Early 20s, do you find people are judgmental?

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Postby CantStandTWW » Sat May 15, 2010 3:53 pm

We're in the same boat. DH and I have known each other for over 10 years and we married when I was 19 & he was 21. We're now 21 & 23 and TTC #1!! My mom is supportive but if I tell anyone else I want a baby they're like "oh no u don't! You are both still kids and wanna have fun!" We both have full time steady jobs and ARE ready no matter what they say! Good luck to everyone :D don't let them get u down!
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Postby bveselka » Mon May 17, 2010 8:04 am

Don't worry about what people say... Just have fun with it and god will give you your blessing when the time is right. my husband and i have been trying since January of last year. You would think that for young people it wouldn't take so long but... as god sees fit. GL to everyone!
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Postby hopingwaiting » Wed May 19, 2010 4:58 pm

My in laws are the worst. We were going to get married in vegas a few weeks ago, and mil said "No, you guys are way to young!" and my cil and her bf (who are the same age and have a 2 y/o) said "Maybe we should get married too" and mil says "Its about time!". The funny part is we've been together for 2 years longer then them and haven't broken up once but cil and her bf have broken up multiple times. Anyways back to my story... dh says "Mom, why is it ok for them to get married but not us?" she says "Because they have a kid" So dh starts walking in the house and mil says "Where are you going?" he says "To go knock My fiance up so we can get married!" she says " Thats not what I meant!" And he says "You and dad got married when you were our age" and she says "It was the best choice I've ever made"

Why the h*ll can everyone else get married and have kids but us?
My in laws are crazy!
Me (Jaz) DH (Joe)...TTC #1 since 1/08
Angel baby #1 etopic at 8w6d 3/9/08.
Angel baby #2 missed m/c at around 8wks (?) passed baby 1/16/11.
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We're done actively TTC, we are now NTNP
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Postby bmw0029 » Mon Jun 07, 2010 11:55 am

Right there with everyone, we get alot of mixed emotions. Our parents/siblings are super excited. They both had us young, in their early 20's -- so for us to have a baby seems natural. However, many other family members, Friends, and so on, who are either much older think we need to enjoying being together. It gets really frustrating.

But, in the end, be with those who life you up and remember,its your family and you have to do whats best for YOU.
Me: 27
Hubby: 27
Married since 6/21/08, together for 9 years
Daughter, Leah born 02/2011 Clomid baby, 1st round!
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Postby inlovewithjhk » Thu Jun 24, 2010 8:44 pm

I started TTC when I was 24 and - surprise- my DH has MFI! I got nothing but really warm responses from Dr.s and fertility specialists, and all my friends and family have been so supportive! If anyone gives me any crap or think I'm stupid or too young, I let it slip into conversation that I'm a Dr. -That normally shuts them up!

I got married at 22 and it was sooo annoying having people telling me that I was too young. No one knows your situation but you :)
Me- 27- Tests show everything works perfectly!
DH- 36- SA results = 80 million, 30% motility (3% forward progressive), <1% strict morphology- Diagnosis= severe male factor infertility

IVF #1, 11/09- BFP! Its a girl! Born 8/18/09

Tried naturally for 1.5 years after my DD was born... guess things still don't work right!

FET #1, 01/11- BFP! :angel: at 6w

IVF #2- 5/11- 11 eggs retrieved, 9 fert! Hoping for a day 5 transfer.... grow babies grow!!
5/31/11- BPF!! on FRER!
Baby girl #2 due 2/10/12 :)
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Postby mrstclark » Mon Aug 16, 2010 4:33 pm

And here I've felt so very alone!
Dh and I are 20 and 22. We just decided to start TTC. People are so judgemental even other military wives who have already done exactly what were doing! We have two furbabies and can make it on his salary alone. So it's not like we're completely at a loss here! We haven't told anyone except my closest friend that were ttc.. and boy did I feel completely alone!
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Postby mmarly88 » Wed Aug 18, 2010 7:21 am

I didnt read everyones responses, but i do know that if you and DH are ready, willing and able to have children, then why does it matter what/how people react

i am 23 and dh is 3- and we get the same thing as well, we want to get pregnant very soon as i want DH to still have lots of energy left for the lil ones!!!

good luck n baby dust
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Postby alexmarie » Fri Aug 20, 2010 1:35 pm

I just wanted to add in that I know how all of your are feeling. I am a month away from being 22 and my DH is a couple months from being 23. We have been married for almost a year and together for 5 years (during which he was very close with my whole family). I graduated with my Bachelor's degree last December. My mom told me a couple months ago that if I get pregnant in less then a year that her and my dad would be very angry and upset. This coming from parents that met, got engaged and married and got pregnant within a year, my mom being 22. My dad had two kids before he was 22. They always want to point to my older brother that got married when he was 26 and had my nephew at 27, even though he dropped out of college and even though him and his wife have great jobs my DH and I are just about as financially stable as them. Not to mention my husband works from home any hours he chooses and we would never have to have day care for our kids (something my mom has stressed to me that she doesn't want me to have to constantly have someone else taking care of my kids). So needless to say I have to hide the fact that we are TTC and when and if I get pregnant I have to kind of fudge to them how it happened. My parents and are close but I feel they can be a little hypocritical sometimes. This sucks because its supposed to be the happiest thing in the world announcing to the family that we are expecting.
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Postby mrstclark » Sun Sep 19, 2010 5:36 am

