm not fat but i'm bigger than i'd like and certainly bigger than the woman my DH fell for. the other thing i'd say is lose the weight for yourself if you go because you think you should you won't lose it as quick as if you go because you want to.
have fun with it and good luck :-)
Me - 29 DH - 27 TTC - Aug 07
Image
User avatar
iwannabeamum
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Thu Jun 05, 2008 12:00 am
Location: Nottinghamshire, UK

Postby starbuckschick » Tue Jul 08, 2008 7:09 pm

pink-

I am so sorry! I have been battling my weight for a few years- and I have about 20-30 pounds to lose right now! A few years ago I lost about 30 pounds.. and this is how I did it:

* I went vegan. I was already a vegetarian. I bet if you're currently a meat eater that if you cut out some meat and switch it with veggie foods you'll lose weight. The fake stuff is so good these days- very low in cals and usually no cholesterol at all. Veggie burgers, chicken, even ribs and hot dogs! One Morningstar veggie hot dog is only 80 calories! :)

* I worked out about 2-3 times a week. You can use cans or water bottles as weights. The book Body for Life is very good and shows you routines you can to at home. For your cardio you can walk around the block.

* I also counted my calories. I tried to eat around 1,300-1,600 a day.



I have read that dieting while TTC can cause you're body and hormones to get wacky. Of course, if you're really depressed about your weight then it might be best to lose some and be happier before you're pg.

Good luck! I'm sure you look beautiful right now! If you decide to lose this weight.. make sure you're doing it for yourself. When I work out, I also think about gettting stronger and healthier rather than having a number in mind. It helps me stay motivated.

PM me if you wanna chat!
Me- (Greta) 29
Dh- (James) 27
Married- 2004
PG with #1
Due- May 12, 2009


Image
User avatar
starbuckschick
Friend
 
Posts: 4
Joined: Sat Jul 05, 2008 12:00 am
Location: Delaware

Postby jenniona » Tue Jul 08, 2008 7:32 pm

pink and fuel: i've been there with the abuse and belittling too. thankfully DH is not like that. i'm actually 12 lbs lighter than when dh proposed, but am still around 25 lbs bigger than i'd like to be.

pink: i'm sorry you are being treated that way, you are a beautiful girl. i don't understand that kind of mentality from men. i can't imagine ever thinking that about my husband. *hugs* men suck sometimes.

i did really well in 2006, counting calories and keeping a food diary, i got almost down to my goal weight and my relationship with my exbf turned sour. i gained and gained.

what works for me, and what i need to get back to is keeping a food diary. http://www.fitday.com is free. it's what i use. it has a chart that tells you how many carbs, proteins, and fats you eat. From research it seems that a good amount is a diet of 55-60% carbs, 20-30% fats, and 15-20% protein. using a chart like this makes it easy for me to stay within those ranges.

whatever you do, don't starve yourself, that never helps. always eat breakfast.
Me - Jenny 28
DH - 28
TTC #1 Since Feb 2008
Severe Male Factor, RE recommends IVF w/ICSI

IVF/ICSI - Start Stims Aug 26, 2009


Image
User avatar
jenniona
Friend
 
Posts: 12
Joined: Wed Jul 02, 2008 12:00 am

Postby Debs307 » Thu Jul 10, 2008 12:22 am

Pinkbabydust, I agree that your husband is being insensitive. Unfortunately, the only one that can change how you feel about yourself is you. I'd be happy to help as much as I can. I need a good workout buddy, even if it is online. Lol

I lost about 25 lbs a couple years ago working out in my basement and watching what I ate. You just need a couple of dumbbells and and 1 or 2 good workout videos. I get exercise ideas from magazines (Women's Health and Oxygen mainly), but bodybuilding.com is good to. They have a place where you can enter the body part and it gives you the exercises and demonstrates how to do them.

If you're clueless about how to cook healthy food the Eat-Clean Diet cookbook is a good place to start (I have to find my copy). Also Weight Watchers has a good cookbook and I love Devin Alexander's show on Discovery Health called Healthy Decadence. All of the recipes are on the Discovery Health website and she also has written some cookbooks.

The key is to eat fewer calories than you expend. If you have any questions, feel free to PM me. I have a ton of books/magazines so I should be able to find good answers.
Debbie(29) Image Aaron(32) happily married for 7 years!

Image

Image
Image
User avatar
Debs307
Friend
 
Posts: 17
Joined: Thu Apr 24, 2008 12:00 am
Location: Ohio

Postby flipflip » Fri Jul 11, 2008 12:02 pm

I'm sorry your husband is being a jerk. Ask him if he married you for you, or your weight. I'm sorry but to me...when you marry someone you marry them for them. Ive gained probably 60 pounds since hubby and I met. If he EVER, EVER said anything negative about it I'd have his @ss sitting on a curb soo fast it would make his head spin.


