Taking a break from TTC :(

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Taking a break from TTC :(

Postby Corvina » Mon Dec 02, 2013 1:39 am

hey there! We've been ttc for nearly 6 years :( I'm 24 now 25 in early march.
This is my last cycle of TTC and i'm heartbroken in more then one way. I didnt intend this to be our last cycle, and we werent really trying either just not preventing/not having much sex.

My relationship has gotten really rocky, and I'm sadly at a point in my life where I need to figure out whether or not to stay with my husband and try to fix things or move on and start a new life, and I think it would be terribly irresponsible of me to keep TTC knowing I may end up leaving my DH and make my life a chaotic mess(I've NEVER lived on my own, never had a job for more then a month, so i've never taken care of myself on my own, I went straight from living at home with my mom to getting kicked out at 17 and moving in immidatly with the DH whom i had only known a month, and since he enjoys taking care of people I wasnt expected to work,(And honestly 2 years ago I could NOT hold a job, and the last 2 years i've been content in not working)He would like me to because the extra income would be a perk, but he never tried to force it.

I really do want children...I wanted to start my family young, I wouldnt MIND being a single mother, the idea makes me so happy...but at the same time I KNOW it would just be a bad idea for me to have a child then try to manage my life on my own, raising a child is difficult, and living on my own for the first time ever will be difficult, I'm to worried that all my hard work to control myself and get my mental health under control could be torn apart if I put myself under that kind of stress.

I do hope me and the DH can work things out, and that we can maybe consider once again TTC..But that will only happen if we can 100% work on our problems and figure out if this is honestly what we both want. At the same time I think I need to also focus on my health issues, my health insurance starts in january so I can see a doctor for the first time in years out side the ER. I'd like to be sure I'm healthy, and get the cyst on my spleen(that I found out a bout over a year ago but could do NOTHING about due to not being able to see a doctor), work on loosing a few pounds, get a job things like that. I look at our financial situation and I cant help but wonder how we could even take care of a child we can BARELY afford our bills, but i was so obssessed with starting my family I didnt care. I had an attitude of "My family raised me on FAR less, so what we have is enough." DH didnt even want to start TTC but only went along because I begged him, and he cant say no to me... I feel like in a way prehaps I am blessed to not have gotten my BFP, i'm sad yes, but I look at my life now, and I realize its for the best, because if I had a child I could NEVER leave even if I wanted to.

If I do get a BFP this cycle, I'll laugh so danged hard at the irony of the situation, because as I said I was NOT tryingr, though we were not preventing, we had VERY little sex so I'm not to worried, if it hasnt happened in 4 years of active TTC what are the odds it happens when I'm not trying?

Not having sex for a while while we figure things out is going to suck :rofl: but using birthcontrol goes against a vital belief of mine so I have no option on that front, cant even use the danged time your cycle birth control due the fact my cycles are irregular so I cant pinpoint the safe days x.x

I know this is kinda silly to post here, but I cant talk about this anywhere else, my family knows i'm struggling with DH and figuring out my life, but they dont know we were TTC or what this all means to me, or how much this sucks and hurts to have realized that my life is at a point where TTC is not the best of ideas.

I am making the right choice here right?
Me: 24 DH: 25
[color=#FF8000][*]Currently expecting Baby #1 due june 2nd 2015[/color]
TTC #1 Since May 2008*
Currently NOT TTC due to relationship and personal issues, as of Dec. 2013
Furbabies-Roseblack,5 the most vocal cat I know

Expecting baby #1 June 5,2015 after 5 years ttc and then not ttc the last year lol, totally unplanned and unexpected
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Re: Taking a break from TTC :(

Postby Alwaysherebefore » Tue Dec 03, 2013 6:25 pm

It sounds to me you know the choices you have to make and you are going to work to better your situation. I think that's great. Ttc can put stress on a relationship so I can imagine that has added strain to your relationship with DH in addition to whatever else life has thrown at you.

I think it might be helpful to seek a third party person like a therapist and some insurances can help with the cost. Also many communities provide affordable therapy as well. It would benefit you both and you'd have a fresh third party person to help you sort things out.

Good luck with everything and I hope the new year brings you happiness in your relationship!
30, married Oct 2012
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Diagnosed with PCOS Aug 2014
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Re: Taking a break from TTC :(

Postby DDeff » Sun Dec 08, 2013 5:17 pm

I think you're making a responsible decision and when the time is right to have that baby you want, you'll be a better mother for having yourself together. I sincerely hope everything works out for you.
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