I Definetly agree with you guys on some points! I'm 20 and DH is 22 and we just started ttc. I don't actually care who knows lol. We've been married 2 years, I've heard so much crap about how im too young for this and that even before I was ttc!!! So now I'm like Meh... I'm 20 leave me alone lol! But i will admit I get a bit judgmental when i hear teenagers are TTC .. I mean it's not that they're not married, it's just that most teens TTC ing are my little sisters age and in my opinion there is an age that's too young. I think if you're ready and can support a child and want to start at 18 or 20 or something along those lines ok.. But anything less is def. Too young in my mind lol. But anyway! Had to get that outta my system!! Goodluck to all you ttc couples!! ~baby dust to all ~
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Postby mrstclark » Sun Sep 19, 2010 5:40 am

I would like to add that I am really happy for everyone on here! I hate that families can be so judgmental but I beloved if you can take care of a baby and provide emotionally as well as physically for a child the people around you should be overjoyed not jealous and cruel. I'm praying for all of you ttc ers!!! Baby dust and love to all :)
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Postby kizzzah » Wed Oct 13, 2010 11:23 pm

Im 21 ill be 22 in Jan 2011. I dunno i havent really had comment. I have #2 children ages 3.5yr and almost 2 yrs and we are ttc #3.
Im married. I love that we are young. Im doing uni aswell.

LOL i was ttc at 16-17 and fell at 17 we were engaged owned a house and living together. BUT noway could i imagine other 16-17 yr old doing it lol.

I graduated high school etc and we moved into our house we bought the week before i found out i was preg. we have since sold it though. We didnt get married till last yr !
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Postby mrstclark » Sun Oct 24, 2010 5:21 am

I've expienced being judged alot more than i thought here lately. When one of the older women u work with overheard me talking to my friend who is Also ttc she just scoffed and informed us we were making the dumbest decision of out lives. I told her that until she has lived my life she can't judge me on which decisions she thinks are right or wrong. But I guess when it's an accident people are always supportive, but once you're trying people get upset -.-
ME (24) DH (26)
TTC on/off since November 2011.
Angel baby Feb 2010. :angel2:
:bfp: September 25th 2013
Miracle Baby Boy Born June 9th! <3
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:bfp: May 18th 2015
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People that don't care + a vent

Postby Onestepcloser » Mon Oct 25, 2010 2:42 pm

I can relate and then some... so here it is, I have a brother and a sister and they both have 2 kids each my brother is 26 and my sister is 22 I am stuck in the middle at 24 going on 25 in a couple months... now their lives have been nothing but drama and each child has a different father/mother for cryin out loud the mother of my brother's first daughter is hearing voices (but im not responsible enough to have children apparently) Everyone in my family keeps telling me not to have babies from my husband's sperm because he is not a hot model and he is not a rocket scientist but personally he fits everything and more that I wanted so isnt that what matters??? I mean my sister has been married and divorced and the father of her first child is in jail for murder and the guy she is seeing now and has plans to marry this winter has been to jail for manslaughter!!!! IS IT JUST ME OR ARE THESE PEOPLE NUTS oh and they are planning to have a child together as well which would be 4 total for them as a couple because apparently he has a son already... I am just so sick and tired of doing what everyone else tells me to like my dad says oh dont have babies yet, but will he say that forever just because my sister and brother have screwed it up so bad I mean I got married and my 4 year anniversary is comming up on this december 5th and unfortunately me and hubby are on our own because everyone is treating us so bad... I just personally think that there are soooo many of us women that are responsible and have soooo much to offer a child and have had the god given ability taken away in some for or are just having problems, that it is sickening when people like my sibling some along pop out kids like they are on clearance and then disgard them and only claim them if they get more money put on my their welfare cheques I am asahmed to call them family and for that I feel I owe all of the women on here an apology for them even being allowed to have babies and waste so much space. FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE I AM DOING WHAT I WANT AND THAT IS HAVING A BABY AND MAKING THE BEST OF MY LIFE... :o) and man it feels great... thanks for letting me vent

Our TTC Journey 8 years so far!
This is 2015

Me - 29, PCOS and type 2 diabetes
DH - 37

Started TTC December 5,2006 we spent 2 years TTC naturally. nothing was happening so I got depressed and gained a whole bunch of weight. Spent 6 years working on living a healthy lifestyle, and thats where we are today.

First IUI medicated CD1 Feb 25th/2015- Femara 5mg/day CD3 - CD7 , Menopur injection CD6 150 iu. Follies only grew 3 - 5mm and lining was only 2.5mm so IUI canceled started progesterone March 9th/2015 (AF expected in 2 weeks)

Second IUI, AF has arrived, have u/s on may 19th start 150iui menopur tomorrow for 5 days
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I am 20

Postby cbeckwith » Fri Nov 26, 2010 2:32 pm

I am 20 and currently ttc #1. Dh is 28 so maybe thats what it is. My family has not said much at all. I pretty much told them it was either this or hormone replacement though because I have extremely low progesterone and terrible symptoms. Don't let anyone judge you. We have been actively ttc since feb 09. We are happily married and I have a full time step daughter who will be four next week.
TTC #1 since Feb 09
SD Age 5
1st Clomid cycle Oct. 24 2010 CD 3-7 50mg BFN
Nov 11 Progesterone test = 27.6!!!
2nd Clomid cycle Nov. 24 2010 CD 3-7 50 mg= BFP

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