When I was younger, I had anorexia. I still have (depsite being fat) anorexic tendencies. I used to make a game of how long I could go without eating....5 days once. It is not healthy. I thought I looked so good, and I didnt. I see pictures of myself and Im like how in the hell?! I also had a thing where I could not bring myself to eat in front of people....weird eh?


You are beautiful just the way you are. Women come in all shapes and sizes...and those shapes and sizes change though out your life!! Don't let his insensitive behavior get you down. I always say instead of being upset at your size....Rock it the hell out!!!! Wear pretty underwear! Paint your toenails! Go shoe shopping!



and if all else fails....wait till he goes bald and call him "Rogaine McGee"


hahahahahah
User avatar
flipflip
BabyDuster
BabyDuster
 
Posts: 63
Joined: Mon May 12, 2008 12:00 am

Postby wifeymaeg » Fri Jul 11, 2008 12:21 pm

I agree with sugar... I can't believe he had the balls to say that to you. It is completely insensitive and I know if my dh said that to me, I'd tell him to shove it where the sun doesn't shine. I, too, have gained weight since we met. And yes I want to lose weight, for me, for him, for our ttc efforts... but even if he DID think I gained too much or whatever, he would never say so. Cuz he loves me, not my figure, not a number, not a scale, not a waist size... and would not want to hurt me by throwing it in my face.

But uhh, that could just be me.

The other girls pretty much covered the diet and exercise advice. I would just say simply... drink water, go on walks, eat more fruits and vegetables, and cut out fatty and sugary foods. It won't be sudden, but hopefully he'll stop bein a jerkface and help you...and hopefully you're doing this for you, not for him.

And definitely go shoe shopping :D
On November 12, 2009, a 6 pound 12 ounce
baby boy changed my life forever...
<a href="http://s178.photobucket.com/albums/w256/usmcwifey_maeg/?action=view¤t=IMG_0476.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i178.photobucket.com/albums/w256/usmcwifey_maeg/IMG_0476.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>
Happy birthday, Big Boy! Mommy loves you!
<a href="http://s178.photobucket.com/albums/w256/usmcwifey_maeg/?action=view¤t=cutie.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i178.photobucket.com/albums/w256/usmcwifey_maeg/cutie.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>
User avatar
wifeymaeg
Friend
 
Posts: 17
Joined: Mon Jan 21, 2008 1:00 am

Postby jenniona » Fri Jul 11, 2008 9:28 pm

Pink: Hope you're doing okay. I saw your pic and think you're lovely. Some men don't know a reak woman when they see one. :)
Me - Jenny 28
DH - 28
TTC #1 Since Feb 2008
Severe Male Factor, RE recommends IVF w/ICSI

IVF/ICSI - Start Stims Aug 26, 2009


Image
User avatar
jenniona
Friend
 
Posts: 12
Joined: Wed Jul 02, 2008 12:00 am

Postby lizzymay616 » Thu Jul 24, 2008 5:25 pm

Hey well that sucks that DH isn't very helpful! but hey I belong to www.sparkpeople.com too! i find it helpful, if your looking for free workout videos go to the library most will have some there and its free! but one of the best ways to work out thats free is jogging or walking, I jog 3 days a week and its helping I just started jogging 3 weeks ago, but already lost 7lbs and I didn't change my diet, but I didn't drink coffee or soda to start with, I'm a big water drinker.
ImageImage
lizzymay616
 
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon Jul 21, 2008 12:00 am

Postby soldiersangelttc1 » Sun Aug 03, 2008 11:48 pm

i am so sorry honey. the only thing i can tell you works for a fact. is walking, and water... cut your meals in half and eat fruit for breakfast. Thats how i lost 30 lbs in 3 wks. i walked everyday drank water when my stomach started growling, ate an orange for breakfast.

Im sorry your DH feels that way girl. And if you want to get back down to your size please do it for YOU. its the only healthy way and the ONLY way youll ever feel good about yourself.

Im here for ya..

-Nicole
Nicole(me) - 23
David (DH) - 27 (DSD - 7)
TTC since 2005
1 Round of Clomid - 10/23-10/27 (5-9)(O - CD19)
User avatar
soldiersangelttc1
Member
Member
 
Posts: 24
Joined: Mon Mar 24, 2008 12:00 am
Location: FORT HOOD TX


Return to Weight Loss and TTC