Early 20s, do you find people are judgmental?

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Postby dpalmer » Sat Dec 26, 2009 5:43 pm

i agree with you all dh and i are 23 and ttc #1 since aug of 08 and people tell us all the time ohh you have so much time and you are so young and i am thinking to myself ohh you have no idea how long we have been trying and if i had waited longer i may never get my chance to be a mommy!
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Postby jessie2354 » Sun Jan 03, 2010 3:14 pm

Wow I'm sooo glad I'm not the only one! Everyone I know finds out that I want children and they all tell me I'm so young.
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:)

Postby beckysan » Sat Jan 09, 2010 3:06 pm

Hey ladies!

I'm 23 but I look like I'm 19 and everyone gives me these "looks" when I bring up the fact that I'm TTC. I haven't told many people, just a few friends. People don't understand that everyone is ready at different times.

Good luck!!
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Postby hopingwaiting » Sat Jan 09, 2010 11:57 pm

ladies I know how you all feel. I hate the looks me and dh get with our situation! we've been together since I was 13 and we moved out together when I was 14. If I had a nickel for every time we were called stupid I could afford ivf for us all.
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Postby azaelia » Tue Jan 12, 2010 10:18 am

I'm 25 and DH is 29. I think the most popular comment we've received is "Wait a year or so before you have kids, and just enjoy being married..." from people whose opinion we NEVER asked for in the first place! :roll: Yes, we just got married two months ago, and yes DH works in a less than lucrative field...but honestly, we know what we're doing.

I'm REALLY afraid of what my MIL will say if and when we get pg. :?
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Postby LILMissSun » Sat Jan 16, 2010 11:59 am

Ugh I completely understand... but for us its not my MIL its my mother... just because my 30yr old sister has just gotten engaged. she thinks I have to be second for everything.... so I am supposed to wait for her to decide to have children, when I know my chances are getting smaller by the year? and we want a large family. it stinks!
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Postby MrsH » Fri Jan 22, 2010 7:40 am

Hi Ladies!!!

I am LOVING this thread....

My Husband is 26 and I'm 22 we've been living together for 3 years and married for 1. Since Day 1 we played the whole not trying not preventing thing. About a month before our wedding I started to get anxious!!! and now I am going nuts LOL! We have told our closest family Parents and siblings. I am more open to my mom and she is thrilled and can't wait for me to give her a grand child. My sister leans more to I should wait but that's because she's older than me and doesn't have any yet. As a girl at work tells me "I have my s**t put together" LOL! People always tell me to wait and you know what my answer is "2-3 years from now I'll be in the same place I am now" their main concern is my husband is pre-med. So in 2012 he will be *hopefully* leaving to med school. I tell them I rather have my first now then when I am away from my family because of school where everything will be new to me. I also tell them I am sure not waiting until he's done from school I would be almost 30 :-O

I haven't finished a degree, I am taking some classes here and there and have experience in the Accounting Field where I work and thankfully am well paid. My husband and I make more than the average size family, I just don't understand why they must be so judgmental. Is not like were expecting for them to offer financial contribution it's our responsibilities.

No Way! I might as well start now.
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Postby JessieL2 » Fri Jan 29, 2010 11:37 am

I just wanted to chime in with my own small story. I Have been ttc since i was 22, actively trying since i was 23. The only person who i could talk to about it was my sister, because she spent 5 yrs TTC herself before carrying her last pregnancy to term and giving birth to my nephew. The only problem is, she's 7 yrs older than me. Her only advice to me was to think about what i was doing and that i may want to wait until i was older. She started ttc when she was 25 and did not become a parent until she was 30. Basicly she was giving me the 'your not old enough' speech when she herself was ttc at the same age!!! I love my sister to DEATH, but she can be dense and overly judgemental and because of this, i have had to stop calling her for support.

The only people I trust to speak on the sensitive issues of TTC (and with my feelings about it) are the women of this forum. You guys are the best. xxx
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Postby princesssarah85 » Tue Mar 16, 2010 5:12 pm

When I saw this post it made me smile! I was 20 when DH and I had Jeremy. People of corse gave me looks when I was pregnant and when I would go places with him. I just would hold my head up high and smile. I wouldnt change having a baby so early. We now are trying for #2, which of corse didnt happen right away so Im on cycle 7 of trying. BabyDust to you all!
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Postby vickyuk » Wed Mar 17, 2010 3:59 pm

hi, me and my dp have been togeter 9 years and have 2 dd together and would like 1 more, i am 26 and he is 34.
I get some really dirty looks when im out with my kids as i look very very young.
people say i look 17 so you can imagin!
I hate it as they have no idea about my life, but after so many years the way i see it now is people that have very small judge mental minds like that really aint worth worry about.
At the end of the day you know the truth about your life and that is all that maters, try not to care what others think, they are not worth the worry! xxxxxxxxxx
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Postby worriedandanxious » Wed Mar 17, 2010 6:29 pm

I'm a bit worried about going to the doctor (we've been trying over a year) and if he'll say anything or look at me funny :|

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Postby princesssarah85 » Wed Mar 17, 2010 8:31 pm

Well hopefully you have a good doctor that makes u feel comfertable. Ha I'm pretty sure my doctor was cool with me being young, I'm pretty sure when she delivered jeremy she walked across the hall to deliver a 14 year olds baby!
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Postby Jettadear » Wed Apr 28, 2010 1:53 pm

From what I've noticed. Pregnant women get either "but your so young" or "isn't it a little dangerous at your age." When is the preverbial right time? From what I've seen, theres no answer.
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AGREED

Postby bveselka » Wed Apr 28, 2010 4:14 pm

I think that society is full of sceptics... Only you know when the time is "right!" I am 20 and my dh is 21... we have been married for going on 2yrs(june 1) like i said no one can tell u when it is the "right time" if you know then you know!
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Postby kez71 » Thu May 13, 2010 5:55 am

Hi Ladies..just cruising through your pages as ive read all the 30's and 40's during my two week wait..i have to say that no matter what you do in life, people will have opinions..youre too young, too old, too skiny, too fat, too rich, too poor..it goes on and on.
what really matters is your own opinions..if you feel ready..go for it..if you want to wait..thats fine too. You learn eventually to take what people say with a pinch of salt and move on and just do what you want to anyway.

To me the right time to have a baby is when you get pregnant..not a moment before!

I wish you all the best of luck..may we all get our BFP's asap!
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